Karinderella

Voiceless

2011-11-15T16:38:00.002-05:00

Since I so rarely get sick, I'm not very good at it. I usually get two colds a year. My fall cold didn't seem too bad at first. My usual symptoms (sore throat, plugged-up ears, low fever, constantly hacking my brains out) were blessedly absent. I had a husky voice for a couple of days. It was kind of fun in a way sounding like I'd been out partying all night.

Last Saturday evening, Paul & I went to an Oberlin Alumni Potluck in Cleveland Heights. This was the second one I've been to, and I always enjoy the conversations with articulate, like-minded people. We had met a few of the people last time, including our hosts, who happened to live in the house next door to the house I had shared with 3 roommates over 20 years ago.

We met one 50-something woman in a beautiful bohemian-looking blouse who used to work at Delphic Books in Coventry. She introduced us to her companion, a man of about the same age. He was very pleasant, so when we got plates of food, we sat near him.

Well, he just started venting about illegal immigrants, lazy welfare moochers, etc. Now keep in mind that by now I had only about half my voice left, and the room was very loud. I really had to think about whatever I said, since I had to save my voice and I couldn't project. I could see his point of view, but it was really off-putting how sneering and contemptuous he was of other human beings. I made non-committal comments, but he wasn't interested in hearing my point of view.

It was weird that by his age, he hadn't yet learned that it's not the best idea to vent about politics with people you don't know--what made him think I agreed with him? Couldn't he see by my body language that I was trying to disengage from the conversation? He was absolutely clueless. Then he started dissing Ohio as a place to live. I said, "Well, I'm happy here and I chose to live here." You'd think he would get a hint.

When I mentioned an article I had read in the New York Times to support my thesis that if we got rid of illegal immigrants, Americans don't want to/don't have the physical stamina to work those migrant farm worker jobs he started dissing my NYT. That was it. I said, " I don't agree with you, and I'm ending this conversation," got up, and went to the other room.

I don't like to think of myself as someone who refuses to talk about politics with someone I don't agree with. I think it was his tone that got me. And his assumption that I would be on his side. Really, dude? At an Oberlin function in Cleveland Heights? I really wonder what Ms. Delphic Books sees in him.

I proceeded to talk for three more hours (with other people), which was a blast, but by the end of the evening, my voice was gone and I've been totally mute ever since. It gets me thinking about people who really don't have a voice. Maybe next time, I will take the risk to speak up when someone is speaking contemptuously of others. And I should be more mindful before opening my mouth, because sometimes I do the same thing.

May

2011-08-29T23:21:00.000-04:00

Last night, Paul & I were invited to the Student Appreciation Party at our teacher's new (and much farther away) ballroom. One of our fellow students, May, is in her mid-90's. She has a private lesson once a week, and can move more easily than a lot of 60-year-olds we know. She has a whole wardrobe of ballroom dresses she made and designed herself. She has a nice little business making outfits for other ballroom dancers for their competitions.

We got to talking last night, and she said that lately she's been branching out. Apparently, her fame is spreading to other demographics. She's started designing outfits for pole dancers. We think this is kind of awesome.

Here's a snippet of conversation from last night.

Paul: So what are the pole-dancing costumes like?

May: Skimpy! And stretchy!

Paul: I guess the skirts have to be kind of short--otherwise, they'd just fly up in their faces when they're upside-down.

May: Yeah, they're about seven inches long.

If I live to be 96, I hope I turn out to be half as cool as she is.

What IS Reality?

2011-07-02T18:49:00.000-04:00

Paul and I love this topic, and have a variation of this conversation at least once in any given week.

Unless I stop to think about it, I tend to assume that everybody else experiences reality exactly the same way I do. That plate I'm eating from sure seems to be a solid object, even though on the atomic level it's mostly empty space between atoms. If a friend and I each took out a pencil and paper to draw the plate, I think we would each come up with a similar picture. This leads me to believe (and assume) that s/he and I perceive the plate the same way. When we have a conversation "on the same wavelength," and we don't have to work hard to make each other understood, it feels like we must experience the world in a very similar way.

It's really hard to imagine the world from any frame of reference outside the filters of my bodily senses and life experiences. Without the brain's ability to organize raw sensory data into patterns, the world out there would just be a chaotic mess of random-seeming atoms. We wouldn't be able to make sense out of any of it.

Even if someone else shared my exact sensory perceptions (doubtful), s/he would still have a totally different history of life experiences. We would perceive the same sensory experience very differently.

This reminds me of a spirited debate in my Twentieth Century (music) Analysis class in my CIM days. Our prof asked the class the following question: If you encountered an isolated group of people who had never heard Western music before and played them a Beethoven symphony, would it sound like dissonant chaos to them? A minority of the class, including me, said it would. The other side argued with conviction that Beethoven was so universally accessible that of course they would understand it, and probably love it, upon hearing it for the first time, just like we would. We must have debated it for at least half an hour.

I still stand by my conviction. When I first heard Indian music, it sounded strange and out of tune to me because the intervals in their scale are much closer together than ours. I'm sure it doesn't sound that way to them!

Since every human is unique, it follows that there are approximately 7 billion different human realities out there. It's amazing that we get along as well as we do!

A Cautionary Tale for Those Who Keep a Messy Office (Like Me!)

2011-01-21T14:36:00.000-05:00

I finally spent about an hour and a half going through the 16 months' worth of old mail, catalogs, rejects from the printer, schoolwork, check stubs, and various other detritus. For the first time in ages, I can see both the carpet and my desktop. It sure is nice! That's the good news.

I had weeks during the winter break from work and school that I could have done this. But of course I didn't. Why now? Well, it's funny you should ask. Earlier in the week, I extracted a few pieces of music from my vast pile of sheet music to play for this Sunday's church service, and, as usual, brought them upstairs to my office so I could copy the titles and composers into an e-mail so they could be listed in the Order of Service. At least, I thought I brought them upstairs.

The week got busy. My online class, Business Strategies, started. I added blizzards of syllabus and PowerPoint printouts to the ankle-deep mess on the floor. I accepted a job as rehearsal pianist for the Bedford High musical, Guys and Dolls. Must print out the rehearsal schedule, contact info, Google Map to the school, etc. There are tons of papers all over the place related to my Treasurer duties at the church--financial statements, board meeting paperwork, etc--in several separate piles. I suppose I ought to get to that and stop procrastinating, I thought.

It's funny how well I can adapt, to a point, to navigating in a mess. I rarely spend more than a couple of minutes looking for a particular piece of paper before finding it. But then there comes that one time that the thing you're looking for, in this case, my music for Sunday, seems to have disappeared into a parallel universe. Couldn't find it before work this morning. Oh, well, I thought, I'll find it this afternoon.

But I couldn't. Really, I went through everything, even the paper recycling box. The horrible thought occurred to me: what if I had mistakenly dumped it into the recycling that I already took out and got rid of? I looked at the playlist I had e-mailed to the church office. Had I unintentionally memorized any of it from the last time I played it? How well could I fake it, if necessary? Most of it was fairly obscure ragtimes and fiddle tunes. How noticeable would it be if I had to make up large sections of it? Or would it be better to just pick something else and make an announcement? Not that anyone would notice the difference--or would they?

I didn't have any memory of putting it back in the tattered plastic library bag where I keep all of my xeroxed copied music, but I looked there, since I had now exhausted every other alternative. It wasn't in the top of the pile. But seven or eight pieces down, there it was. I heaved a great sigh of relief.

I guess the moral of the story is: Don't let the layer of papers become such a permanent part of your office floor that the cat walks on it and even naps on it because he thinks it's part of the floor.

A Shiver Up My Spine (Not the Good Kind)

2010-12-13T22:29:00.000-05:00

Winter is making its second grand entrance in less than a week here along the Lake Erie shore. It's been snowing for at least 24 hours straight, with a nasty wind averaging at least 35 mph. The wind has a good side: it blows the snow off our driveway as fast as it can fall, so I haven't had to do any shoveling. However, the downside is that the wind chill factor is about -11 F. Though our house is fairly new and holds heat well, that wind just seemed to penetrate its icy fingers right through our walls earlier today.

Throughout the morning, as I was reviewing my notes for my Financial Management final, the room seemed to be getting colder and colder. I was already wearing my L. L. Bean fleece pj's, which are usually toasty enough to be more than adequate when I bump the heat up to 66, as I often do when I'm home during the day. But my hands were icy and I couldn't feel my toes even with socks on.

So I put on my heavy robe over the pj's and a second layer of socks before I took the exam. Gotta love those online classes on a day like this! After acing the exam (yes!) and farting around on my favorite websites for a while, I thought, hey, I'll do a cardio workout--that ought to warm me up. I opened the bedroom door to get my workout wear and was practically bowled over by the crypt-like draft blasting out of there. The thermometer said 52 degrees! It's always freezing in there during the winter, especially on windy days, but this was lower than I'd ever seen it.

I went downstairs to check the thermostat: 60 degrees. That's funny, I thought. It seems like the furnace isn't even on. I went down to the utility room, and sure enough, it was eerily quiet. My mind flashed back to a time in the summer when the air conditioning seemed to be malfunctioning, and wouldn't respond no matter what we did. It turned out that Mouchie the cat had bumped the master switch to the "off" position hours before. (I really wonder who thought it was a good idea to install it 2 feet above the floor level.)

Today, the switch was in its usual "up" position, but I thought, maybe turning it off and on will "reboot" the furnace. I did that, and, dramatically, the furnace roared to life, followed by the fan. I had fixed it! That's a little weird, but whatever. And then, exactly 15 minutes later, it stopped. All afternoon, I kept running down there to reboot it, which brought the house to an anemic 61 degrees. I had the gas fireplace on for about 7 hours, which at least kept the family room warm, but I knew something was seriously wrong. The bedroom was now down to a bone-chilling 45 degrees! How on earth were we going to sleep tonight?

When Paul got home, we looked up furnace troubleshooting tips online. We looked up the phone number of the heating and cooling company that does our maintenance in case we had to call them tomorrow. He went outside into the arctic blast with a flashlight to see if the outside vent was coated in ice or something--nope. It just kept getting colder and colder. We started retreating into ourselves like turtles. Well, I did, anyway.

Paul finally started checking the tubes that vented water from the humidifier, after jostling one around, water just started gushing from it, as if it had been pent up in a reservoir. It had been pinched near the bottom, leaving the water nowhere to go. After one false cycle, the furnace has been functioning normally for an hour and a half now. I think (hope) he solved the problem.

Here's what we think happened. Although Mouchie hadn't flipped the master switch this time, the chain of events that led up to this is still his fault. About 3 weeks ago, when I was eating my lunch at home, I heard a huge crashing noise, followed by the pinging of hundreds, perhaps thousands, of tiny pebble-like objects. Something was clearly amiss down in the utility room.

As I came down the stairs, the overpowering smell of dry catfood overwhelmed me. Mouchie, hiding behind the couch in full freak-out mode, shot up the stairs as soon as he saw me. I had a few choice words upon entering the room. He had knocked over a newly-opened 15-pound bag of dry cat food from the top shelf. It weighed more than he did--don't ask me how he had the strength--and absolutely exploded upon impact dumping little pellets of cat food everywhere. And I mean everywhere. All over the top of the washing machine and dryer. behind them. Inside them, even though their doors weren't open. On top of (and in) the litter box. (Guess I should be thankful it had a cover over it.) In every dust-bunny- and cobweb-infested nook and cranny in the entire room. Including, of course, all of the nooks and crannies of the furnace and its myriad pipes and tubes.

I was on my hands and knees for at least a half and hour with the hand broom and dustpan getting it all. We had had ants before (who love dry cat food), so I made an effort to get every last kibble. It was like hunting for cockroaches; you see one, you know there are 10,000 more just out of plain sight. Honestly, that's what I was thinking when I pulled the flimsy little white pipes aside only to see at least 200+ kibbles way under there. I had to get them all! As you can imagine, I was kind of pissed at this point, and I took it out on those poor pipes, shoving their ends back in their little hole none too carefully.

Fast forward to today, the first day it was cold enough for the furnace to be on continuously for hours and hours at a time. The water from the humidifier just couldn't drain fast enough, and when its reservoir stayed full, it automatically shut off the furnace. Now that it can drain, problem solved. It sure is a relief that we (and our pipes!) won't freeze overnight, and that we are spared the ordeal of an emergency service call on a day that I'm sure plenty of others would be ahead of us in line.

Almost Busted

2010-10-07T17:02:00.001-04:00

Last night on my way home from class, I stopped for gas at a very well-lighted Shell station right before the freeway entrance. Toodling along on I-71, listening to a mix CD, I noticed the traffic slowing as we approached the municipality of Linndale. Linndale is a tiny community, encompassing only a few hundred yards of the freeway, and is universally known as a notorious speed trap. The general impression is that nailing speeders is their primary means of municipal income. There is almost always a cop car lurking on the far left shoulder under the overpass, just waiting for the opportunity to score.

The speed limit on that part of the freeway is 60. I saw the cop car and checked my perfectly illuminated speedometer display. It read about 58 mph. All was well with the world. No one around me was speeding, either.

After passing the bridge, I glanced up at my rear-view mirror. I saw that the cop had started his flashing lights. I figured that this was a don't-mess-with-me display, not unlike that of a cobra flaring its hood or a dog baring its fangs, just to warn people to slow down. But then he started moving, with the lights. I wondered who he was after. Usually, they don't bother unless someone is going recklessly fast, weaving in and out, etc., and I didn't see anyone around me who wasn't on their best driving behavior.

Pretty soon, I saw the lights in the lane right behind me, and realized he was after me. I pulled over, having no idea what I'd done. My heart started pounding. What on earth did I do? The thought of a moving violation jacking our insurance rates through the roof gave me a sinking feeling. A young cop got out, came up to me, and asked for my driver's license and proof of insurance. And then asked me if I realized I had been driving without my lights on!

I had no idea. Obviously, I had turned them off when I stopped for gas and never remembered to turn them back on. The streetlights lit the road so brightly, I couldn't even tell the difference. He spent several minutes in the cop car, presumably writing me up. Ugh, what a stupid brain fart. And for that, I would probably have to pay a ticket (a day's pay or so) and then eventually an extra week's pay on next year's insurance premium. This suuucks!

After making me sweat for a few interminable minutes, he came back to my window to hand me back my documents. I said I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed about the lights. He asked, "You didn't notice that your dashboard display was dark?" I showed him that the dashboard is fully lit whether the lights are on or off, and I really had no idea. He then said, "Well, remember to drive with your lights on from now on."

Sweet--I got off with a warning, and no ticket! That hasn't happened to me for 15-20 years. I guess that means my feminine charms are still good enough to get me out of a jam. More likely, I reminded him of his mom. :-)

Night Out (the Having-A-Life Part of My Weekend)

2010-10-02T16:30:00.000-04:00

Last night, Paul & I went to see Verb Ballets at the new Breen Center for the Performing Arts in Tremont, a whopping 12-minute drive from home. It's a beautiful facility for dance--just a few hundred seats, all with good sight-lines and an excellent sound system. Saw lots of people from the Cleveland area dance community. It was a one-night engagement, so everyone who wanted to come was there the same night. Highlights:

The opener, "Cleveland Flats Symphony," had stunningly bright and sharp video images of architecture and scenery from the Cleveland flats projected on the backdrop. The dance seemed almost like an accompaniment to the video, the choreography echoing its images. One I liked: a dancer doing the backstroke across the stage as river paddle-boats floated by across the screen.
"Reflections of...'" a new duet by the Greene/Medcalf Project (Terence Greene and Michael Medcalf, both of whom have taught classes I've played for over the years). Terence's choreography is to movement what melisma is to a melody. It was nice to talk to both of them after the show.
After intermission, under the pretense that she had won a Verb t-shirt in a raffle, a young lady was called up to the stage where her sweetheart presented her with a red rose bouquet. He asked the audience to sing "Happy Birthday" to her, which we did, in the keys of D major and F# Major simultaneously ("Happy Birthday" arranged by Charles Ives). He then proposed to her on stage, much to the delight of the audience (lots of shrieking and standing ovations). Good thing she said yes!
The final piece was "The Myth and The Madness of Edgar Allen Poe." Schubert and Bizet were mixed in with eerie, diabolical- and and dramatic-sounding music to accompany this narrative of Poe's descent into madness as all of his loved ones die before their time, one after another. Lots of black ravens carrying them off into the next world and dancing menacingly. It made me think about how nasty, brutish, and short life (and death) were back then, when most people died of acute diseases and infections around age 36.
Afterwards, we went out for dinner at the Flying Fig (first time for us) with Brad and Elaine and Brad's mom, Grace, who we know from the CWRU Dance Department. Great food and great conversation--we talked a lot about the tension between science and religion in this country, and about the book about the changing nature of death that Paul and I read last month. Next thing we knew, it was after midnight and we were closing down the restaurant!

I've got four (count 'em) nights playing at Stages Restaurant this month, starting tonight, after a five-month hiatus. I'm a second-stringer there, and usually get called about once a month when one of the regular pianists gets another gig that pays more. One of them John Parkinson, is convalescing after having a heart attack and won't be up to it for a while. I wish him a full recovery. Meanwhile, I'll enjoy the windfall of extra paid work.

Of course, this also means my having-a-life nights will probably not take up a whole evening again for a while. After the gig tonight, we could have gone to a party, a wine tasting, or out dancing, but I'll be cracking the books for school until the wee hours instead.

This Is My Brain in The Zone

2010-09-11T17:17:00.001-04:00

Today, one of my Facebook friends set up a group called "Tapping Our Creative Energies," with the aim of exploring and sharing our insights and experiences about being "in the zone" where creative inspirations happen. This is a great topic, as I've arranged my life so that I can have creative experiences every day. It's the only way I can consistently enter the Zone, where I can feel fully present in the moment for more than a couple of seconds at a time.

I posted this as the first discussion.

Ever since I can remember, I've always associated specific colors with pitches (A is red, D is green, etc.). It's not as vivid as it was when I was a child, but whenever I play a piece of music, I see in my mind's eye a combination of colors, shapes, images,and musical notation.

The colors are always coordinated with the tonality of what I'm playing, and the shade changes depending on the harmonic context. For example, D major is a bright, primary green, while D minor is is more pine or sage green, and a D in a diminished chord would be more olive. It's a sort of visual shorthand.

When I'm playing for a modern dance class, where I have to make up everything on the spot, sometimes I'll look at what color someone is wearing to help me pick a key. I'll see a shape or sculpture that reflects the meter(s), structure, or accents of the exercise--for example, if it's in 7, is it 2-2-3, 2-3-2, or 3-2-2? If it's the first one, I'll see two squares and a triangle--then all I have to do is "color in" the picture with notes, and not get bogged down in concentrating on each individual count.

These "little" patterns become parts of bigger structural elements. Say there are 9 7's. I'll maybe divide it up into 3 sets of 3 7's. Or the overall pattern might be 4+5. Whatever it is, that's what I'll use to phrase it.

I use this same process when playing things I did not make up. Memorizing just sort of happens automatically, unless I haven't spent much time on it.

If I didn't see these visuals, playing/composing music wouldn't be half as fun or interesting. How about you? Anybody else have sensory overlap experiences during the creative process?

Treasurer

2010-09-10T20:15:00.002-04:00

My church has been soliciting the congregation to fill the position of Treasurer for several months now. This is the first time in my memory that no one on the Board of Trustees stepped up for it. Every week, there has been an (increasingly desperate) announcement that we need a volunteer for this position, that no experience is necessary, that Steve (our outgoing treasurer) will walk you through the first month or so.

I knew about this position back in June, when Steve's 2-year term was supposed to end. All summer I have been thinking about it. My first reaction was that it would be too much for me to take on, with two hard classes plus additional music work this fall.

But last week, I was talking to Paul about whether I should take on the volunteer tax clinic for a second year, which would entail taking the training class again (6 Saturdays in the fall, 4.5 hours per class) and doing people's taxes for 10 Saturdays (5 hours a day) in the spring. Would it really add that much to a resumé to say that I did it for two seasons instead of one? Or would it be better to get some experience with some bookkeeping-related work, since that's what I hope to do with this degree?

Internships are hard to come by in Cleveland, in this economy. Finding a part-time one that I can work into my strange schedule during the school year seemed well nigh impossible. As we were talking about it, I realized: here is a chance to get some experience that can work around my schedule! Here's a description of the Treasurer's responsibilities from the Beacon (monthly newsletter):

The Board is seeking a Member to fill the position of Treasurer. This is a 2-year position to begin as soon as possible.

The Treasurer tasks include:

Receiving and processing donations, pledges, offering and other income
Working with the Bookkeeper to compile monthly reports
Attend Board meeting to present monthly reports
Maintain Account of Finances
Submit Fiscal Year End Report
Pledge Receipts Reporting to Individual Members

This work is done with the assistance of the Society’s Bookkeeper and Office Administrator. Steve Doell the previous Treasurer will work with the new Treasurer to provide guidance and assistance during the first month to help the volunteer to become familiar with the tasks and duties of the position.

It's almost like the universe was saving this opportunity for me to take on, as no one else has expressed any interest in it for the past 3 months.

The Living End (Reflections)

2010-08-27T18:13:00.000-04:00

I just devoured a book called The Living End, by Guy Brown. It was a well-written account of how the circumstances of death have changed drastically in the past 100 or so years. In the old days, something like 40% of humanity never made it to their 5th birthday. Life expectancy was still low even for those who made it past 5--they were most likely to die in their 30s or 40s from acute causes like infectious disease, famine, violence, complications from childbirth, etc.

Nowadays, in an age of good sanitation and antibiotics, people live a lot longer but tend to die of chronic conditions like heart disease, cancer, respiratory disease, and dementia, often after at least a decade of poor health. Even fatal heart attacks have become less common (when you think about it, that would be a good way to go--it's quick). Now, instead, people live with congestive heart failure, or a fragile, jerry-rigged heart, kept going by technology and drugs.

The first third or so of the book, as you might imagine, was a bit of a downer. There is no evidence, he says, that a good diet, exercise, supplements, etc. slow down our aging rate at all. Yeah, you'll be healthier, but a 65-year-old in 2010 is just as physically aged as a 65-year-old in 1510. So all of this increase in life expectancy isn't front-loaded onto youth; it just adds years onto the end, when you're less functional.

The cool part of the book was the discussion about how death has changed from a "digital" (1 you're fully alive, 0 you're fully dead, with no gray in-between) to an "analog" event (more like a dimmer switch). From the book:

The digital theory of death is dying. We can no longer think of ourselves as suddenly going from being fully alive (1) to fully dead (0). In the same way we have accepted that we do not jump from being non-existent (0) to fully alive (1) at birth. Becoming a full human being is a process. We grow into it over a period of years and decades, but then we grow out of it. That does not mean that aging is growing up in reverse. They are obviously completely different processes: an extremely old person is not the same mentally or physically as a new-born baby. But growing up and growing old could be thought of as growing into and growing out of life. This would give us an analogue theory of life and death: there is a continuum between life and death. Life is not all-or-nothing, there are degrees of life; at some times in our life we are more alive than at other times. We’d all agree that at some times of the day (or night) we are more alive than others. But to assert that some people are more alive than others is a political bombshell. However, whether we like or not, the future reality where the majority of us die demented or cognitively impaired will force new concepts of life and death upon us.

Later in the book, he applies this analog theory to the concept of self. Our cells, organs, etc. are constantly dying off and being regenerated over a lifetime, like a wave that is made up of different water molecules as it advances. In our culture, we've always thought of the "self" as a kind of unchanging spiritual essence that stays constant throughout life and survives in eternity in some sort of afterlife. His theory suggests that the self is just as fluid and ever-changing as the body or the degree of being alive.

All of the memories of every experience we've ever had affects the chemistry of our brains, wiring them differently for each individual. Neurons die or get pruned constantly--there's no way we could remember everything that's ever happened to us. The very act of calling up a memory changes the neural pathway where it's stored. The life experiences/memories that make you unique are therefore constantly changing--it's just usually so gradual you don't notice it.

Are you really the same self at 80 as you were as a baby? This makes sense to me, but seeing it spelled out like that made me sort of uncomfortable. The "self" is such a big deal in our culture. Paul has read the book too, and we're trying to figure out what actually constitutes the "self."

Back After 2 Years!

2010-08-25T18:14:00.003-04:00

During this last few days before school starts again, I just read everything I've ever posted on this blog. It was very entertaining, and reminded me of some of the things going on in my life that I would have forgotten otherwise. Haven't posted here in forever. Tried to sign in here a couple of nights ago and found myself locked out, but somehow managed to get in today.

I've been using Facebook since May 2008 for connecting and keeping up with friends and family. It has many advantages--I'm more likely to post something when it has to be under 450 characters or so--but once it scrolls off the page, it eventually disappears. Now that I know I can include anything I post here as a link there, I may use this to post things going on here that are longer than a status update.

Here's what's up in my life right now:

School: 3 years down, 1 year left to go for my Associates in Accounting. Only 3 classes left,at least 2 of which will be very hard. I've kept up a 4.0 GPA all this time. Lots of nights at the computer until 2:30 a.m., spending 12+ hours per week on each 4 credit-hour class. Other than school breaks, I've had many months with virtually no life at all. It's nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel!
Work: still at CWRU, Windsong, and the UU Society. This summer, I started working for Cleveland City Dance. I really enjoy the atmosphere there. I'm just so happy to be back at a ballet school again. I'll be back there after Labor Day, maybe as much as 3 days/week, depending on enrollment. That's as much as I had the year before last at Gladisa's, before I lost that job.
Home: Paul and I just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary. I never know what we're going to talk about at the dinner table, just that it will be interesting. Last night, we talked about the mole measurement in chemistry, the history of the periodical table, stupid right-wing beliefs, and Eastern vs. Western ideas of the nature of the self.
My gradual slide into lax eating behavior over the past 1-1/2 years. I got so sick of anal-retentively logging all of my food and activity. Thank God for Lycra in all my clothes is all I'm going to say. Ugh, though. I look a little "round" in recent photos. I'm gonna have to lose this and get back on the wagon, but I'm not quite ready to do what it takes. I think I've gained back about 15 pounds (not that I would know for sure, not having stepped on a scale for weeks).

Well, I'm off to a meeting at the UU to plan the choir schedule and discuss other choir-related concerns before rehearsals start up again this Sunday. I have really enjoyed the summer break from choir. I am kind of burned-out, as I come for the rehearsals on a volunteer basis, which doesn't feel optional. I have feedback I want to share about time management of rehearsals, picking of music that's appropriate for the limited skill level of the choir, etc. I don't want to sound like I'm just bitching and complaining, so I'll have to think of a constructive way to frame it.

Mouchie's New Bedtime Ritual

2008-08-08T17:15:00.003-04:00

Some of you may recall a really annoying habit of Mouchie's I posted about in the spring. For a while, I had an evening routine of piling 3 cardboard boxes in front of the front door to keep him from peeing there overnight/before breakfast. As the weather got hotter and he became less active, I stopped putting the boxes down, and for about 3 blissful weeks he didn't do it. But then he started again. And then he did it on the floor next to the boxes. Evidently, it's not just a springtime habit any more. We have come to the realization that the only solution is to keep him out of the space all night, every night, no matter what.

I felt bad the first night I shut him up in the laundry room. Everything he needs is in there--dry food, water, kitty carrier/bed, litterbox (and only bare floor), but I felt like I was shutting him in prison for the night. He wasn't too happy at first and tried to bolt for the door. But now that this has been the new routine for a month, he is very accepting of it. And it certainly has solved the problem. As a bonus, overnight yack attacks are confined to the bare floor, making clean-up much easier. Although once he barfed on top of the washing machine, necessitating both horizontal and vertical clean-up, but it was still easier than carpet.

A part of me still feels bad having to restrict his freedom. I had a dream once that I put him inside an empty plastic milk jug which I then put into the refrigerator. I spent the rest of the dream worrying that he couldn't breathe, and that I wouldn't be able to get him out through that narrow little opening.

Grown-Up Clothes

2008-08-08T16:57:00.003-04:00

For all these years, I've gotten away with these three looks for every job I've ever had:

Weekend/Casual
Church/Wedding
Concert/Evening Wear

Never in my life have I ever had occasion to wear a suit. I had a special audition yesterday where none of the above looks would cut it, so Wednesday I went to the Ann Taylor store and bought this outfit, minus the scarf. I even got the slacks hemmed 1-1/2 inches so they would be the perfect length. I certainly wasn't overdressed, and now I can think of all kinds of occasions I could wear this.

Ace

2008-07-16T22:45:00.000-04:00

What a great feeling. For my second big math test, I took two days to study. I finished it in an hour and 10 minutes and got 100%!!

We have a project for class in the form of a short play, a murder mystery. The point is to use a formula and logarithms to figure out whodunit. It's not due until the 24th, but I (fortunately) started it on Monday. After 4 hours, my brain hurt. I know I did something wrong because when I plugged in the known times and cooling dead body temperatures that were given to us, it didn't add up with the formula I came up with. So I knew it wouldn't be right to derive the unknown time. My dreams that night were about frustration and failing to get it (not fun).

I was able to get a hint from Mike (my prof) in class, not enough to give me the answer but at least enough to know where I started going wrong. Tonight, in only an hour, I solved it!! (This equation is nothing like anything in the book, so required some thinking outside the box and some trial and error.) Boy, that sure does feel good.

MAAATH!

2008-07-01T22:32:00.000-04:00

You know how sometimes a funny comic sticks in your mind for years? This one cracked us up when we first saw it in the Funny Times:

We started saying, "Darwin!" "E=MC squared!" "Chaos Theory!" and other assorted silliness, leering at each other at the dinner table, etc. Paul's favorite reference to this comic is, "Maaaath!"

Since June 10, I have been devoting a lot of time to my college algebra homework. The summer session crams 16 weeks worth of material into an 8-week period. That means for a 4-credit-hour class, I need to devote16 or more hours a week to homework and study time, as opposed to 8.

During the 4-week break between school sessions, did I spend any time whatsoever reviewing basic algebra concepts? Had I done any reviewing besides last year's 10 days devoted to improving my score on the math assessment test? Of course not! No one else in the class has gone 27 years since Algebra 2. I was a little overwhelmed by the pace at first, and had no idea where to start when the class was given an example problem to work out. Couldn't remember how to factor a polynomial to save my life. Uh-oh, I thought. Will it even be possible for me to get an A in this class?

By the end of the first week I was hitting the books for several hours a day most days. My math mind is officially back in shape now. When I'm working out a problem, time has no meaning. I occasionally look up at the clock in the middle of my homework, surprised to see that 2 hours have passed when it feels like 15 minutes. Paul will leave to teach his class, saying, "I see you're doing MAAATH!" and I'll still be at it when he comes home.

I have to stop no later than 11:30 pm though. Otherwise my brain is still racing and I can't calm down and go to sleep until after 2 am. My dreams have been full of graphs and functions and numbers. That means it's sinking in.

I spent about 7 hours studying for the first test (last Thursday). It really took that long. There is just so much information, like a foreign language I'm not quite fluent in. We had 2 hours to take the test, and I finished in an hour and 20 minutes. I felt pretty good about it. Today we got the tests back, and I got a 96 on it!

I sure like MAAATH a lot more than English Composition.

Finally!

2008-06-22T23:41:00.001-04:00

Yesterday afternoon we finally were able to bring our new car home, as the check came on Friday. It's been 18 years since I've financed a car, and boy, how things have changed. It took us over two hours to apply for credit, get our credit checked, fill out paperwork, and swim through a mind-boggling array of extra options related to extended warranties, maintenance plans and various anti-theft coverage. Suffering from information overload, we said we would need to take a couple of days to talk it over as far as the extra stuff. I've always heard that extended warranty coverage is a ripoff, and I want the chance to do some online research so we can decide if it's a good use of money. We already own half of the car outright. Not as good as buying it with cash, but we think it's important to leave something in the savings account.

The car is beautiful. Paul let me be the one to drive it the 4 miles home, while he followed in the old car. It's so brand-spanking new, the odometer was still in the single digits. I drove like a little old lady, gently and carefully. Originally I had planned to drive it to my restaurant gig in North Royalton, where I was subbing for someone, but I hadn't added it to the insurance policy yet, and I just felt like it was tempting fate to drive it on the freeway in the pouring rain when I'm still learning my way around it. (I did have time to add it today, so we're free and clear to drive it now.)

We sure are a couple of cautious old farts. "So what's the first thing you did with your new car?"

"Well, we drove it home and then left it in the garage for 2 days." Well, better boring than sorry.

Car Purchase in Progress

2008-06-16T16:26:00.000-04:00

We did get a chance to test drive the Fit last Tuesday evening. The dealer had one base model in stock in Tidewater Blue (our first color choice). It has a tiny, but zippy engine, and has the feel of a high-quality entry level vehicle, comparable to a new Civic but a little less low-riding. The only thing we don't like so much is the small view through the rear window. Compared to what we're used to, it's like looking through the small end of a telescope. Because of this, the blind spots are slightly bigger. Everything else about it is so much just what we want that we are willing live with that and rely a bit more on turning our heads and using the side mirrors.

They have installed the options we've asked for, a keyless entry system and a cargo cover for the back. The car is all ready to go. We're just waiting for the check from our investment savings account to be processed, which we will use as our down payment. Since this involved selling some securities, it's not exactly instant access to our money. (I sent the authorization form last Thursday morning and the check couldn't be processed until today.) Patience, patience. We are so fortunate that our schedules allow us to share my Civic without much inconvenience in the meantime.

Baby's First Bifocals

2008-06-13T11:44:00.000-04:00

Lately I've noticed my reading focus is stating to waver. Last year, it only happened when wearing contacts (not glasses), but now it happens with the glasses, too. Last June, I had a little bifocal added to my prescription, but I didn't buy new glasses and let it slide another year. I knew it would just keep getting worse for a while anyway.

So last week I had my annual eye exam and sprung for the bifocals this time. It's the mildest prescription available (+100, sort of a training bra for bifocals), but I still decided on the progressive lenses. I don't want a stark line in the middle of my lenses. Not only is it ugly and granny-looking, but it makes it a lot harder to see! Add in anti-glare surface, anti-scratch coating, etc. and they set me back quite a bit, even with the 30% AAA discount.

Not to mention the frames. I tried on at least 10 frames. Didn't have a clue how they looked on me since I couldn't see, so the salesperson took pictures of me wearing them so I could at least have some idea how they look. Of course, the one I liked the best was the first one I tried on and the most expensive. Oh well, still cheaper than 2 years' worth of contacts. Here's a picture of my frames:

I had to wait 8 days (not exactly glasses in an hour--I think those days, like those of filing the 1040-EZ tax form, are now behind me forever). I just got them yesterday. It is much easier to read and do homework. The computer and reading music at the piano will take a little getting used to, since that's an intermediate distance. I can see clearly at all distances now (yay!) but to do so, now I have to tilt my head up and down until I'm looking through the appropriate part of the lenses. They're not that different, but it is noticeable. There is some distortion at the outer edges, so if I want to see something clearly to the side, I must turn my head. I have a little bit of a headache and it feels like I'm looking at the world underwater through a thick scuba mask.

We Need a New Car!

2008-06-06T14:27:00.001-04:00

Paul, hurrying to get to his Aikido teaching last Sunday, had a fender bender for the first time in his life. No one was hurt and no air bags deployed, but his hood got crunched, grill destroyed and headlights shattered. Although the hood now wouldn't open, he was able to drive home. Fortunately, he still has collision coverage. He made an appointment for Monday morning with State Farm's authorized repair facility, which happens to be in walking distance and on the way to work. The estimated repair cost--$2200--sure isn't pretty, but we both agreed, you can't buy a replacement car as dependable as his for that.

Then came the bad news on Wednesday. State Farm declared his car a total loss since it's only worth about 3 grand. So now he has two choices: 1) surrender the title to State Farm and they will take possession of the car in exchange for a check of about $2700 or 2) keep the car, whose title is now officially invalid and follow whatever legal procedures necessary to get it reapproved by the state of Ohio. Basically, it was a choice between taking the money to put toward a new car or jumping through hoops, with no guarantee of success, for an 11-year-old car with 155,000 miles on it. Hmmmm.

It wasn't too difficult to decide that I would spend my (now copious) free time yesterday researching what is out there as far as economical choices for new or gently used cars. I haven't car shopped for 8 years. Prices certainly have gone up. If you want something that will be dependable for 10 years, $10K isn't enough anymore. I am happy with my 10-year-old Civic, though I do miss the hatchback for ease of transporting the occasional 3-dimensional large object (like a bike or a full-sized keyboard). Paul and I both want the same things in a new car, which made it really easy to narrow it down.

Requirements:

Average fuel economy not below 30mpg. Even when gas was $1.00/gal, this was a non-negotiable for both of us. We've both driven subcompact gas-sippers for our entire adult lives, whether it was trendy or not.
Long-term reliability for the lowest price possible. Minimum 10 years. We like not having a car payment. I haven't had one for 8 years and he hasn't had one for 7. You do have to spend some money to get a car that will last, but we'd like to keep it down. I love the idea of a hybrid, but it's just too expensive, and then you have to think about battery disposal and replacement costs someday, and I bet it's thousands. If you don't drive that many miles, it's just not worth it.
A hatchback with space to carry bulky items would be my dream. But still a subcompact with high MPG.

Fortunately (in a way), there are only a few models out there that meet all of my criteria. I plowed through a lot of ads, specs, reviews and message board discussions and came up with a winner--the Honda Fit. After talking with Paul and sleeping on it, I feel even more confident today that this is what we want. We've scheduled our first dealership visit for late this afternoon. I have another one in the works, through AAA, early next week.

I hate the thought of having to spend $15-16K at a time we didn't choose to replace Paul's car, but quality up front saves money and headaches later. At least we can survive as a one-car household for weeks if we need to, since I am underemployed for the summer and he only needs the car when I don't.

I Am a Poor Multi-Tasker

2008-05-26T13:46:00.000-04:00

I am one of those people who can't hold a conversation and do much of anything else at the same time. If someone's talking to me while I drive, I miss exits and make wrong turns. If I'm on the phone and someone in the room starts talking to me at the same time, all I hear is white noise--zero comprehension of either conversation.

It's the worst when I'm doing something I'm used to doing in solitude, like putting together my breakfast. I like to eat old-fashioned oatmeal with cinnamon, molasses and a big handful of walnuts every morning. I also enjoy the convenience of fixing and eating breakfast in less than 5 minutes so I can sleep as late as possible. Needless to say, this requires a system. Every Saturday morning, I cook up 7 servings of oatmeal, putting 6 of them in single-serving plastic containers for the rest of the week. All I have to do is empty a container's contents into a bowl, chop it into bite-sized pieces with a spoon (it tends to solidify), stick it in the microwave for 1 minute, and voila--instant breakfast.

Yes, I have noticed the uncanny resemblance that my daily molded plop of refrigerated oatmeal has to my cat Mouchie's breakfast. The main differences are that mine 1) smells better and 2) is a bigger portion.

Yesterday morning I was talking to Paul while rinsing out Mouchie's dish and wiping it out with a napkin. I got out my oatmeal, and, I kid you not, came this close to plopping it into Mouchie's dish. Would have done it if Paul hadn't stopped me!

Sephora Splurge! (Girly Stuff)

2008-05-22T20:11:00.003-04:00

After rehearsal, I rode my bike out to Beachwood Place to blow the rest of my tips at the Sephora store. I was already planning to get Philosophy's Microdelivery Peel, since I'm almost out. I love that stuff--I've been using it for about 3 1/2 years and it really makes a huge difference. Very pricey ($65!) but it lasts over a year. I decided to count that as money I would have spent anyway (rationalize, rationalize) so I spent the rest of my cash stash on some new, sparkly eye shadow (I got #926, "sparkly beige"--yes, even on a splurge, I'm practical!), a sealer to make any powder eye shadow waterproof, and a little set of nice shadow applicators. I'm really picky about makeup colors. They have to be not too orange, not too brown, not too blue/purple, and not overpower my coloring. That was fun!

The Most Convenient Flat Tire Ever

2008-05-21T14:50:00.002-04:00

I've been saving my cash tips from Stages since January,and I was originally going to blow all $137 of it at the Sephora store, but decided instead to visit the bike store out in South Euclid to get some gear that would help me feel safer when riding on the 99.99999999% of Cleveland roads without bike lanes.

I got out of rehearsal early last night and rode out Mayfield road to the store (it's about 6 miles from our house). Strangely, there was no bike rack to park when I got there, so I locked it up to a stair railing, a rather awkward enterprise. I was inside, ready to buy a white mesh high-visiblity vest, some white reflective tape for my (black) backpack, and a rearview mirror that needed to be installed on my left handlebar.

When asked if I were "handy," I admitted I was not and that I would be happy to pay them the $6.50 installation fee. So we went to retrieve my bike. The guy noticed my rear tire was almost flat, much to my disbelief (I had just pumped them up), but lo and behold, it certainly was. Evidently, I had run over and embedded a metal spike right through the tire on my way there, and it was (of course) in the back wheel, the one with all those fun gears. Lucky, lucky me! Of course, this is guaranteed to happen sooner or later, and I can't think of a more convenient time it could have happened. They changed and replaced it while I waited. I suppose I should learn how to do that myself, since it won't always be this convenient.

I feel a lot safer now, and I still have $50 left over to spend at Sephora.

Yess!

2008-05-16T16:33:00.000-04:00

I did it--just found out--I got straight A's. Yippee!! And in the English course I have the full breakdown online--an average of 96%. I worked so hard for that. I swear, 16th-century counterpoint was easier for me. I'm also thrilled to get an A in accounting--it is, after all, my major. Here's my progress so far: 16 credit hours earned. 4.00 GPA. After the summer, when I'll finally take that College Algebra class in person, I will have earned 20 credit hours out of 72 needed--slightly more than 1/4 of the way through. My goal: 4.0 all the way.

Needless to say, I have been celebrating all week with a spectacular spree of non-productivity. I went to the public library to check out books to read just for fun (I've read about 500 pages since Monday) and a daytime trip to the Cedar Lee to see Note by Note, the movie about the making of one particular Steinway concert grand piano from start to finish. Making a piano is extremely intricate--it's all handmade and takes about a year. The craftspeople interviewed took great pride in their work. Interspersed were segments of pianists, from concert artists to students, speaking with passion on what they seek in a piano and on how music connects people and takes them out of themselves. I loved it. There were only about five other people in my 2:15 p.m. Monday showing. It was fun to chat afterwards. The movie only showed for a week, and I'm glad I didn't miss it.

Well, speaking of piano, it's time for me to finally get off my butt and start cleaning up my piano arrangement of Eine Kleine Nachtmusik for the Cleveland School of Dance year-end performance that is 8 days away. I don't have the excuse of homework any more.

At Semester's End

2008-05-07T12:28:00.000-04:00

Hi, I'm back.

Wow, has this been a tough month. But school is almost over--tonight I have my accounting final and Monday my final term paper for English is due, and that's it. I feel relaxed now because I'm ahead of the game.

For accounting, I've never missed a class, never been late with a homework assignment, participated in class probably more than anyone else in the class, and spent 6 hours studying for the final yesterday so I could let the information sink in overnight and then just review today. Underemployment certainly has its upside--my job at Case is over until the end of August, which gives me my mornings and early afternoons back, so I've had luxuriously huge amounts of time to devote to schoolwork just when all the final projects come due.

Last week wasn't too fun, as I spent at least 20 hours (not that I actually counted) cranking out the "rough draft" of my English term paper, which was due Sunday. I put that in quotes because I am almost fundamentally incapable of doing anything in rough draft form, at least if anyone else is going to see it. I go straight from nothing to final polished product. In this online class, I know that not only the professor but all of my fellow students can read and comment on everything I write, so I always want it to be my best. And in making it my best, of course what happened is that I finished it. It's even over the minimum page limit already so I won't have to add material just to make it long enough. I'm sure I'll be changing something for my final version, but I bet it won't take 20 hours.

I really, really want to get straight A's. I've worked so hard.

Not a Pretty Seasonal Transition

2008-03-30T15:58:00.003-04:00

I have to say, this is one of my least favorite times of year. The weather mostly sucks. We still have a few filthy mounds of snow from the storm I wrote about three weeks ago. Wet, mud, and/or slush seem to be the most prominent features of "spring" so far. I thought surely the crocuses must be up by now, and took a walk up Hessler Street to check them out the other day. Not a one. Not even the greens yet. Just a few hardy snowdrops. Usually the crocuses are about spent by now and the daffodils are about to explode. It looks like the snowiest March on record has slowed down our already typically late start to spring.

The semester is almost two thirds over--only 6 weeks to go. I am enjoying the Financial Accounting class, but I have to say, the next College Composition class I take will not be the honors one. I am doing extremely well--my grade is a 95.77 so far--but, boy, do I ever have to work for it. I am still a slow writer. The assignments are getting harder and harder, so I never get any faster. The last one was the worst. I had to read several esoteric literary criticisms on Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, most of which were so dense I had to read them all 5-6 times before I could even begin to understand their arguments. Then I had to pick one and write an essay on my take on their arguments, backed up with plenty of evidence from multiple sources. Ack. Easter was not fun. In fact, as Borat would say, writing it was major "pain in my assholes," as I described it to Paul. As a small comfort, my classmates also had a hard time with it and we were able to commiserate online. I actually did very well on mine, finally scoring a perfect 10 for the first time in this class. The discussion afterwards was actually exhilarating, and I made a really good comment in support of the value of literary criticism. Prof. Panza quoted my comment in one of his online announcements to the class, which made me feel pretty great.

Things are getting better. Sure signs of spring:

I was able to ride my bike to church today, since it was above 35 and not raining!
It's not pitch-black at 8 pm anymore.
Spring concert rehearsal season is in full swing,

and

Mouchie has taken to peeing on the floor in front of the front door again.

Ugh, ugh, ugh. As if "yack season*" weren't bad enough. I have no idea why he feels so compelled to do this. Every. Single. Spring. It's not marking behavior. He was neutered at 4 months, and it's only on the floor (not the wall). We actually use the front door multiple times a day, so if he thinks I'll give in and put another litterbox there, well, sorry, ain't happening. I've tried tinfoil and a carpet runner with the pointy side up. Supposedly, cats don't like walking on those surfaces, but he just brazenly pees on it. It only makes my clean-up job harder. Pet repellents and "training aids," both the clove- or citrus-scented organic and the nuclear-waste chemical varieties, have absolutely no effect on him. Even serving his food there won't stop him from peeing less than 12 inches away from the food dish.

Last year, I bought a heavy rubber front porch mat from the hardware store that had such a strong chemical smell it almost knocked us out. That really worked, and I thought I had fixed this for good. Apparently, the smell has faded to the point of losing its repellent power. There must be something about the changing light or the sound of the birds that brings out this lovely behavior. He only does it in the early morning before I get up to feed him. I wish I could booby-trap the area to dump water and/or make a nasty noise only when HE enters it, not when we do.

One thing that did work for 3 days last week: I put up a cheap wooden baby gate in front of the stairs, but that's not all. He can leap over it easily enough, so I got a large blanket out and draped it over the railing, clipping it in place to make the barrier too high and deep for him to penetrate. He foiled me yesterday morning, though. All the papers from the ledge over the stairs were scattered in the stairwell by the front door, and there was the puddle of pee. My barrier was untouched. The little stinker had used his acrobatic skills (which I had sorely underestimated) to leap down and then up several feet because he really wanted to pee there. This morning, Paul got up at 7:30 and put him out on the deck, which solved the problem for today, but only works if the weather is decent. I am running out of ideas.

Maybe I should go to the hardware store and buy a big-ass piece of thin plywood, big enough to reach from the top of the stairs to to door, and just lay it down over the entire area at night. If the entire surface is at a 45-degree angle,with no toeholds, may that will render it sufficiently unpleasant for him. I'd hate to have to shut him in the downstairs family room all night, every night, but that's the next step if this doesn't work, and if I do that, he might find some even more unpleasant way of showing us what he thinks of that idea. Any of you cat people have any advice?

*Yack season: that lovely time of year when we shed our winter coats and leave a lovely upchucked surprise on the floor (carpet only) several times a week.

"Spring" Break

2008-03-08T14:50:00.002-05:00

I just finished my eighth essay and quiz for English, so at long last feel entitled to enjoy a well-deserved (and much needed) spring break for an entire week. I've been using this blog as a reward every time I finish one, but last week I was just so sick of writing. I felt as mentally constipated as if I had eaten nothing but white bread for a month, metaphorically speaking. Monday I had a really hard test in accounting that literally made my brain ache afterwards. I am so ready for a break!

So here I am, sitting at home on this early March day, listening to the sweet strains of someone's snow blower....or is it the wheels of their subcompact spinning in futility, as they attempt to drive down our impassable street? You see, we are in the middle of a blizzard, the worst snowstorm Cleveland has seen in 15 years (so I hear). We have at least a foot of snow on the ground, with drifts of up to three feet, and it's not supposed to stop until sometime late tonight. Winter is getting really old. It doesn't help that this is the third (and worst) storm we've had in a space of 12 days.

Needless to say, I didn't have to go to work this morning. I don't even have my Stages gig tonight--the restaurant is closed because the Cleveland Playhouse canceled its performances tonight. The whole world is closed today--even the libraries and banks!

Wanna see our lovely weather warning?

HEAVY SNOW WILL CONTINUE THROUGH THE REMAINDER OF THE AFTERNOON
HOURS...WITH BLIZZARD CONDITIONS AT TIMES. SNOWFALL RATES IN
HEAVIER SNOW BANDS WILL CONTINUE TO APPROACH AN INCH PER HOUR.
WINDS GUSTING TO 30 MPH AT TIMES WILL CAUSE VISIBILITIES TO DROP
BELOW ONE QUARTER OF A MILE ALONG WITH CONSIDERABLE BLOWING AND
DRIFTING OF SNOW. THIS...IN COMBINATION WITH ROADS THAT HAVE NOT
BEEN PLOWED WILL MAKE FOR NEAR IMPASSABLE CONDITIONS.

I went outside the front of our house to take a couple of pictures. Here's the view down our street:

I am so glad Paul canceled his classes today, and neither of us has to drive anywhere. Even the SUVs are sliding and fishtailing all over the place.

Here's the front of our house. That's Tom on the left. He may be shoveling, but I wouldn't dream of bothering until it's all over.

So I've lost a day's pay today. It doesn't really bother me. I have no control over it, and sometimes life is out of your control. It's times like this that I am so glad we live close to everything. We live within 2 miles of 3 grocery stores, and 3 miles from church. I may need to walk to church tomorrow! Fortunately, yesterday I had the foresight to stop at the Food Co-Op to pick up a few ingredients for broccoli macaroni and cheese so we can eat well tonight without having to go anywhere. Stay warm, everyone!

Digging Deep: The Semiotics of Snow Shoveling

2008-02-25T23:51:00.000-05:00

Sounds like an essay title, doesn't it? I bet you can tell what I've been spending a lot of my time doing. Much as I bitch and moan about having to grind out a new essay every single week, to be posted online for all in the class to read and critique (so it better not suck), I have been getting a lot out of the class. Even my everyday thoughts are going in new directions. We've spent a month analyzing the semiotics of popular culture (in other words, the underlying meanings beneath things), so I find myself thinking about these things during my everyday life.

Consider snow shoveling. On the surface, it's usually thought of as just a (somewhat annoying, time-consuming) chore that it would be nice not to have to do or have to pay someone else to do. (Here's where my thoughts on consumption come in.) I hate paying someone else to do it. I remember when I first moved here, someone with a shovel rang our doorbell and offered to shovel the driveway. I said, "Sure," thinking he was a staff member of the town house association and it was included in our fee. When he finished and asked for money, I was kind of annoyed at myself for assuming. If I had known I would have to pay, I would have just said no thanks.

Every winter since, enterprising people, mostly young men, have tromped up our steps (packing down the snow with their boots, making it harder for me to shovel it later) to ring the doorbell and ask if we wanted shoveling. I got tired of either saying no or pretending I wasn't home.

Clearly, it was time to make a sign so they wouldn't bother us. It would be great if the sign would also discourage aggressive sales people and religious proselytizers (who annoy me even more). I fantasized about saying something like, "No selling. No snow shoveling. No evangelizing. Don't even ask. It's a standing 'no' and will always be a 'no.'" But that just seemed a tad too unwelcoming sounding to post on our front door, so I settled for a polite, "Please No Soliciting."

Unfortunately, the doorbell just keeps on ringing. Now I just find it annoying that either 1) people don't bother to look and read it, or 2) they don't know the meaning of the word "soliciting." I have been known to (politely) come down to answer the door, call their attention to the sign and explain that we don't want to be bothered, even though I may be seething with annoyance inside.

Before I got so busy, I used to have tons of time in the middle of the day to preemptively get the shoveling done before the entrepreneurs started their rounds. I actually like doing it; 1) it's functional fitness in action and 2) I can get a workout and avoid paying money at the same time--what's not to love?

Our next-door neighbor, Tom, is sometimes home in the middle of the day. (He's maybe in his mid-thirties with a high-powered wife and two little kids.) I think he feels rather strongly that shoveling is men's work, and he thinks it's odd that I'm the one doing it (and not Paul). On those few occasions that we're shoveling at the same time, he'll say something like,"What are you, Wonder Woman or something? I never see him doing it." I always explain that I consider it to be part of my fitness regimen and I'm happy to do it because I'm the one who has the time, but he'll say something like that every time without fail, as if we never had the conversation.

I think my conscientiousness brings out his competitive instincts. If I do it by mid-afternoon, his is done by 5 pm. If I don't have time for a day or two, oddly enough, he'll be content to let it wait at least 24 hours. It snowed on Thursday last week and I didn't have time to deal with it until Saturday afternoon. Tom had done his by Friday morning. We decided to let him revel in his victory. Paul and I find this dynamic endlessly amusing. As Paul said, "Well, now I can't ever do it because then we would be playing appropriate gender roles." We both agree that wouldn't be any fun.

What a Card

2008-02-17T16:47:00.001-05:00

We celebrated Valentine's Day in our customary way. I made heart-shaped cookies with strawberry-rhubarb jam in the middle, as I have for all of our Valentine's Days since we've been together. No mere homework was going to prevent me from finding the time! (A couple of snow days last Monday and Tuesday, a gift from the universe, sure helped make it easier.)

Paul made a Wednesday trip to the West Side Market for fresh flowers and salmon. On Thursday evening, Valentine's Day, I came home to find him cooking Andrew Weill's recipe for easy poached salmon, the first thing he ever cooked for me almost six years ago. We dined on my heirloom china by candlelight, listening to the same Sinatra CD that was our soundtrack on our first Valentine's Day five years ago, when he proposed. We then watched a movie on DVD (cleverly combining my required movie viewing for this week's essay with the pleasure of watching a romantic comedy with my sweetie) and then went to bed early. Predictable? Perhaps, but we wouldn't have it any other way.

We don't do gifts on demand (Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's Day, etc.). Why not just opt out of that tangled web of obligation, pressure, and analysis of what-is-this-person-trying-to-say-by-
choosing-to-give-me-this-particular-object? I always tell Paul that he's got a lifetime A+ from me :-) No need to continually pass more tests and jump through hoops just so that I might deign to "renew his license" in the In Karin's Good Graces Club.

He did surprise me that evening with a really sweet card that had a great story. The story just makes it. Let me set the scene for you. It's Wednesday night, February 13, in the holiday/seasonal aisle at the Rite-Aid Drug Store. The red and pink bags and heart-shaped boxes of candy appear as though a natural disaster has just passed through, followed by looters and scavengers bent on survival.

The shelf of Valentine's Day cards is in a similar state. Now we know the card selection at the drugstore is never the greatest to begin with, but the pickings are mighty slim by Valentine's Eve. If you limit yourself to cards meant to be given to a female significant other, your options are truly pathetic.

In one corner, you have the "humorous" cards. This can communicate such tender sentiments as "You're a saint for putting up with my habit of [leaving dirty socks on the floor/laying around on the couch, belching Dorito breath, bellowing like a walrus at the game/insert other clueless, boorish, "male Neanderthal stereotype" behavior here] and once a year I'll tell you how much I love you because Hallmark expects me to." Be still my heart.*

Alternatively, there are the ones with pages of purple poetry in Italic Script. At least the guy is trying, but it's not like he would ever say such things if they weren't pre-printed. It's more about what he thinks she wants to hear.

Paul, realizing this wasn't looking promising, expanded his field of card candidates to the ones in the "To My Husband" category. (This explained why the back story was necessary.) He was just looking for one that was sincere and direct. I guess the card industry thinks that only a woman would want to give a card that simply says "I Love You" without a joke to diffuse the awkwardness. The inside of the card says, "Saying it a million times still wouldn't be enough. Happy Valentine's Day to My Wonderful ~~Husband~~ Karin! We laughed a lot when he told the story. It's really sweet and I'm a lucky woman. :-)

*What is it with American wives' seeming obsession with their men leaving dirty socks on the floor? Even Michelle Obama mentions it as one of Barack's annoying habits. Articles like this really bug me too. Are most married people in America really relating to their spouses at this level?

Too Much of a Perfectionist?

2008-02-11T10:14:00.000-05:00

I've just had a hellishly busy week. Since last Monday morning, I have put in the following homework and study time:

4 hours studying for accounting exam
8 hours over 3 days on accounting homework (having to do it in Excel, as opposed to pencil and paper, takes considerably longer)
3.5 hours watching 2 out of the 3 movies I need to use as sources for this week's English essay
2 hours reading and studying the reference essays for last week's essay
2 hours mulling over last week's essay assignment, figuring out what to say, and looking up more citation sources online
5 hours writing last week's essay
1.5 hours reading everyone else's essays and essay responses on the online message board
2.5 hours composing my own (required) essay responses

Let's see, that adds up to...
28.5 hours spent on schoolwork alone, not counting 3 hours commuting time and 4 hours class time for attending my accounting class. Holy crap. Put it all together, and that's more time than I spent on my paid work.

I like getting A's. (Not surprisingly, I'm getting A's so far in both classes.) I did have time to have somewhat of a life for 3 of the last 7 nights, although it was a challenge which involved staying up until at least 1 :30 am much of the time. At the rate I'm going, it will probably take me at least 3 1/2 more years, including summers, to finish the degree. Is this kind of a life worth it for such a long time?

Yesterday at church, my friend Joy said I was too much of a perfectionist. She had learned for herself, after hard experience, that it was better to just pass the classes so you could have a life. No prospective employer, she says, will care what your grades were. B's are good enough. But I haven't reached the point of being willing to settle just yet. I'm not trying to juggle this with motherhood, as she did. (I can't imagine motherhood being any easier than my life right now.) This is hard but not impossible. Paul is really supportive, even though it means we have less time together in the short term.

4-Eyes 4-Ever

2008-02-04T16:27:00.001-05:00

I think my contact lens-wearing days are over. I opened and put in a new pair 3 weeks ago (January 11). Usually they're really comfortable for the first half of the month, but that day my eyes must have been especially dry or something. Add to that the fact that, when wearing my contacts, reading glasses are no longer optional.

Advantages to Contacts

Vanity
Unencumbered peripheral vision
No fingerprints, sweat, grime, fogging up

Disadvantages to Contacts

Dry eyes are uncomfortable
Dryness results in sometimes blurry vision, even distance vision
Pain in the butt factor: Cleaning, storage, making sure I always have supplies on me, etc.
I have to wear reading glasses. In other words, I can't see! Since, oh, I don't know, 90% of what I do involves close focus, why should I stick something in my eye if I'm going to be wearing glasses anyway?

Hmm. It seems the disadvantages significantly outweigh the advantages. I didn't even make it through the whole day on January 11 with the contacts. At about 3 pm, I took them out and didn't put them back in until this morning. They didn't even last an hour today--too uncomfortable. I don't think I'll even be wearing them for special occasions.

It's time to embrace my status as a proudly out, visually-challenged person. :-) I'm blind! I'm middle aged! I'm a nerd! Why present a false facade of normality anymore? Besides, I think these glasses are cute.

Looong Day at the Piano

2008-02-02T12:52:00.000-05:00

It looks like I'm now on the regular rotation at Stages. They want me every weekend! But two nights there back to back last weekend had the result of an achy back and glazed eyes staring at the computer writing my essay until 1 am both nights. Once in a while, okay, but this is no way to live! So this time, when offered both nights for the next month, I said I'd be delighted to do one night each weekend. So much more sane! I finished this week's essay last night so I don't have to work on it tonight at all.

Good thing, too. Here is my day today:

9:00-11:30 am--my usual two ballet classes at CSD , only an hour earlier than usual

1:45-5:00--back to CSD to play for the audition for the summer program at the School of American Ballet. If last year is any indication, 70 students will show up from all over the region, and it will be fast-paced and required me to be at my most quick-thinking.

I am then scheduled at Stages from 5:00-8:00. Yes, this means I will be late (which I hate). And I won't have time to eat anything save something portable I can inhale behind the wheel of my stick shift while hurtling down Carnegie Avenue (likewise).

Just think, I decided to go back to school because the jobs were thinning out and now look! Well, it does beat not having enough to do.

Prune Juice for my Writer's Block

2008-02-01T23:50:00.000-05:00

It's only the third week of school, and it's already hard. I'm taking Honors English Composition and having to write an essay every week, each one longer and better than the last. Do you know how long it's been since the last time I wrote an essay? About 25 years. 22 years since I've written any sort of term paper whatsoever. For over half my life, my skills, though still decent, have atrophied and slowed down like the heart muscle of a couch potato. Right now, it feels like I'm trying to run a mile when I should be starting with a walk around the block.

I'm just whining, really. I'm doing just fine, getting an A so far. It's just taking me forever to do the writing. A three credit-hour class is supposed to take about six hours of study and homework time per week, and this one is taking me at least twelve. We're writing on the semiotics of popular culture, which I really enjoy. I do have something to say--it just takes me a while to figure out what it is. Then I have to make it articulate, find and correctly cite references to back up my views, and tie the whole thing together coherently.

Three weeks (and three essays) in, I have increased my speed to about 100 words per hour. It's still a mighty effort, and I still feel mentally constipated, but even in casual conversation, my vocabulary seems sharper and I feel a little bit more articulate. Things are starting to "move along." :-)

Funny Post About a Piano-Shaped Object

2008-01-25T16:19:00.000-05:00

We pianists have the mixed blessing of not having to lug our instrument all over kingdom come to do a job. I say "mixed" because sometimes you have to deal with some exceptionally crappy instruments and just make the best of it. Slightly out of tune (or even moderately out of tune), I can deal with. Some things I've had to work around:

Sticking keys that don't release once you've played them. If you're lucky, the key might bounce back if you hit it sharply.
No damper pedal. Can you say "legato fingering?"
A key that, when depressed, sticks together with several of its neighbors who all come along for the ride. This happened to me during a performance in high school (it was in a mall and no one was listening, but still!) Fortunately it was all in the high register, so I just didn't use that octave for the rest of the performance.
And of course, the most common: one particular nasty out-of-tune note, the aural equivalent of moldy leftovers crawling with orange and green maggots and fungus. If I don't have a tuning wrench with me, as is usually the case, I just either 1) don't play anything that includes that note or 2) transpose everything to a key that doesn't include that note. This requires lightning-quick mental acrobatics and music theory geekiness, which keeps me on my toes, and isn't always successful.

One of my Windsong friends pointed me to this funny blog post by the pianist for the Bread and Roses Feminist Singers. She referred to this Piano From Hell as "the piano incarnation of Florence Foster Jenkins." Enjoy--it's hilarious!

( Go to Bread and Roses MySpace page and click on the blog entry called "In the Loosest Sense of the Word." Sorry about this indirect link. It wouldn't load when I tried to post it the normal way.)

High Notes

2008-01-24T00:04:00.000-05:00

I played for Windsong's winter concert this past Saturday, and we got a fabulous review on coolcleveland.com! Check it out--it's near the bottom of this page. One of our singers thanked the reviewer, and passed me along this excerpt from a follow-up email, which made my day:

Well, Karin is a treasure for anyone! She really understands collaborative piano, which all too few pianists really do!

It made my day. Besides, I just had to brag a little. ;-)

I also landed a temporary gig at Stages Restaurant at the Cleveland Playhouse, which just happens to be a 5-minute walk from our house. I play from 5-8 pm for the next 2 Friday and Saturday nights. My first night was last Friday. I had to put together a 3-hour playlist of mostly non-classical music, which took some hours, but now it's done and written down. I would have been lost without it, I can tell you! I actually have more than 3 hours' worth of music, probably 2/3 standards and show tunes. The piano there is beautiful and in tune, two things I never take for granted. I had a really good time, got lots of compliments from the diners, and forgot to take breaks! (I've got to remember to pace myself, though--my back and brain were pretty fatigued at the end of the evening and the whole next day!)

Who knows--maybe it will become a semi-regular gig. That would be great!

Holidays in Portland

2008-01-05T09:42:00.000-05:00

It's always "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" around here, as Paul and I have 2 birthdays, Christmas, and New Years all in a 12-day period. We had an evening, 5 jam-packed days, and a morning in Portland with my family. It was mostly a really lovely visit, and for once nobody got sick (at least so far).

Memorable moments:

Going to the NikeTown store to try on shoes with Eric and Rusty, who had given me a "design your own" gift card. What a fun idea! Wanna see what my future trainers will look like? They have a very girly color scheme! :=)

Mom's delicious soups! She had 3 kinds: squash (with a nice kick to it), ham and bean, and chicken noodle. She and Ron hosted a soup supper and invited Dad, Becky and Hannah. With Eric and Rusty, Paul and me, it was a full table, but we all fit.

Playing the bowling game on Hannah's brand new Wii with Hannah, Dad and Paul. I never play video games, so expected to suck, but I was pretty good and actually won!

Making candy cane cookies and watching "It's a Wonderful Life" with Dad, Hannah, Becky and Paul

Snowshoeing on Mt. Hood in a winter wonderland of snow that was almost warm enough to melt.

Becky's car's troubles stranding some of us in a restaurant for 3 hours waiting for a tow that never came. Fortunately our group had 3 cars and Gene came back to get us.
My birthday morning, low key, the only time I played the piano all week. Funny how when I don't see dancers I have a hard time thinking of things to play! Actually felt a bit self-concious as Dad and Hannah recorded me on their respective video cameras while sightreading. I was still playing when Mom came over to pick me up. I was sightreading one of Hannah's requests, a beautiful song her youth choir will be singing. I can't get it out of my mind. You can see it in this video.
Seeing Betsy, Tim, Annie & Mike and meeting Annie's young kids for the first time at her open house for the christening of her baby daughter Katherine. My "birthday cake" was a silver bowl full of chocolate truffles with one long, skinny candle sticking out. Loved it.

We went to the christening service a really cool jazz evening service with first rate jazz musicians. Haven't been to a Christian service in years, (opted out of reciting the Nicene creed along with the congregation) but felt pretty comfortable and was glad we went.

Afterwards we met my old friend Bob Litt and his wife Sonya at a wonderful Mexican restaurant for excellent, adventurous food and margaritas.

Rediscovering the "time capsule" box of my old treasures that has been lost in Mom's rafters for 25 years, which includes tons of old pictures and every diary I kept from ages 13-20. I mailed it to myself and it should get here by next Wednesday. I read one of the diaries and dreamt that I was in eighth grade again.

Lunch with Dietrich and his bride Lisa. This was great fun, as the essence of Dietrich has hardly changed in the 30 years I've known him. Lisa was really nice and down to earth. It was fun to hear the story of how they met (skinny-dipping while camping at a state fair!) We hung out for 3 hours and even had a little photo session:

A nice, quiet New Year's Eve hanging out with Mom & Ron watching the New York Philharmonic on TV. When Pink Martini came on at 11:30, Paul and I were inspired to do a rhumba and a cha-cha on the living room rug, much to Mom's delight! What a great band.

Milestones

2007-12-25T23:43:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas, everyone!

After 4 days of constant choir rehearsals and 3 services, we spent today at home just hanging out and getting ready for our trip to Portland tomorrow.

It's been a year of big milestones for my friends and family. In November, Eric had his 40th birthday, which we were sad to miss out on. We'll get to see him and Rusty in just a couple of days, though, as they're coming up to Portland as well.

Darcy had a baby on Dec. 18, a healthy boy named Benjamin Neal Lewellen. It sounds like she, David and little Ben are doing fabulously at home now.

On Dec. 20 Paul turned 50. He didn't want a big party, so I baked him his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies, which he loves more than any cake, and took him out for a nice dinner. I wrote out a list for him called 50 Things I Love About You. I could think of 35 separate things pretty quickly, but those last 15 took a bit more effort.

Just last Friday I finally heard from Dietrich, whom I haven't seen for 5 years. He just got married on the 15th, and he and his wife Lisa are in Portland right now. We've known each other for over 30 years, so it will be great to see them when we're out there. He emailed me a couple of pics from their wedding:

Back From Under a Rock

2007-12-21T23:27:00.000-05:00

I have fallen off the face of the earth for the past 4 months--sorry about that! I just got out of the habit of blogging. I kept a (pen and paper) travel journal during the entire Europe trip. (And took a lot of pictures. )I know how quickly memories fade and change and wanted to capture everything as it happened. I am a slow writer, and it sometimes took me 2 hours a day just to keep up. The thought of migrating even part of it over here just seemed overwhelming with school starting 2 days after we got back.

Oh yeah, school. At first a bit of a shock after a 20-year break from studying anything, I soon got in the groove as my semi-dormant nerd tendencies took over and I became the class smartypants in all 3 of my classes. Most of you with whom I've kept in touch know that I decided to postpone College Algebra until the summer, when I have time to take it with a live human being instead of online. I got hopelessly behind the first week (due to computer technical difficulties) and dropped it.

Everything else, though, I found very engaging, even the potentially boring Introduction to Business. I took my books with me to my job at Case so I could do homework during my 2-hour break there. Don't believe anybody who tells you community colleges give easy A's. I actually worked my butt off, sometimes working on the computer until 1 am (though I have to say less than perfect time management skills have something to do with that).

All of my classes were in subjects I knew next to nothing about, so I couldn't coast much on previous knowledge. I now know all the material in two 500-page textbooks and I've learned how to use Word, Excel, Access and PowerPoint. I set a high goal for myself, to ace everything, and got mid- to high-nineties on most of my exams. My last final was Dec. 19th. Tonight, via the MyTri-CSpace site, I learned officially that I got straight A's in everything. It's all the sweeter because I had to work hard for it.

Soon To Be an Ex-Europe-Virgin

2007-08-03T18:39:00.000-04:00

This trip that we've been anticipating for a year is finally almost upon us. In less than 48 hours, we'll be on a plane with only 1 carry-on bag and 1 small daypack each holding everything we'll need for the entire 3 weeks! We haven't even practiced packing yet. That will be tonight and tomorrow's project. I have been carefully considering how I can pare down the volume of what I consider to be essential stuff. We will be doing lots of laundry in sinks so we can pack minimal articles of clothing. The hair dryer, most of my liquid toiletries, and fat, heavy novel from the library aren't going to make the cut.

I'll bring a journal instead, so I can live more fully in the moment and give those memories maximum traction. We will be making room for the guidebook and phrasebook, of course. We will make a shopping trip tonight to get Paul some microfiber boxers (fast drying on the clothesline in the hotel), and maybe a jacket for me for hiking in the Swiss Alps, as everything I have is either too big or not warm enough.

One thing I will make room for, since I am currently clueless about it and need to know how to use it for my algebra class: my new graphing calculator and the book that will help me learn how to use it. I'll either learn something or it will help me sleep on the plane--either way, I win.

Yesss!

2007-07-24T18:07:00.000-04:00

I went in to take the mathematics assessment test today after a total of 10 days of study/review. It had everything on it from pre-algebra word problems (which I almost aced) through Trigonometry, which left me feeling quite humbled by my absolute cluelessness. But guess what? I placed at the college algebra level (a level above the minimal requirement for my accounting degree), so now I don't have to spend a semester and several hundred dollars of tuition just to catch up to where I should have been. Yay me!

I picked 3 classes from the first semester sequence* and registered and paid online. (Just in time, too--2 of them were already almost filled.) I'll be taking 10 credit hours starting August 27.

*College Algebra (I'll be taking the web-based course), Intro to Business, Business Math Applications

Meltdown

2007-07-24T17:49:00.000-04:00

Last Wednesday evening, while Paul was teaching his Aikido class, I opened the algebra book and began reading the definition of a function. It was hot in the room (82 degrees) and a little humid, but I hadn't minded it all day and was enjoying being cheap and saving on air conditioning costs. Now this was pretty abstract stuff and I had to read the paragraph over again. It made even less sense the second time. Oh no, I thought; it seemed I had slammed my intellect against the brick wall of its limitations. (And I had been doing so well until now, too!)

I started breaking a sweat as the words ran together on the page. It was suddenly unbearably hot in there. Then and there I gave up on economizing, slamming the windows shut and moving the AC from "off" to "cool." I couldn't believe how hot I was; I felt a little dizzy, almost feverish, and totally unable to string together a coherent thought. I was actually mopping my face with a hand towel. My entire body was soon soaked, as if I had just finished an intense workout. It lasted about 30 minutes.

I think I had just experienced my first hot flash! I guess no matter what your age, the study of mathematics and hormonal insanity are inextricably linked.

You Forget a Lot of Math in 26 Years

2007-07-18T19:18:00.000-04:00

I've spent the last week

futzing around the Tri-C website gathering information--how to apply, assessment test information, class schedules, etc
sleeping on this some more and finally deciding that, yes, I really do want to do this, not just think about doing it
realizing that, though I was pretty good at math at age 16, I haven't taken a math class since, and, boy, have I forgotten everything I don't use in my everyday life.
buying The Complete Idiot's Guide to Algebra and reviewing the first 14 chapters, filling up pages of legal-size paper working out problems and mostly understanding it at least as well as I did before.

I need to take the math assessment test for placement since I never took math in college and I will be totally lost in my accounting classes if I don't know this stuff. I'm supposed to take a math class at the Intermediate Algebra level or above during my first semester. Last week I looked at the sample assessment test questions online. I aced the basic calculation section (basics, fractions, decimals, easy geometry, etc.) but even the "beginning" algebra questions stumped me.

What a difference a few hours of concentrated attention make, especially with a good guidebook that explains it in everyday English with a bit of humor thrown in. I now remember how to do things like graph a linear equation, factor a polynomial, and solve a quadratic inequality. When I have the explanation in front of me, I tend to do very well on the practice problems. My mistakes tend to be arithmetic oversights, like forgetting that one of the numbers was negative, and I am understanding it well enough to realize where I made the mistake.

I think I am well into the Algebra 2 part of the book (only 5 chapters to go) and after I finish the book, I just need to practice. I need to take the test soon (like next week) so I can register for my classes and get all of the pre-enrollment tasks done before we leave for Europe. Classes start the week of August 27 so I'll be hitting the ground running.

Today I went down to the Admissions Office and officially applied. Also, I sent a transcript request form to CIM so they can send Tri-C my transcript from my Bachelor of Music degree. At least the credit from my English class should transfer, although I don't think anything else will.

Doors Closing and Windows Opening

2007-07-08T21:35:00.000-04:00

Last week I got my contract paperwork for one of my regular jobs. My stomach flipped unpleasantly when I saw that I was only offered classes 3 days a week instead of 6. I can't say it was a total surprise, since I know there have been financial issues.

This isn't the first time this has happened. In 2000, the Cleveland Ballet folded, everyone lost their jobs, and we found out about it by coming to work one day only to find the doors padlocked and the electricity cut off. That was definitely the worst.

Then in the fall of 2003, I lost a third of my hours at one of my jobs because classes were condensed due to low enrollment (bad economy, fallout from No Child Left Behind, etc.). Now I'm down another 8 hours. At this rate, the next time this happens, there will be no more hours left to cut.

I lost some sleep the first couple of nights, thinking first of all, how am I going to make up that lost income? All of the surviving dance companies in town are so financially lean they can't afford an accompanist. Freelancing (shows, weddings, parties, etc) are a nice supplement but aren't a steady source of income. Yes, I know, I have Paul, but I really need to be doing something more than 22 hours a week. I'm not old enough for this Lady of Leisure lifestyle and won't be for at least another 25+ years. Besides, his job won't be there forever either--once his boss retires, he'll need to find something else, which will probably involve a substantial pay cut. It would be pretty ugly if I have a long-term pay cut at the same time.

I'm starting to think that the career of dance accompanist will become obsolete pretty soon as budget cuts force schools and companies to save money by using CDs for music. And pretty much what's out there as steady jobs for musicians involves teaching. "Why not do that?" I'm sure you're asking. Well, because I hate it. I mean, really hate it. I'd rather go back to school and train to learn how to do something else, that's how much I hate it.

I started thinking about this on Thursday when I was browsing the want ads on cleveland.com. All of the available music-related jobs involved teaching in the schools. I also checked out entry-level general office jobs which could be part-time and make a dent in the lost income, but they really don't have a future. I really don't want to get stuck in that path--I know I could do better than that if I'm willing to take a little risk.

So I thought about other things I like to do that, with some education or training, could become a marketable skill, preferably one that would never become obsolete. I do enjoy anal-retentive detail work, computers, numbers and money, and have an aptitude for all of those things. Just for fun, I went to the Tri-C (our community college) website to see what programs they offer. I looked at the accounting program and actually started getting inspired.

You're probably thinking, that sounds so boring. Some parts probably are. But I'm good with numbers. I've been keeping track of every cent of my own money, income and spending, for almost 14 years straight, because I like to. I like all those graphs and reports in the Money software. If I get an Associates degree in accounting, I could get a job as a bookkeeper while keeping my other music jobs. If I decide I want to later, I could transfer those credits to Cleveland State, get a Bachelors and become a CPA.

I could totally do this. We have savings left even after the Europe trip, including most of my inheritance from Grandma. What better use of it than investing in my future? The whole 2-year program adds up to about $5000 in tuition, so I wouldn't even need loans. And heck, it would be easier to do this now than it would if I were, say 57 years old.

I feel smiled upon by fortune that I've managed to have a 20-year career in my dream job. Most people in the arts never got the lucky breaks I've had, and have had to have "day jobs" to pay the bills. I'm not giving up or anything--my other music jobs are still there. For now. But I'm ready to diversify my marketable skills for the first time in my life, and I find this incredibly energizing.

I Can Finally Post Photos Again!

2007-07-02T00:07:00.000-04:00

You've probably noticed that I haven't posted a photo since last year. It's because our stupid IE browser freezes on certain sites, one of which is the photo uploader tool on Blogger. IE has been getting more and more temperamental lately, freezing multiple times a day. I'm afraid our 4-year-old computer is clogged with crap inadvertently downloaded, perhaps through security holes in IE. When Paul's Aikido Journal subscription link became one of the frozen sites, I finally decided to get Firefox (yesterday). Wow, what an improvement!

The computer is still slow. I just finished backing up all our documents and photos in case it dies on us. I'm gonna post some photo highlights from the last few months for your viewing pleasure, now that it's possible again.

From my Christmastime(!) trip to Portland, with Mom

Christmastime, with Paul by our tree

I just realized, I've hardly taken any pictures since Valentine's Day. It's just been one of those years. But I do plan to make up for it this summer, especially on our Europe trip!

Successful Debut and a Visit

2007-07-01T23:57:00.000-04:00

Last Sat (June 23) was my first time playing through the whole show with the cast--and in front of a paying audience. Can you say adrenaline rush? It was fun anyway, though, and my mess-ups were pretty small. The Actors' Summit folks were, I think, pleasantly surprised that I did so well after only knowing the music for 9 days.

I checked my voicemail on the way home after the show and learned that Gene and Judy Lynch, family friends from Portland, were in the area and would like to meet up with Paul and me and take us out to an early dinner the next day. Unfortunately, Paul was teaching aikido, as usual, and I had a Windsong potluck at 4 pm that day, but they were still able to stop by in the afternoon and we caught up for a couple of hours.

Paul was a real sweetheart and cleaned the first floor of the house that morning since I didn't have time. We should have company more often--the kitchen table still had Christmas cards stacked on it.

Total Immersion

2007-06-18T23:28:00.000-04:00

Finally coming up for air. Last Wednesday, I went out to Actors' Summit to play for the directors, which entailed learning the two hardest passages from the show in about 20 minutes to give them a rough idea of how fast I could learn. I liked their energy and we have an easy rapport. I did get the job. I got a copy of the original Broadway cast CD, the piano score, and a contract for one rehearsal this Wednesday night and 11 performances, starting Saturday. Some of the CD recording is different from the score, and whenever it's different we're doing it like the CD.

Starting last Wednesday afternoon, I have been eating, sleeping and breathing this score, practicing up to 4 hours a day, taking breaks every hour to go for a bike ride or do a little yoga, listening to the CD constantly, and writing out the parts that are different in my lazy, music-score-free code that nobody else can read. Most of it I can now play well enough to play along with the CD so I can get used to the vocal parts, cues and tempo changes. It's working. Snippets of the show are now the soundtrack of my subconcious, which means it's sinking in. I still have things to clean up, but now I can play the whole thing (well over an hour of music).

Good thing, too. My first--and only--rehearsal is the day after tomorrow, and I really want to make a good impression and do a good job. I've been really physically tired from this, especially the first 3 days, but also energized. It couldn't have come at a better time in my schedule, as last week was my week off from CSD before the summer session started today, and I would have had nothing to do. I am just not used to that kind of intense practicing, though. I can't do more than 4 hours or the fatigue gets to be too much. My brain can only absorb so much information at a time anyhow. I think without the workouts I would have much less focus and stamina, yet another reason to keep it up.

Today, I went back to work at CSD. It was muggy and hit 95 degrees (our hottest day so far this year), but I still managed two round trips there by bike (I had a 3-hour break between classes) for a total of 16 miles riding. My first ride there, a month ago, took me 26 minutes to get there, and today's second trip took me only 21! (It takes about 12-15 minutes to drive, depending on the traffic.) It still feels strenuous (lots of hills) but it is noticably easier. I like seeing that sort of progress in such a short time.

Got Myself a New Gig!

2007-06-12T16:19:00.000-04:00

My profile listing at www.artistschair.com is finally getting some nibbles after languishing for two years. Last Friday I was selected at random to be the "featured artist of the day", and someone from the Chagrin Valley Little Theatre called the same day to ask if I could play for a production of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. I had to decline, unfortunately, because half of the run is during our Europe trip (boo!), but at least I was able to give him the name of another pianist and get on the call list for next summer.

Today, I got an offer from Actors' Summit to sub for 10 performances of The Musical of Musicals from June 23-July 15. If I'm lucky I'll get 10 or so days to learn the music and one rehearsal before being thrown onstage with the actors for a funny, fast-paced hour and 45 minutes in front of a paying audience. Wowie!

Baby's First Bifocals

2007-06-08T15:26:00.000-04:00

Though not in denial of the fact that I've reached middle age, I mostly feel (and I like to think look) young for my chronological age. But there are some things in this "slow slide into decrepitude", as Paul and I like to refer to it, that no amount of lifestyle changes will ever have any control over.

Yesterday I had my annual eye exam. Because I'm cheap, I usually stretch the appointment frequency to every two years, but this year I actually took the doctor's advice and came back after only one year. The reason: last fall, I started noticing that, especially in dim light while wearing my contacts, sometimes it would take a few seconds for my eyes to adjust when reading a restaurant menu or the phone book. Once when writing the mileage in my logbook by the light of the car overhead at night, I just couldn't see well enough to write at all. Paul lent me his reading glasses, and wow! Everything was so big and clear, and it took no effort to see! I realized I've been in denial for quite a while and promptly went to Walgreen's to buy some compact reading glasses that fit in my purse.

When we go out to eat or the theater, now we each don our respective specs to peruse the menu or program. I still feel like I'm impersonating a "young grandma" whenever I do this, a little self-conscious but not unduly upset at this undeniable sign of aging. I've already been practically blind for decades anyway, so it's not that huge of an adjustment. My friends who've already gone through this transition have been known to smile and say, "Our little Karin is growing up."

I got my new glasses prescription yesterday, and for the first time there is a number under the ADD column. +100 is about the mildest bifocal prescription possible--it's like a training bra for reading glasses--but still, it does make it easier to see.

Still, I feel compelled to add, I rode my bike 14 miles round trip to get to my appointment, and still had the energy to ride the 8 mile round trip to work later the same day. And it was all uphill. Both ways.

New Cycle Nut

2007-06-01T14:42:00.000-04:00

Well, I never did update about the RDA Festival. Here's the short summary: I worked really hard, playing only my very best and original stuff while world-class teachers, newspaper, TV and Dance Magazine reporters observed classes. I met and mingled with other dance accompanists and saw lots of strong, talented young dancers from all over the country. Now they want me to play for the regional RDA Festival again next year. If only it weren't during Memorial Day weekend, which is almost sure to be the performance time of Cleve. School of Dance. (Why can't they hold these things in August, when I'm unemployed for a month?) Anyway, I had a good time and came out ahead a bit in the financial department for the week.

The weather has finally warmed up, and as usual this time of year, my thoughts turned to alternative forms of transport to work (other than the car, that is). Last year, I intended to walk to work at least 3 times a week in the summer. The problem is, the school is 4 miles from home and it takes me about an hour each way. With my classes starting at 9 am every morning, I just never got up early enough to leave on time.

This year I thought, maybe it's time to get a bicycle. I've been resisting for years because 1) Every bike I've ever had except one has gotten stolen, admittedly because I got lazy just for a minute and left it unlocked in public and 2) helmets are hot and mess up your hair. I can solve 1) by being conscientious about locking, much easier now that I'm a grownup and 2) helmets nowadays are much lighter, more ventilated, and surprisingly, don't mess up my hair at all.

After doing some online research for a week, I went to Century Cycles to buy this bike, and I just love it!! It's the first really high-quality bike I've ever had, and now I'm in shape enough to pedal up the hills without having to get off and walk. The first day I had it, I rode to work (8-mile round trip including steep hills). My legs were rubbery afterward and certain muscles were sore so I had to take a day off the next day. Now, two weeks later, I've ridden to more distant destinations, such as downtown or Beechwood Place (15-mile round trip) to run errands. To stay off of the scary, busy, non-bike-friendly main roads I've been exploring the parallel quiet neighborhood side streets.

I really enjoy smelling the flowers and feeling the breeze (which makes riding even on a 90-degree day surprisingly pleasant), as well as the good feeling of being active and saving gas in the process. My body has gotten used to it quickly and now I can ride several days in a row without feeling like I'm overdoing it.

I'm skipping today though because 1) it's raining and 2) I have an extra Windsong rehearsal tonight for our performance tomorrow.

What a Difference 2 Weeks Makes

2007-04-22T21:39:00.001-04:00

Lots of exciting things are happening lately. Our church has just called a new full-time minister (the vote, unanimous with 1 abstention, just happened this afternoon)! Our ministerial candidate, Colin Bossen, has spent a week with us, preaching 2 Sundays and sharing potlucks, sitting in on committee meetings, etc. so we could get to know each other. Our search committee has spent two years of hard work to get to the point of selecting him, and I can't imagine anybody else being a better fit for our congregation. So happy it worked out.

It certainly didn't hurt that it was a beautiful, sunny, 78-degree day. I was able to wear some summery clothes and I painted my toenails for the first time since last September. For most of the year, my feet get so cold I wear two pairs of socks everywhere except to shower and sleep, so why bother doing my toenails--even I don't get to see them anyway! It's a mood lifter and a ritual to welcome the warm part of the year.

My biggest news: Tomorrow I drive to Pittsburgh for the week to accompany at the Regional Dance America National Festival. 2,000 or so youth ballet company members from small towns across America, 12 pianists, 5 adjudicators and 24 instructors will be converging for days jam-packed with master classes and performances. I will be playing for 21 classes over 5 days (Tues-Sat). There will be a 3-hour performance every night (I won't be playing, just have the option of attending) in the historic theater district. We're staying in the hotel connected to the Convention Center, which happens to include an 8,000-square-foot gym and a pool. Lodging, meals, mileage/plane fare, and tickets to all performances are included in addition to our pay. I'm actually going to come out ahead financially!

I looked at the hotel web site, and evidently, my room will have a fridge. So today I went to Target and bought some snax for my stay, including a 2-liter bottle of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, my current favorite soft drink. We're getting a flat reimbursement for breakfasts and incidental snacks, so why not try gaming the system a little and save some money up front?

I won't have internet access the entire time I'm there, unless I'm willing to pony up 30 cents a minute in the 24-hour business center. I may do that once or twice, but mainly just to check email and clean out my spam box. I'll have my cell phone with me, and it will be on 24/7 the whole time, as that is the only way anyone, including Festival staff, will be able to get in touch with me. I'll fill you in on the deets when I get back.

Just When They Thought It Was Safe To Bloom...

2007-04-07T23:06:00.001-04:00

Merry Easter, everyone. Greetings from the freakishly Frozen North, where the temperature dropped 50 degrees in 24 hours last Wednesday and hasn't climbed out of the 20's since. The calendar may say it's April, but it looks a lot more like January out there. We're under a lake-effect snow warning. We tried to drive out to go dancing tonight, only to turn around because of blizzard-like conditions and the scariness of sliding around while going only 25 mph on the freeway. Three more inches have fallen just in the 2 hours since we got back.

I think we've entered a wormhole in the time-space continuum and emerged somewhere in the thick of winter. Eight inches of snow on the ground and more falling every hour--check. Wearing sweaters, down parka and waterproof boots to go outside and the formation of snotcicles when walking for more than 5 minutes--check. A nasty gust of wind that snapped our front storm door open so violently that it yanked several screws out of the wood on the door jamb--check.

But taking a closer look, something's not quite right. Our mostly bare magnolia tree is sporting shriveled blackened husks that were fragrant blossoms only 4 days ago. Shrubs that were bursting with tender baby leaves or yellow blossoms are now freeze-dried. Daffodils that were popping open like popcorn at the end of March are now bowed down all the way to the ground in defeat. The cherry, apple and peach blossoms were just starting (a good two weeks early) and are now ruined for the year.

Easter is supposed to be a time of resurrection of new life and new hope, but I'm just not feelin' it this year. It feels like we're Charlie Brown and Mother Nature is Lucy holding the football. When it hit 79 degrees on Tuesday, I considered risking taking my down parka to the drycleaners, and then she swoops in, cackling evilly, "Haha, you thought it was spring! Suckers!"

An Amazing Recovery

2006-11-28T18:12:00.000-05:00

It's been seven days since the mugging, and I am pleased to be able to report that things are almost completely back to normal. We went to East Aurora on Thanksgiving as planned, Paul doing all of the 3.5 hour drive because my neck and head were sore and got stiff easily. For once we didn't have to deal with the threat of a blizzard on the drive--the weather has been beautiful for 7 days straight--sunny and 55-65 degrees. I feel like we're on spring break or something.

The company was pleasant and the food excellent. (The pies got rave reviews and Betty sent us home with two dinners' worth of leftovers!) I took my drugs dutifully as the pain was most fully developed after about 48 hours, but neither of us mentioned the mugging to anyone. This allowed me to really enjoy getting away from everything and put the whole experience in perspective. (For those of you interested in TMI details, I only took the Orphedadrine once a day right before bed, even though I could have taken it twice, and suffered no constipation.)

By Friday morning the pain was mostly just stiffness, so I was able to quit the drugs entirely after taking 1 Motrin in the morning, and I did all but one hour of the driving. We got home around 4 pm. Paul went to work on some stuff in the lab while I finished organizing the details for the service I had volunteered to lead on Sunday. Needless to say, I was just a teensy bit behind, but still managed to get it done not at the last minute.

By now I really felt the need to physically move after 2 full days of inactivity. A walk would have been ideal, but it was already dark and I was understandably hesitant to walk around the neighborhood by myself. So I did my gentlest FitPrime workout, FlexPosture, which is mostly yoga and pilates moves, and without the advanced modifications I usually do. I took it a little easy and made sure to support my head and neck more than usual when doing ab work. I felt better after.

Saturday we got up early with the intention to visit A Christmas Story House the morning of its grand opening. A Christmas Story is one of our favorite holiday movies, and it was partly filmed here. The actual house in the film is just across the river from downtown, and maybe 4-5 miles from our house. We parked at Clark Field and took a Lolly the Trolley shuttle to the house. Lolly has great sentimental memories for us--we haven't been on one since our wedding day.

When we got there, there was a line of about 100 people just waiting to buy tickets, and another snaking down the entire street and wrapping around the next block to get into the house itself. It was already 10:30 by now, and we had a dance lesson at 1:00, so we decided to just get tix (good anytime) and come back another day. Of course it was crowded--grand opening, Thanksgiving Saturday, California-like weather....

All weekend I continued to recover. I didn't even need over-the-counter pain relievers. I was able to do some cardio by Sunday and strength training today. I did take the weights down a notch, 10 lbs instead of my usual 12, but I can still do push-ups on the toes as long as there aren't too many reps. My neck is still a little not-quite-right but everything else is completely recovered. I think I bounced back this quickly partly because my body is used to stress and recovery from my workouts, and I probably would have gotten hurt more seriously if I hadn't been in shape.

I have been gradually replacing more cards. Now I have a new car insurance card, 2 grocery cards and library card. Losing the cell phone finally got me off my butt to switch us to a pay-as-you-go plan (roaming included!) which I should have done long before now. I still don't have my new credit card or ATM card yet, though, which is a major inconvenience. I had to go to a teller to deposit my paychecks and get major cash back so I could buy the cellphones, and I can't really start my holiday shopping without a credit card. Oh, well--I'm sure it will come before another week goes by, as the credit card company surely wants to make it easy to spend more money ASAP.

Mugged!

2006-11-22T23:37:00.000-05:00

Last night I was getting gas at a station near downtown because it was 8 cents cheaper than the one near our house. As usual, once I got the pump going, I got out my PDA to enter the mileage. (In other words, preoccupied.) Next thing I know, my purse was being violently yanked by some asshole. Like an idiot, I instinctively refused to let go, so the force he used to take it knocked me to the ground. On my head. On solid concrete. A kind bystander helped me into the cashier area. I think I got up by myself but I honestly can't remember. I never lost consciousness or anything, but I was very disoriented at first.

The police came and I filed a report, but I couldn't help them much since I didn't get much of a look at the guy and didn't even see the getaway van since I was too busy hitting my head at the time. I was of course crying by this time and shivering uncontrollably from the adrenaline. I borrowed a cellphone (mine was in my purse, of course) and tried to call Paul, who wasn't home. I was upset at missing my ballet class at the Masonic Temple, where I had no way to get ahold of anyone to let them know I wasn't going to make it.

An EMS ambulance came by next, took my vital signs, suggesting the idea that they should take me to the hospital, just in case. I was reluctant to just leave my car there--if it got vandalized or stolen, it really would make the evening suck. We kept trying to call Paul every two minutes. It happened at 6:30 and he still wasn't home by 7:20, which was extremely unusual. My panicking mind started worrying that something had happened to him, too.

I was able to drive home (at least it was only about 3 miles away) and I called Paul at work, where he answered. It turned out that he was stuck in the lab because stuff wasn't working. As soon as I told him what had happened, he just left the mess as it was.

After canceling my cell phone, credit card and ATM card and eating a quick dinner, we drove to the emergency room at the Cleveland Clinic (8 blocks from home). Good thing we brought books. It took almost 3 hours between checking in and finally getting seen. It's a good thing it turned out not to be too serious or the delay might have complicated things. Mostly I just have a nasty bump on the head with strained neck muscles from the impact. They gave me two presciptions, one for heavy-duty Motrin and one for Orphedadrine, a muscle relaxant. Of course, I couldn't fill it then since it was now 12:30 am. Good thing the pain wasn't too bad.

I was exhausted from the ordeal but couldn't sleep until at least 3 am, worrying about all the pain-in-the-ass things I would have to get replaced immediately (driver's license, proof of insurance, etc.) When I did finally sleep, it wasn't very good sleep and I had to get up for work only 4 1/2 hours later.

At least the weather was beautiful--sunny and 50 degrees. I drove to Case (which I never do) so I would have time to get stuff done between classes. I was able to get to the bank to get cash and get the prescriptions ordered. After class, I picked up the drugs. Armed with my passport (thank God we had those, or I would have been sunk) and my tax return (couldn't find anything else with my Social Security # on it, lost track of the card years ago) I drove down to the BMV, thinking it would be a zoo on the day before Thanksgiving. Surprisingly, there was only one person ahead of me. The bad news is a tax return isn't an official document--it has to be something officially from the government. They suggested I go the to SS Administration building and get an official printout and then come back.

I drove out of there with a big black cloud over my head, with tears of frustration, fatigue and low blood sugar. It was a race against time. I had to get the license before closing time today because Paul and I are driving to East Aurora, NY tomorrow to visit Betty and Kurt for Thanksgiving, and every minute I drove without it I was breaking the law and tempting fate should I have an accident or get pulled over.

The SS building's parking lot was nearly empty. Oh no, I thought. Did everybody go home early for Thanksgiving? But no, thank God, there were only 2 customers there, and I was in and out with my printout in 15 minutes. Bonus: a new card will come in the mail within 10 days or so.

So back I went to the BMV, which was slightly busier now, but I was still out of there with my new license after about half an hour. By the time I left, it was quite busy, so at least I managed to beat the rush!

When I got home, I went online and printed insurance verification documents and temporary insurance ID cards directly from the Progressive website, then ordered a new AAA card online. I am thankful I only have one credit card, and that I only had $10.51 cash in my purse. All the other cards (grocery store discount cards, Blockbusters, etc.) are trivial so I can deal with them another day.

I still had the energy to bake 2 pies tonight, one pumpkin and one apple-cranberry-orange. Paul had to teach tonight, but he had time to help make the crusts, which he's really good at. I am really looking forward to tomorrow, when I can just relax, get away, and not have to deal with any of this stuff. And be thankful I'm in good shape now so didn't break anything, and that no weapon was involved, and no abduction or worse.

Now I'm off to take this drug which has some lovely side effects. I hate taking drugs. Side effects--collect 'em all! I usually do. I don't mind drowsiness or dizziness (hey, maybe I'll sleep harder!) but I sure could live without the constipation. Who wants to be constipated on Thanksgiving?

Married 3 Years

2006-08-23T14:11:00.000-04:00

For the first time ever, we were not on vacation on our anniversary (Aug. 17th) this year. Paul worked all day and I played for Troy's class until 8:00. Though we did a lot of our celebrating during our Calif. vacation, we wouldn't think of letting the actual day pass unobserved.

When I got back from class, we drove 2 miles up the hill to the scene of much of our wedding weekend, the top of Cedar Hill. The door to the Alcazar Hotel was wide open. We walked right in, and after asking the guy at the counter for permission, walked out to the central courtyard in the fading light. Nothing had changed since that sunny afternoon 3 years ago, and we had the place to ourselves. We even found "our bench" and took a couple of pics.

Then (August 17, 2003)

Now (August 17, 2006)
And without a flash:

We had dinner at The Mad Greek (the scene of our rehearsal dinner) and shared a glass of very good Napa Valley Chardonnay, then went home and finished the other 2 truffles from our trip.

We have an unbroken tradition of going out dancing on our anniversary weekend wearing our wedding attire. This year, I was afraid I wouldn't get to wear my dress because it's 8" too big around on every measurement. In fact, it's so big, I'm not sure it's alterable without taking the whole thing apart, resetting the shoulders, etc. But I tried it on anyway, and lo and behold, I can get away with it because it's so light and it's supposed to be flowy! The sheer outer layer disguised the extra folds of fabric underneath quite nicely. So it hangs a little low--that I can deal with.

On Saturday, we got to dance in our duds, including the hats, which was romantic and great fun. Paul always looks gorgeous in head to toe blue striped seersucker!

Day 7--Points South + Bonus Pictures

2006-08-14T19:10:00.000-04:00

Technical note: As you know, I am one of the slowest writers on the planet. It is now actually Aug 22. I am still backdating these so I don't have to keep saying, "and the Sunday before last, we did such-and-such." Last night, Mom emailed me her pics from the trip. Great photos, by the way, Mom! My intention was to re-edit my previous entries and insert them into the appropriate places in the narrative, but the Blogger photo-uploading software is (surprise) not cooperating. It did, however, deign to let me add 10 of them to today's entry and no more. Maybe 10 is the limit? Anyway, here are some, mostly from the 8/12 family party and the next day.

Here's a really nice one of Mom, Paul, and me on Day 1, right after our first lunch together in Sausalito: At the family party with Aunt Barb
Mike, Uncle Jack, Jill
Rob and Alex
Eric and Rusty
E & R enjoying Rusty's B-day gift from us--Scrabble-themed mugs and wine charms!

On Sunday (our final day), we spent the day with Mom & Ron driving from San Jose to points south, including a stop in Carmel for lunch. It was a lot chillier than I expected close to the coast. We were at this lovely little Italian trattoria and sat on the patio. Our waiter turned on the outdoor heater, which was needed! Mom took this pic of us across the table.

Now I have to tell you a funny story here. When the sun came out and shone on my hair, Mom asked me with bemusement if that was a silver streak she saw in my bangs. I'd never noticed it, so I said I didn't think so. Paul and Ron said they could see it, too, so I insisted on checking it out in a hand mirror.

I wasn't freaked out or anything--actually, I thought it was sort of cool. I have noticed a lighter-colored area there, but in the incandescent light of the bathroom, it just looks like a lighter-colored variant in my mix of (natural) dark blonde shades. But in the sunlight, it had a definite silvery cast. We could see a few other little streaks in the sides, mostly in under-layers. You should have seen us parting my hair in different places, holding up the mirror, and exclaiming delightedly.

A woman watching us from the window inside was pantomiming what we were doing and shaking her head with a dismayed expression. I caught her eye and enunciated exaggeratedly, "But I like it!" Clearly she didn't believe me.

We did a little window shopping before getting back in the car to drive along the coastline, including the scenic 17 mile drive at Pebble Beach. In the late afternoon we turned around to head back to San Jose to make a cameo at Rusty's 40th birthday party at Eric & Rusty's.

The Birthday Boy
"Oh, it'll be a mid-afternoon party. We're not going to feed them or anything. Just some chips and salsa and birthday cake." Famous last words.
With Eric and Rusty's dad, Al
Because of the extra pain-in-the-butt security measures, ban on liquids, etc, we arrived at the airport 3 hours before our flight left. Which was fine--it was kind of nice to have a little time to just sit and read. It was a red-eye--we got in at 7 am, went home and slept until noon. I didn't feel too bad after that, though Paul was a little discombobolated. All in all, a great vacation and we had a fabulous time!

Day 6--The Family Party

2006-08-12T23:32:00.000-04:00

Wisely, we decided not to try to cram in an activity this morning, but instead, took some much-needed down time just hanging out, enjoying a late breakfast, reading and chatting. We left for San Jose around 2 pm. Good thing, too, since parts of Highway 101 were inexplicably bottlenecked and came to almost a standstill, adding at least 1/2 an hour to our time. We still got there early enough to check into our hotel before the party at Eric's (and dump our stuff, including a generous bag full of fine chocolates that would have melted in the heat of the car!)

We were responsible for providing the dessert. We went to a nearby bakery Eric had recommended and Paul and Mom picked out a decadent tiramisu cake that later earned raves from everyone. We got a bit turned around and lost trying to get to Eric's, but figured it out after a phone call from the road and actually arrived right on time.

This was my first time seeing Eric's new house, which is gorgeous and furnished with beautiful things. Eric always had an eye for quality even as a little kid (unlike myself--I was always too frugal). I didn't take any pics of the house, but Dad did on an earlier visit this year--click here to get an idea.

My cousin Jill was there with her husband Rob and son Alex, soon followed by Uncle Jack, Aunt Barb, my cousin Mike and his wife Laura. Rusty's parents, Al and Peggy, were also staying for a few days from North Carolina. It was great to see everyone again (hadn't seen them since Eric & Rusty's wedding 2+ years ago) and get a chance to catch up.

This family can cook kick-ass food! Eric grilled chicken and chicken sausage on his giant, state-of-the-art gas grill. We had a beautiful layered fruit salad in a trifle bowl and 2 Mediterranean-inspired pasta salads.

Jill, Laura, and Mike:

Here's everybody just hanging out after dinner:

As it got dark, we all sat in a big circle on the huge, covered patio talking and throwing around a glow-in-the-dark Koosh ball. Around 9 pm, we decided to take a "cousins" picture. Here are, from left, me, Mike, Jill, Eric, and Alex:

During dinner, I had particularly enjoyed the sweet, hot, pickled peppers in a salad that Eric and Rusty had made. They were just hot enough to widen my eyes without bringing tears to them. When I picked up my purse at the end of the night, there was a cylindrical mystery package crammed into it. "Hey, look, a gift from the Un-Birthday Fairy!" I said.

"Well, some kind of fairy," Eric replied. (It turned out to be a new jar of the special peppers--that was sweet of them.)

We got Rusty to open his birthday gifts from us early, which was fun.

The hotel has in-room jacuzzis in every room. Paul and I enjoyed ours for about 15 minutes, along with 2 of our truffles, getting a head start on our anniversary celebrations.

Day 5--The Chocolate Factory and Yoshi's

2006-08-11T23:56:00.000-04:00

Ron is a genius. From his AA Tour Book, he discovered that the Scharffen Berger Chocolate Factory, which just so happens to be located in Berkeley, is the only chocolate factory in the country which offers tours not behind sealed glass to the public. Now, I have been enjoying our winery tours like a good little adult, but if I had to choose between a good wine and good chocolate, you know what I would choose in a heartbeat. (Hint: it's not the wine.)

After a morning of downtime while Phyllis and Alec packed and got ready for their weekend camping trip, we said our goodbyes and headed down to the factory. We got there right on time (15 min before our 2:30 pm tour started). As we entered the gift shop area, the wonderful smell of premium chocolate in the air made me giddy with good feelings. Instant aromatherapy! The store was full of various products from this fine factory, and I already knew I was going to spend some serious money on our way out.

When the tour started, we sat in a classroom for an hour while the guide explained all the steps from bean to bar. Turns out that cacao is just the seed part of the fruit and tastes a lot like an aspirin in its raw, unprocessed state. It needs to be processed, aged, and roasted before that familiar chocolate scent and flavor as we know it comes out. We got to sample a delicious milk chocolate (42% cacoa, much higher than most), a 62% bar, an 82% bar (a little too dark even for me), and nibs, which are pieces of the roasted bean covered in dark chocolate.

Next (the fun part) we got to don hair nets (some of us needed beard nets as well!) and bright red protective earphones and walk right into the factory.

Now, if I had to have a factory job, this is definitely the one I'd pick. I was always concious of (and never sick of) the heavenly smell. Here is some chocolate being mixed with extra cocoa butter to give it smoothness.

Here are some ladies packaging the bars as they come off the conveyor belt.

Paul and I went a little wild in the store, even buying a box of 4 truffles for private anniversary celebrations later. There was a cafe on the other side of the building, where the 4 of us stopped in for hot chocolate and/or coffee. Mom said she was chocolated out afterwards. Such a state is an impossibility for me!

When we went home, the folks napped, Paul played his horn for a while and I went out for a 3.5 mile walk. It was a brilliantly sunny day with a foggy view of the bay from the high hills. I got to enjoy the chocolate smell all over again as it sweated out of my pores!

Evening saw us on another adventure, this time to Oakland to meet a connection of Paul's and see a zen monastery where she is a Buddhist nun. Pam is the founder of the dojo where Paul teaches on weekends. Years ago she left her sister Debbie in charge and moved out to the Bay Area. She has been out here for visits and always says to Paul, "Hey, if you're ever in San Fransisco, come out and visit me." We took her up on it. She is a delightful person, down to earth and full of joy. Her tea ceremony teacher, Yoshi, is also a shrewd businesswoman and founder of the famed Yoshi's Restaurant and Jazz Club, a fixture for some 30 years that features an unlikely combination of excellent Japanese cuisine and top-name jazz acts.

After seeing the monastery, which is austerely beautiful, we took Pam with us to Yoshi's as previously arranged. Yoshi herself was behind the counter, and greeted us and showed us around a little before seating us. The place is huge--about the size of a city block--and hopping. Pam knew just about everybody who worked there and it was fun listening to their banter. The food was absolutely first rate--at least as enjoyable as the Culinary Institute! Paul & I shared a dinner for two that had a little of everything--sashimi, tempura, vegetables, grilled fish on a stick--and was a delight of flavors, colors and textures.

We opted not to stay for a show as we were all feeling the need to get to bed at a decent hour. I'm really glad in retrospect because we got lost twice on the way home and didn't get back until after 11!

Musicale--Bonus Pics

2006-08-10T23:15:00.000-04:00

This is an extra edition of Aug 10's post. I was so busy playing during the musicale that I didn't take any pics, but happily, Mom & Ron did. So here they are for your viewing pleasure!

Me playing my solo

Alec with me accompanying
Paul
Eric
Ron describing his version of "My Way" and how it is meaningful for him

Deborah bowling us over!
Mom and Phyllis doin' the Java Jive
Phyllis and Richard

Day 4--Muir Woods and Musicale

2006-08-10T23:14:00.000-04:00

Last night was our last at Deborah's. We invited her to come join us at tonight's family musicale, on the condition that she perform something (as all of us were doing). She seemed a bit taken aback at first, but proved to be game. After a lovely breakfast of oatmeal and cinnamon toast, we spent a little time going over maps for the day's trips and set off in Mom's car for Muir Woods National Monument. (They went home with Phyllis last night, so we had the day to ourselves with the car.)

We wanted to do something seriously active, like hiking or biking. Paul had seen Muir Woods when he was out in S.F. for a martial arts convention 20 years ago, but I had never been. What could be more quintessentially California than The Redwood Forest from This Land is Your Land?

It was blessedly cool so near the coast after yesterday. I was the only one I saw there in a sleeveless shirt, but we walked so much, I was never cold. I had brought my pedometer with me (gadgets are fun!) so I had proof of the 7 total miles we walked. Well, 2 of them were just getting back and forth from the car, but still.

It was extremely crowded--the crowd was so thick around the monument boardwalk area that we could only shuffle helplessly along at about 1.5 mph. We took the first turn-off for a hiking trail we saw, a 3.5-mile loop up a steep hillside. It felt so good to walk our normal speed (we finished it in an hour) and work up a bit of a sweat. It was almost entirely in a deep woods, which was beautiful and smelled good.

By the time we returned to the boardwalk, we were in the mood to slow down and the crowds were smaller. Here is a redwood so tall you can't see the top from below:

An interesting growth pattern on one of the trunks:

We were really hungry by the time we got back to the car at about 2:30. We had lunch at the Pelican Inn at Muir Beach just a few miles down the road, as Phyllis and Alec raved about it. It had the atmosphere of an old English pub (Tudor architecture, etc.) and they served hearty fare that actually reminded us of Cleveland food (shepherd's pie and other "mitten season" favorites).

Afterwards, we took a short 10-minute walk to the beach itself. A bracing sea breeze whipped all around us--I was glad I had thought to bring a light jacket. All around the street there were signs warning people that they would get in deep doo-doo if they parked--here's one that's not exactly world peace.

We managed to get to Phyllis' house in Richmond in one piece in spite of rush hour and a wrong turn that led us on a maze around the back end of San Quentin. Eric had left work early in San Jose to come and join us. Phyllis' neighbors across the street, who were in the Netherlands for a month, had offered to let Paul & me stay there, as there isn't enough room at Phyllis'. They also have a well-tuned piano, which gave us the idea of having a musicale.

Alec, who is 14, has been playing the violin since he was maybe 5. Usually when I've been out for family get-togethers, he's played something with me accompanying. But this time, all of us played, sang, or did a reading. As soon as we arrived at about 5:30, a buffet of salads was set up at Phyllis', and people grazed and came over to rehearse as needed. I felt a little like I was on the job, as I was accompanying 2 pieces with Alec, 2 with Paul, one song with Eric (sightreading, but at least my part was easy) and the Java Jive by ear with Mom and Phyllis. Not to mention my solo, a live rendition of my latest composition Galion, which I had to practice for at least 20 minutes because at first I forgot a huge chunk of it. I ended up only having 10 minutes to eat.

I was originally planning on recording it with my new digital recorder and microphone, which I had brought on the trip especially for the occasion. But, unfortunately, I had overestimated my ability to remember how it worked after not using it for 2 months. Of course, I hadn't thought to bring the manual or even read it before the trip. I couldn't even figure out how to listen to what I had already recorded last time! Slightly frustrated, I said to hell with it. Instead, Phyllis used a mini cassette recorder.

The evening got to be fun as the performances started. The tedium of rehearsal always pays off--everybody played, sang, and/or did their readings well, and I thought, we have such a cool family! Deborah really surprised us with 2 solliliquies (in character!) and a song from My Fair Lady. She says she's never done anything like that before in front of other people. You'd sure never guess it as far as I could tell.

Afterwards we were all pretty wired. We enjoyed a dessert of homemade lemon cake with homemade whipped cream and organic strawberries while Eric entertained us with funny stories about cats, snakes, and snake phobia (all true).

Here's a pic of us with Deborah:

We want to be sure to stay in touch!

Napa Tour Day 3

2006-08-09T19:43:00.000-04:00

Blogger, in its far from infinite mercy, allowed me to post some photos today but then inexplicably got in a capricious mood again and now won't let me post the rest. So I'll do what I did yesterday and do the linky thing.

Deborah really knows how to make a great breakfast. Yesterday we had locally grown, organic strawberries (the kind that are red all the way through) in a fruit salad to die for, it was so flavorful. Today it was French toast made with deicious cinnamon swirl bread.

We went to the Sebastiani winery this morning and had a very early picnic lunch (11:15!) to accomodate our 12:30 tour appointment at the di Rosa Preserve. Here are Paul and Ron in front of one of Sebastiani's famous decoratively carved barrels.

In tribute to Miles (from the movie "Sideways," which we own on DVD and love to quote lines from), here's Paul in front of the Pinot Noir barrel. Now I know enough to know why I don't like the taste of Pinot--its high level of bitter-tasting tannins. But Paul likes it!

There was a lighted window with an elaborately decorated wine goblet inside. I was able to get a gtreat close-up!

Here's Paul induging in a little tasting at the front counter.

Once again, today's tour guides provided us with a magnificent picnic lunch. This time, I had the presence of mind to request a picture. We were very full afterwards, having just finished breakfast a scant 2 hours before, not that this was a problem!

We finished just in time to make it to the di Rosa Preserve by 12:35. We had to drive down to another building to catch up with our tour group. I took this picture of an outlandishly decorated car before I realized we weren't supposed to take pictures inside!
This place houses the modern art collection of 87-year-old Rene di Rosa, who started buying local modern art by young unknowns over 50 years ago. He just bought what he liked. Now there are over 2000 pieces in his collection, which is open to the public. Some of it is moving, some striking, some funny, and some just off the wall. Here is the one piece by himself, called "Lynched Volkswagen."
There were cawing peafowl strutting around the grounds.

A very few of the art pieces were interactive. Here's Mom enjoying one of these, a musical percussion instrument.

The tour lasted about 2 hours, but we were exhausted from the standing, the 90+ degree heat and mentally digesting everything we saw, so all of us headed back to Deborah's to relax for a few hours before dinner, which was at the Culinary Institute where gourmet chefs-in-training practice their craft. Deborah joined us and we met Phyllis and Alec there.

We brought the bottle of Sterling's Cabernet Sauvignon that Paul had bought, and that one bottle (excellent, by the way) was plenty for the 6 adults at our table. We looked at the wine list just for fun, which included a couple of references to our friend Miles from "Sideways."

We started with Today's Temptations, a selection of delicious appetizers. I only had 3 (out of 8) because I didn't want to be full before dinner arrived. I needn't have worried, since my selection, scallops, though beautifully presented, only came with 3 scallops, 3 small spears of asparagus, and about 1/2 cup of rice mixture. It was delicious, and the small size didn't bother me at all--more room for dessert! Chocolate souffle, to die for, plus 2 sides of cherry tarts we all shared.

Napa Tour Days 1 & 2

2006-08-08T17:44:00.000-04:00

Note: It is really Aug 18. We got back from our trip on the 14th--we loved it, had a great time, and took a total internet and news holiday. I must not really be addicted because I didn't miss it one bit. But I have spent an awful lot of time since our return catching up on "what I've missed" (salon.com, etc.) instead of immediately editing and posting the photos you all have been waiting for with bated breath. Sorry about that! Well, it's time to get off my butt and get to it. I've decided to backdate these entries so it won't be one big long one, and pretend I had online access the whole time.

What a luxury to live in a "hub" city. We had a direct flight to San Francisco from Cleveland and arrived before noon, when Mom and Ron picked us up (they had driven from Portland). We had a delicious lunch in a restaurant with water on 3 sides in Sausalito, window-shopped for a while, then took our time getting to Napa.

We stopped in at Bob & Sylvia's house (where Mom & Ron were staying for their B & B). We were just meeting them for the first time. Over iced tea and limeade on their patio, we got to know them a little, then took a little walk on the paved walking path behind their house.

We had dinner in a pub restaurant in downtown Napa. Even their pub had a pretty comprehensive wine list though I abstained. After dinner the folks dropped Paul & me off at Deborah's house (our B & B). She has a really sweet cat (Gracie) who even came in and slept on our pillow since we left the door cracked.

Today we went to Sterling Winery for our first tour. The winery is only accessible by sky tram! It was a beautiful view, although the thinness of the cable and the way the car swung in the breeze did make me feel a little anxious! Here is a view from the tram:

The winery, like so many buildings in Caifornia, looks like it was built 200+ years ago by Spanish missionaries--lots of stucco, terra-cotta tiles, and walkways bathed in Mediterranean sunlight. We went on a self-guided tour, where we learned how the different wines are made. I never knew that white wines were fermented slower and at a cooler temperature than red ones, for instance. We learned about the different kinds of oak used in the barrels and how different toastings of the wood adds flavor complexities to the wine. Here are some of the barrels. The technology for barrel making has hardly changed since the Middle ages.

**technical details intermission**

Alas, no matter what I do, Blogger has decided it doesn't want to let me post any more pics in this entry. Last time I got around this by posting them on my website and uploading them as links, but now it won't even let me do that! Boo. From now on, you'll have to click on the links to view.

**and now, back to our regular programming!**

After the tour, we emerged into the blinding sunlight on a terrace overlooking some of the vineyards.

Paul and I trying not to squint

Mom and Ron relaxing on a bench

The beautiful Sterling vineyard

The same vineyard, this time in a panorama view

And finally, it was time for our tastings! We found a table on the patio and tasted 5 different wines, starting with the light white, ending with full-bodied red and then a dessert wine. We got the server to take a picture of us. This is such a great picture!

Tasting

2 1/2 hours later, it was time to take the sky tram back down the hill. Check out how thin that cable looks!

We went to 2 more wineries. Someone in our party bought at least one bottle at every stop. One of them had a shaded picnic table area, where our tour guides unpacked a lovely lunch of artisan breads and cheeses, fruit, and oatmeal cookies (accompanied by wine, of course!)

Tonight we had a grilled homemade dinner at Deborah's and just sat outside on the patio and talked until after dark. Great food and great company!

Travel Plans, Now and a Year From Now

2006-08-06T21:23:00.000-04:00

Ah, August, when our fancy turns to travel and vacations. It's that rare time of year when all of my jobs come to a standstill and both of Paul's martial arts dojos have breaks. And, unlike any of my employers, Case gives Paul some paid vacation. As long as he plans it in advance, he's never had trouble getting a week or two off during August.

We've been talking since the month we met about the dream of taking a European vacation together someday. I've never been and he's only been once, on business. We already have enough money in savings (and then some) to pay for it upfront. It was just a question of picking where.

Eric helped us speed up the process by asking if we had any idea where bacause he wanted to send us some travel resources for Christmas last year. I said Salzburg (Mozart's birthplace) since that's always been my gut answer to that question. He gave us a wonderful travel info kit from Rick Steves' Europe Through the Back Door for Germany, Austria and Switzerland. We've watched all the DVDs and started getting excited. These tours are a little off the beaten path and are designed for people who want a more genuinely European, less touristy experience. You have to be in shape, as in able to carry all of your bags for 15 min over uneven cobblestones and flights of stairs. Lots of standing and walking up to 6-10 miles a day is par for the course. We thought, wow, this sounds perfect. And we're not ready to try to do this on our own, deal with driving and finding transportation, etc.

On the 4th of July, we celebrated that hot, muggy evening by deciding for sure that this is how we want to leave our country. 2 weeks ago we put a deposit down for this tour. The written confirmation just came yesterday! So August 7-22, 2007, now you know where we'll be.

This August 7 (tomorrow), we'll be taking off to Napa Valley for a B & B/wine tour for three days (2 of which Mom & Ron will join us for), then some family visiting time around the Bay Area through the weekend. A family musicale this Thursday is among the planned activities. Paul is going to bring his new horn! Since it has a cut bell, the case is actually small enough to fit carry-on specs, unlike his old one. No one in the family has ever heard him play, so we're all looking forward to it. Well, off to pack--the plane leaves in 12 hours.

What happened to the summer?!

2006-08-04T23:02:00.000-04:00

Whoa. I blinked, and half the summer got away from me. I got out of the habit of keeping up the blog from pure laziness. (It surely isn't my huge workload--I worked for 4 weeks with only 2-3 classes a day. That mostly ended 2 weeks ago.)

What on earth have I been doing? you may be wondering. Here's a list of highlights:

I've been learning more about yoga and integrating more of it into my workout schedule. Paul has some yoga videos that I've been trying out. I like the ashtanga style ones, as they are more vigorous and generate heat so my tight muscles are more likely to get warm enough to actually stretch. I bought a couple of new ones (here and here). I'm not up to doing this style every day so I'm supplementing with beginner lessons from one of Paul's books. It's already making a difference after only a couple of weeks.
We've been playing horn and piano music together. We played for a church service in July and also got together with Sharon to play some horn, piano and flute music.
Today Paul and I had an adventure at the Conn factory. He's been thinking about getting another (smaller) horn that would be less unwieldy and better suited for chamber music. The factory is in Eastlake, Oh (only about 25 minutes from our house). Paul got the name of a contact there from Chuck Ward when he brought his horn in for maintenance a couple of days ago. He made an appointment for 8:30 am today, and I got to come too since I wasn't working. He spent an hour trying 3 different horns and ultimately (much to his surprise) ended up choosing the 11D (medium bore) instead of the 10D (small bore). He still had to buy it through a dealer, which was a little bit of a hassle, but we just went home, made phone calls, closed the sale over the phone, and then drove back out to the factory to pick it up, all before noon. I am excited for him!
At out Joseph Campbell Round Table discussion group at church last month, the conversation turned to altered states of consciousness, the universal drive for such states in all humans, and the many ways to get there. I read some more of Paul's books (The Natural Mind and The Marriage of the Sun and Moon, both by Andrew Weil) that explore the role of drugs and other substances in different cultures. Fascinating reading. Since I've never tried a drug in my life (with the exception of caffeine, alcohol, and prescription pain relievers), I had no idea that one's mindset, expectations, and setting make a huge difference in a drug's effects. Having grown up with the "This is Your Brain on Drugs" propaganda that Drugs Are Always Bad in my formative years, I always just assumed that one try would instantly turn you into an addict and a crazy person. I'm still not interested in trying any of them, but maybe that's because I have arranged my entire life, career choice, etc. to maximize the chance of an altered state. Let's see: Music, romantic love, athletic activity, dance, sugar, caffeine...
Cambell says that people aren't really interested in finding the meaning of life, but rather the experience of being alive. We talked about that at last night's meeting. I see what he meant, but I would have to say that most people do care about making a difference (meaning) and that life is more than just a roller coaster ride (experience). But I think without the experience to make one feel alive, it's awfully hard to connect to the meaning.
Speaking of experience, we continue to find new ways to enjoy food. I have been finding new recipes online for summer and now I do most of our meal planning. Lots of pasta salads and green salads witha variety of toppings. The West Side Market has been a great source for cheap fresh produce. They have a stand that sells all kinds of dried fruit, including dried strawberries. These are so delicious! Think moist and chewy as in dried apricots, only super-sweet, concentrated strawberry flavor. Truly the food of the gods and the best candy ever. I cut up mangoes to put in the freezer--great frozen treats. Another thing we've discovered--super premium ice cream (Ben & Jerry's or Haagen-Dazs) is oh-so satisfying even if you only eat 1/3 of a cup. Those little pints are yielding about 6 servings around here! I eat some every day. All those nutrition advice sources that say you can eat sweets "occasionally," as in no more than once a week(!)--I just think that's so bogus. I must be doing something right because I've been able to maintain my goal measurements for 20 weeks so far with no problem.
It's been so hot lately. I've spent a lot of time holed up in our lovely air-conditioned house watching free DVDs and reading books from the public library, napping, and playing on the internet. This always happens to me during the summer layoff period--I just get really lazy and hardly accomplish anything. But this time I've kept up, and even increased the intensity of, my workouts (it's a little too much--I will have to pull back a bit) and have so far (except once or twice) avoided overeating out of boredom. These are major, major victories.

Weekend With the Bokuniewiczes

2006-06-29T22:25:00.000-04:00

We had a great, full, busy, fun couple of days with our out-of-town friends this past weekend. Since I was at Darcy's, Paul did all the house cleaning and grocery shopping (for which I was extremely appreciative!)

We started Saturday with a rehearsal of the Reinecke trio at the church (to be played the next day). Although I had hardly practiced, I retained most of last year's hard work on it and then some. We all had a much more relaxed attitude about it and we sounded even better than last year.

Around noon, Matt Green (another of Paul's college friends) came over. He was able to score us some corporate tickets for the Indians game. We were in the second row along the third base line! We would have never gotten these seats if the Indians had been playing at all well, Paul likes to say. It was a glorious day, much like our similar afternoon last year, 71 degrees and sunny. We were in the sun this time, slathered in SPF 45, and it was just perfect.

It was only the fifth time I've seen a baseball game live, and I'm happy to report that my streak of having the home team win whenever I go to a game remains unbroken. Halfway through, we moved back a few rows where we could all sit together. Here's our group, left to right: Matt Green, Tom, the 3 sons Jeff, Matt, and Tyler, Marina, and Paul.
On Sunday Marina, Paul and I were the featured musicians at church, playing the Reinecke trio.
Paul, me, Marina after the service.
It was also the last day for our interim minister, Terry Kime. She was with us for a year and I'll miss her. Here she is with Kathy, our outgoing board president, and Rob, our incoming one. Dana and Linda made the stained glass chalice gift.

Photo op time, Paul and I with the Bokuniewicz family:
And here's one I took with Matt Green, who came to the service to hear us play:
We went out for lunch at Tommy's in Coventry, a short walk down the street, where Joy joined us.

Great Times With Darce

2006-06-23T23:27:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I had the special treat of hearing the high-profile debut of Darcy's group, The Milwaukee Brass Quintet. They were awesome and got a well-deserved standing ovation. Darcy had arranged a couple of the numbers and even got credited for it by the MC, something she was not expecting!

I got a closeup during the sound check. I figured it wouldn't be too cool to stand right there in the middle blocking people's view during the actual concert!

Here they are during the performance.

Behold the magic of an optical zoom lens!

Darcy got to play MC a couple of times.

The teeming multitudes enjoying the music.

Right after the concert, all five of them had to rush to the performing arts center for a 2 1/2 hour rehearsal for the Milwaukee Symphony concert that night. So I was turned loose with a map downtown to check out the Old World 3rd Street area and the Grand Mall.

I had lunch at the Jewel of India. I am proud to report that, for the first time ever in my life, I ate at a sit-down restaurant, by myself, with no book. I felt a little self-concious but it was fine when I concentrated on my food. I got the buffet lunch and particularly enjoyed the spinach paneer and chicken marsala.

At the mall, I discovered a store I'd never been into, Dress Barn, that has some really cute stuff that's pretty inexpensive, so I bought a multi-colored pastel t-shirt (to replace the one I loved that's now too big for me) and a pretty yellow and peach chiffon dress with a little yellow sweater that I wore last night for the concert.

The concert was American Favorites, the kind of things you hear on the 4th of July, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Here's a great pic of Darcy and me taken in the lobby afterward: Today we went out for an excellent Italian lunch and did some more shopping, takling a mile a minute the whole time. I really wish we could do this more often! Love you, Darce!

Milwaukee Down Time

2006-06-21T14:03:00.000-04:00

I feel like such a jet setter. Paul came to pick me up Monday at 7:30 am after my red-eye from San Diego. It's amazing what some of us will do to avoid paying for another night's lodging. But actually, it really wasn't that bad. Sure, I was a little sleep-deprived, but a 3-hour nap fixed that.

I spent Mon. and Tues. eating the highest fiber foods I could (sort of a college cafeteria food detox), catching up on some of my online haunts, doing laundry, practicing the Reinecke trio for Sunday, a little house cleaning, and packin' my bags again for my trip to Milwaukee to visit Darcy!

So here I am sleeping in, chatting, catching up on my email while she does her yoga session, and looking forward to lots of downtime today as she finishes arranging Phantom of the Opera selections for the Milwaukee Brass Quintet to play at next week's Concert on the Square. I have a big, fat, 1,000-page novel from the library that I'm only halfway through. This past week was stuffed to the gills with activities--I had the energy to handle it, but I did get tired!

I have a few posts on the Windsong blog from last week:

Wow--What a Full Day!
I've Been Humbly Beseeched
Last Day

Report From the Front

2006-06-17T00:55:00.001-04:00

I am having the best time here in San Diego. I've been up since 5:15 (after being awake for 21 hours in a row from yesterday's 6:30 am flight here) and just now the tiredness is starting to hit me. Not only am I playing for Windsong, but I played for Columbus Women's Chorus and I'll be playing (and singing) for the mass chorus concert on Sunday. I have done nothing but exercise, eat, sing, play, and listen to concerts all day.

Here's something cool: Windsong has set up a blog for our experiences during this conference, where all of us can contribute. Some have even transmitted audio posts from their cell phones. Check it out! I'm off to post over there.

Love,
Karin

P.S. I'm beat--but in a good way.

Heading off to San Diego Tomorrow

2006-06-14T16:17:00.000-04:00

.....for the Sister Singers Network 25th Anniversary Festival. 13 women's choruses (chorii?) from across the country, including Windsong, will be performing, attending workshops, cheering each other on, networking, socializing, and participating in a giant mass chorus performance on the last day. One of the mass chorus numbers has a piano part, and Your Truly is playing it. :-)

I've had a busy day today, starting with getting my car to the shop by 8 am. My air conditioning system is apparently full of leaks (hence no cold air). Unfortunately, the compressor is among the leaking parties. About 8-10 different parts of the system need repair, but I was too paralyzed by the $870 estimate figure to have any recollection of which parts they might be. I decided to suck it up, although it's painful, because I do intend to keep the car at least 7-8 more years, and if I didn't care about working air conditioning, I just would have kept my last car before this one. My sweet husband gave me a ride back from the shop, making the rest of my day so much easier.

So far today I've gotten done: a workout, 5 loads of laundry, a couple of time-sensitive phone calls and mailings, recorded and uploaded Galion, and made a list of things I want to be sure not to forget to bring (such as travel alarm). Oh, and a little practicing. All that's left to do is whatever more practicing I want to do and PACK!

Gotta get up at four in the morning for a 6:30 am flight, and I'll be getting back on the redeye special at 6:47 am Monday morning. I probably won't have computer access the whole time, so see ya then! Pictures and stories to follow.

Galion is Up

2006-06-14T15:55:00.000-04:00

Aaaaaaand.......here it is! For those of you who would like to listen on a Mac or right-click and download to listen anytime on your computer or mp3 player, you can also find it here. Only 3 weeks old, hot off the brain!

Technical Difficulties?

2006-06-12T23:52:00.000-04:00

Does the sound clip link not work for you? :-( Shoot, it works fine from my computer, but maybe there's something I didn't do correctly. Can you hear it from my homepage on putfile.com? I sure hope so. Let me know.

I've also posted it on www.karint.com/MyMP3s , but it takes a lot longer to download there (it's almost 5.7 MB). If that doesn't work, I'm really gonna be discouraged. That site is part of my dad's domain name, www.webfooters.com, and I'm not sure how much data it can hold. If I start using it for big music files, they may just take up too much room.

I spent the evening trying to learn how to make a podcast. My Dad learned how to do it a few months ago, as shown in this blog post. Granted, Dad is very quick to learn this type of stuff, and I know that, but he made it sound fairly simple. So I followed his link to the about.com podcast tutorial. It seemed simple and clear, but I have zilcho experience with code. It seems they left out a few details about how to make an rss file, specifically how to enter the date. I used the rss validator link, which shows you if your rss feed is valid, and it pointed to errors in the date field, but I have no idea what it is supposed to be. I gave up in irritation after an hour and a half.

I spend so much of my time doing things I'm already good at, I'm not used to not being able to get something.

My First Sound Clip!

2006-06-12T16:59:00.000-04:00

I have spent today learning how to use my new digital recording equipment. It's fairly simple as gadget learning curves go. I haven't done much of anything as far as tweaking microphone levels, etc. but I did set it for "loud music" as the attacks on loud piano chords in our living room were a tad distorted on my first try. (They still are, but less so.)

Oh, those Sony people are devious! I didn't know that you can't use the included Sony Soundstage software to burn an uploaded digital MiniDisc recording to a CD until after I bought it. That sucks, I thought, since that's one of the prime reasons I bought it in the first place. It also doesn't record in .mp3 format, only giant .wav files that take up roughly 10 MB/minute (a little big for uploading or emailing).

I found an easy way around both of these problems. All I have to do is open the files with something else, such as Windows Media Player, and I can burn them onto CDs with no problem. I googled "mp3 conversion software" and found an easy little converter for 20 bucks that will convert my stuff into .mp3s in just a couple of mouse clicks.

I will eventually learn how to set up a podcast, but until I do, I found this nifty little site where I can upload media files up to 25 MB for free.

So without further ado, behold--my first sound clip ever. This is a tarantella I composed in 2002 (based on a traditional tarantella melody) for the Cleveland School of Dance. I got to play it again for the recent performance a couple of weeks ago. I thought I'd start with this because it's short, and it took me a few takes to work out technical difficulties. Enjoy! Galion clip coming soon.

Sample Eating Plan for Weight Loss

2006-06-04T23:50:00.000-04:00

Last night I saw my friend who wanted the weight-loss specifics I wrote up in this post. Now she wants specifics and details on what I actually ate while losing weight. So here is what I wrote her:

Here are some sample "day in the life" food plans I used while losing weight. I didn't journal, so this is the best I can remember. I'll put the time of day I ate as well, and estimated calories in parenthesis. I ate about 1800-2300 calories a day starting out. As I got lighter, the range was more like 1500-2000.

Day 1 (exercise day)

9:00 am Meal 1
1 serving of old-fashioned oatmeal* (150)
toppings: 1 teasp. dark molasses (15), 1/4 teasp. cinnamon (0), about 1/2 c skim 1% milk (40-50) and a generous handful of walnuts (100).

1.5 mile walk to work

11:30 am Meal 2
1 banana (80-100) This was really the rest of my breakfast, but it went further when I ate it later. Timing it 1/2 hour before my workout it also doubled as fuel.

1.5 mile walk home

12:00 noon I did a strength-training workout. (45-55 min DVD) This would kill my appetite as long as I was moving, but then it would come back with a vengeance!

1:30 pm Meal 3
Ham sandwich:
1 slice 12-grain bread (110)
whipped cream cheese, thin layer (40)
1 ham steak, 4 oz. (120)
slices of tomato (5)
banana peppers, the lowest sodium you can find (5)
a pile of leaf lettuce at least an inch thick as a lid for your sandwich (10)
1 can Diet Coke (0)
1 medium apple, cut into slices (80), plus 1 oz. extra sharp cheddar cheese, cut into small slices (110)

4:00 pm Meal 4
1 medium orange or 2 clementines (60)
High fiber granola bar (130)

6:30 pm Meal 5
Cupcake-size homemade bran muffin, 2 oz. (150)

9:00 pm Dinner (I didn't count calories for dinners, so I really have no idea, but I'll try to estimate)
5" square of homemade meat lasagna (ground turkey instead of beef, whole grain lasagna, 1/3 less cheese than recipe called for but still regular cheese, not reduced fat) (600)
steamed veggies (generous portion of broccoli, carrots, asparagus, etc. lightly salted) (50)
La Croix flavored sparkling water (0)
3-6 small squares of high-quality 70% dark chocolate (we think Green & Black's is by far the best!) (55-110)
________
Calorie total: about 1900-2000

Day 2 (rest day from exercise)

9:00 am Meal 1
1 South Beach Diet high protein cereal bar** (140)

1.5 mile walk to work

12:00 noon Meal 2
1 hard boiled egg (80)
1 medium banana (80-100)
1 8-oz light yogurt (120)

1.5 mile walk home

2:30 pm Meal 3
Homemade Burrito: (microwave for 1 min)
1 burrito-sized whole wheat, low-carb tortilla (100)
1/4 can organic refried beans, about 1/2 cup (120)
a couple spoonfuls of good salsa (we like Muir Glen) (15)
2 teasp. sour cream (40)
banana peppers (5)
thin slice of extra sharp cheese (maybe 3/4 oz) cut up in little pieces (80)
1 can Diet Coke (0)

5:00 pm Meal 4
pieces of celery with 2 teasp. natural peanut butter (130)
high fiber granola bar (130)

8:30 pm Dinner
Italian chicken:
1/2 cup (this is less than you think) spaghetti, half white, half whole wheat (120)
1 chicken thigh with skin (300)
1/2 cup of pasta sauce (70)
a little grated fresh parmesan cheese as a topping (100)
green salad (at least 3 big leaves of leaf or Romaine lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, etc) (30)
1 tablespoon high-quality real (not diet) salad dressing, such as Newman's Own or Annie's (70)
La Croix flavored sparkling water (0)
3-6 squares of dark chocolate (55-110)
________
Calorie total: 1800-1900

More Tips

I drank about 4-6 cups of water throughout the day. Not everyone needs 8 cups.
Sugarless gum is also your friend. I chewed about 2-5 pieces a day. Comes in handy when you want something sweet or minty that lasts 45 minutes for 5 calories!
Eat with lunch-sized plates instead of dinner plates. It's more psychologically satisfying to see your smaller portions filling up the plate!
The only reason coffee isn't included is because I don't like it. I think up to 16 oz a day is fine if you do drink it.
Sometimes you will eat out or go to a party or potluck. What I did for eating out: order something lighter (not fried) and take the other half home for the next day. Potlucks: fill half your plate with salad/vegetables, 1/4 with starch, 1/4 with meat/main course. Take half of what you think you want and eat slowly. Only get seconds if you're still hungry after 20 minutes. Eat just one of the best dessert there. If you can't decide, take 2 half servings of 2 desserts. Eat a little lighter the next day and you will be fine!
I almost never have caloric drinks. They don't make you feel any fuller than water. I'd rather chew my calories. I do occasionally have alcohol, like 1-4 drinks a month. I'd usually rather have sweets than alcohol. So if you have a drink, have one less sweet and it should come out even.

Other good mini-meals/snacks

4 oz shrimp or crab delite with coctail sauce (90)
banana dipped in 1 teasp. natural peanut butter (150)
bowl of high fiber cold cereal with skim or 1% milk (my favorites these days are Spoon Size Shredded Wheat & Bran and Fiber One Honey Clusters) (220)
handful of nuts (120)
1/2 cup frozen berries (60)

Our dinners varied more than this. They were all just regular food, just smaller portions than I used to eat. But the other meals, I pretty much ate as above or very similar. I love all of those foods so I didn't mind eating less variety. I still eat pretty much the same.

Maybe there is still too much sugar in my plan for it to be optimal for health. They say you're supposed to eat sweets once a week or less. But that's just not gonna happen for me. And this still worked for me and I never felt deprived. Sometimes I did get a little hungry but it just made me enjoy my food even more.

If I can do this, I know you can! Best of luck.

___________________
* Who has time to cook this every day? Not me. I cooked 5 servings at once about once a week, when I had time, then refrigerated the servings in individual airtight containers. Microwave for 1 minute, and, voila!

**I mostly refuse to eat "diet" food, but I really like the taste of these and they keep me satisfied much longer than a bowl of cold cereal and they are a godsend if you need to eat on the run. Even more filling: Slim-Fast high protein meal bars. 4 oz Vita Muffins are also great.

Sound Files Coming Soon!

2006-06-03T19:03:00.000-04:00

Several of you have asked, "So when are we going to get to hear a sound clip?" in response to my Galion post.

You have inspired me to finally take the plunge (and get off my frugal butt) and order my first recording technology since my high school cassette recorder. Sometime before the end of this week, I will have a new digital recorder and stereo microphone!

I've been waiting all this time for recorders to get better and cheaper. Most of the ones out there are for electronic instruments that you plug directly into the recorder, and only recently have there been choices that are convenient and less expensive for accoustic instruments. This one finally comes with software that makes it relatively easy for even a non-geek like me to upload it to the computer (not the case 2-3 years ago).

Memorial Day Weekend Fun

2006-06-02T20:37:00.000-04:00

Last Sunday the weather finally warmed up. It was just beautiful, sunny and in the low 80s. Paul had to teach his classes, but I was free to attend little Bruce's 2nd birthday party at Bev & Fred's. It was a potluck cookout and I sat at the table full of salads and side dishes and got to know yet another group of Bev's friends. The highlight of the party was, of course, the birthday celebration. Bruce had a Winnie-the-Pooh cake. He couldn't resist dipping his fingers into the orange frosting!

Here he is with his mommy and daddy right before we sang "Happy Birthday." He's still little enough that he lost interest in the present-opening early on and went off to play while Bev opened them. Good times!

On Monday, Paul and I had another harmonic convergence of time off together for the whole day (not seen since Easter), so we did what we always do when we get this chance--get outside! After consulting our copy of Cleveland on Foot and picking a 6-mile, 3-hour hike from the "Moderately Strenuous" selections, we got up early, left by 9:30 am and were on the trail by 10. The trail was almost entirely in the woods so it was about 10 degrees cooler, a good thing since it was pushing 90 by the time we finished around 1 pm!

I am happy to report that I have met another fitness goal, and that is to be able to keep up with Paul on a hike and not be wasted for the rest of the day afterwards. We are now about equal in fitness. He says strengthwise he still has an advantage but that aerobic-wise I have the advantage!

There were lots of steep ravines, some of which were full of mud and water. One even had rushing water with just a stone or two to hop on to get across. I am still a wimp in these situations so I slowed down and was extra careful, but my balance has improved tremendously and I never tripped or slipped. The scenery was beautiful and we had a great time.

The heat didn't even slow me down. Sure, I got a little sweaty but it didn't make me feel miserable and out of breath like it used to, and I don't have a chafing problem anymore. When we got home, we didn't even turn on the air conditioning because it just wasn't that uncomfortable.

However, we did catch The Da Vinci Code in the early evening. I've read the book, Paul hasn't, and we both enjoyed the movie a lot. I don't get all the negativity from the critics--perhaps their attention spans are frayed from having to see so many movies. I thought it was pretty true to the book and beautifully shot.

How I Did It

2006-06-02T13:43:00.000-04:00

I know, I promised I wouldn't write any more weight-loss posts. Sorry! I won't be offended if you skip this one if you find the topic boring. People are still asking me how I did it. One friend wanted lots of specifics. She wanted me to write it out to send to an out-of-town friend of hers who wants to lose a lot of weight. So I wrote out everything I could think of. I thought I would post it in case anyone else would like to hear my experience. (Writing it out has also helped me feel more motivated to keep it up!)

Commitment and Motivation

Okay. The first thing you must do is make a commitment that you're ready to do this, you really want to do this, and you mean it. I had to think of it as my "full-time hobby," otherwise I just wouldn't have had the drive. Until you're in that mindset (it may take a few false starts), it will be too easy to just give up when it all just seems like too much. Find something that motivates you. Here were my motivators when I started my weight-loss journey in Sept. 2005:

1. Diabetes and heart disease run in my family. If I don't do something now, it will surely happen to me. Not only will this keep my quality of life infinitely better, but think of all the money I'll save on drugs and insulin needles!

2. We want to take a vacation to Europe in the summer of 2007. My feet are always killing me after standing around for only 20-30 minutes, and 5 miles of walking wipes me out for the rest of the day. If I don't get in better shape, how much am I going to enjoy this vacation?

3. I poop out so easily, needing a lot of caffeine and a nap to get through most days. Caffeine doesn't even help after a certain point. I'm not that old. I should have more energy at this age (40). It's only going to get worse if I don't do something.

Starting Out

These were enough to motivate me to start. On starting: don't try to change everything at once! It will be overwhelming and too hard. I had a lot of ingrained bad habits. It's too much to expect to eliminate all of them, plus add 5 new good habits all at the same time. I changed one habit per week at first. Here's what I did:

Week 1: Start walking 3 miles per day, 5 days a week. (This was not too much for me, but your mileage may vary. Find a distance that doesn't kill you at first, even if it's only 5 or 10 minutes a day, then add a minute every few times). I didn't change anything else this first week.

Week 2: Time to stop my worst eating habit, candy abuse. ( I was eating like a pound a day, I kid you not!) When all the candy in the house ran out, I didn't buy more. I wasn't ready for portion control or counting calories or anything like that. So I found something else to fill that niche, such as homemade banana bread or cold cereal that I really liked that wasn't "health-foody" but also not junky sweet cereal (rice chex, kix, etc.) I still ate a lot more than I needed, but it was real food with some nutritional value. Strangely enough, it took a lot less food for me to feel like I'd had enough, probably due to less dramatic blood sugar swings.

Week 3: Now I was ready to change the kind of food I was eating. I felt like I had already lost at least some water weight just from dropping the candy, and my stomach seemed to have "shrunk," so I was satisfied with eating less volume. Here's something that made it much easier to feel satisfied while eating less: go for foods with a "high satiety" factor--in other words, foods high in water and/or especially fiber. A sandwich on 12-grain bread is more filling than the same sandwich on white, for instance. Frozen berries (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries) are available year-round, taste like dessert and are full of fiber. I am a Mexican-food freak and happen to love refried beans (9 grams of fiber per serving). I mean really love them. Like I could eat them every day for a year and never get sick of them. Find high-fiber foods that you love and eat them often! Go for some protein with every meal, too. It gives you energy and helps keep your blood sugar level stable so you are less likely to be starving 1-2 hours later. Drink a lot of water, more than you think you want. Sometimes when you think you're hungry, you're just dehydrated. I hate the taste of tap water, so we get reverse-osmosis filtered water from the food co-op. I carry a Nalgene water bottle with me all day (no leaks, no plastic-y taste, dishwasher safe and they look cool). If you drink soft drinks, switch to diet. At first it tastes nasty but you will get used to it and prefer it eventually, I promise. Non-diet pop is a waste of calories (150 per 12-oz can and no satiety whatsoever). Also, I would recommend sparkling flavored water like La Croix. By the way, during this 3rd week I still was not watching portions or counting calories.

Week 4: I weighed myself for the first time in 2 years and wrote down my starting weight and measurements (bust, waist, hips). Yes, they were big (for me), 184 pounds and size 18W/20 Misses. I was ready to start losing now. I took my measurements once a week. It was motivating for me over the months to see measurable progress and see how far I'd come. I picked a measurement goal, a 30" waist. (This was an 8" loss, which I did achieve.) I didn't care what the weight would be at that size, it's the circumference that counts. I picked that size because it is the size I was between ages 16-27, back when I didn't have to think about what I ate, so I knew it was a healthy size for me and something sustainable.

Still walking 5 days a week, I started adding exercise videos on Tuesday, Thursday, and one weekend day per week. I knew this would work for me because years ago I did exercise videos 6 days a week and kept it up for seven years. I kept some of my old videos and dug out my most beginner-level ones, Firm Basics Fat-Burning Workout and Firm Basics Sculpting With Weights. I used to do these when I needed a "light" day but now they really pushed me even when I used really light weights, modified some of the moves, and didn't do all the repetitions. Gotta start somewhere, though. And weight (strength) training is essential when losing weight. Dieting with aerobic exercise alone you will lose lean muscle mass as well as fat, which lowers your metabolism. You will plateau, gain it all back, and a higher percentage of it will be fat weight, making it even harder to lose.

Week 5: Now I was finally ready to start working on portion control. One mistake many dieters, especially women, make is to cut calories back too much. This will make your body conserve calories because it thingks there is a famine, lowering your metabolism, exactly the thing you don't want. Besides, suffering and misery from trying to live on 1200 calories a day certainly won't help and aren't necessary. Find a calorie caculator that tells you how much you need to eat to maintain your current weight. Here's one I used below.* According to it, I needed 2765-3118 calories a day just to stay at 184 with light to moderate activity. To lose 1-2 pounds a week, I needed to lower that figure by 500-1000 calories. That still left me with about 2000 calories, which for me was plenty to make me feel satisfied but only if I ate mostly nutrient-dense, high-satiety food. This means mostly less-processed or whole foods, not "diet" food. A piece of whole-grain bread dipped in olive oil is a better choice than a white fat-free bagel with fat-free cream cheese, for example. I did (and do) allow myself one "fake food" indulgence--1 can of Diet Cherry Coke a day. Moderation works. Other things I allowed myself: Up to 20% of my calories could be indulgences. Every day I had 1 single slice of extra sharp New York cheddar cheese, (with an apple, in my homemade burrito, etc.) I replaced my candy with high-fiber granola bars. (I recommend the All-Bran ones--I don't like their cereal but their granola bars taste excellent!) I had one or two every day. This eliminated the "I'm feeling deprived" problem, and encouraged me to only eat goodies that were "worth it" as far as calories. If it's worth it, enjoy 1 small piece/serving and then stop. Also, I spread out my food to 5 small meals a day and a normal-size dinner. This meant eating something every 3-4 hours, even if it was just a piece of fruit and a hard-boiled egg. This worked for me and I was never starving.

A lot of people who've sucessfully lost weight and keep it off swear by keeping a food journal--writing down everything you eat and keeping track of calories. I've done it before and it works. But I didn't do it this time because it felt so anal and obsessive-compulsive. I did mentally tally calories, rounding to the nearest 50 or so, from breakfast until my last mini-meal before dinner, making sure it was in the 1000-1300 range. I would then eat dinner normally until I felt satisfied, making an effort to savor the food, not eat too fast, and pay attention to fullness cues. This allowed me to have a break from tracking calories and also re-educate my hunger and fullness signals so I wouldn't have to keep tracking calories like this forever.

Week 9 or 10 or so: I was ready to up the intensity of my video workouts. I bought all 12 of these, which are designed for those over 35 and combine a fusion of cardio, weights, pilates, and yoga. I highly recommend these--you can easily modify them for a range of fitness levels and you will not kill yourself overdoing it. In the old days, like 5-10 years ago, everybody thought if 3 days a week was good, 6 days a week was twice as good! But now we know that's not true. Recovery days are crucial! Muscle building happens when microscopic muscle fibers are torn and then have time to repair themselves, resulting in increased strength. If you keep pushing every day and don't allow any time for repair, they never get a chance to rebuild themselves and you won't get any results except pain and suffering. I still never do more than 3 weight-training workouts a week and get/better results than I did 10 years ago when I was doing it 6 times a week, and it's a lot less work and more fun! Moderation works, and that includes exercise. So at this time I was doing 4 videos a week, one of which was mostly yoga/pilates, and still walking 3 miles 5 days a week. Now that I was exercising more vigorously, I lost an average of 1.5 pounds a week and 1/4" a week on each of my measurements. I had more energy to do things like run up the stairs two at a time, etc. All of this just increased my metabolism, making it ever easier to lose the weight. I never had one single plateau or slowdown in weight loss, even when close to goal. Yeah, Christmas week, when we were out of town on vacation I maintained and didn't lose anything, but I expected that and counted it as a victory (no exercise, lots of meals out and sitting around, etc.).

Things That Kept Up My Motivation Along the Way

1. The feeling of beating the system. I didn't have to spend any money on the diet industry, for programs or special food. The junk food industry also was not being subsidized by me. I always felt that these two industries enable each other, as Americans diet more than ever yet are fatter than ever. I was opting out of the whole system! I also saved a lot of money on gas by walking so much (not supporting our addiction to foreign oil!) I will also save big money down the road by not having to pay enormous health care costs for all of those lifestyle-related illnesses I would have probably succumbed to.

2. Online resources. Here are two excellent free sites full of tools, articles, links, message boards, etc. that I found really helpful:
www.fitday.com
www.sparkpeople.com
www.vitalicious.com . This one is sort of diet-industry related, but I can't recommend these muffins enough, if you're like me and absolutely must have sweet treats every day for life to feel worth living. The only place you can buy them locally is Heinen's, in the frozen dessert section. I bought some of the deep chocolate ones there to try and they are excellent but pricey. If you know you will eat a lot of them regularly, I recommend buying them from this site--it's cheaper per serving in the long run, especially if you order at least 2 dozen at a time. I just love the chocolate ones, and will often sneak one into a movie theater instead of buying overpriced candy or popcorn.

3. Vanity. I started doing this for health reasons but the last 10 pounds were motivated purely by wanting to look my best and wanting to buy clothes from the regular stores again.

4. Support from family and friends. Tell your loved ones you are working on losing weight. If someone else you know is also trying, you can support each other. Some physical activities (hiking, games, etc.) are more fun with others.

That's all I can think of so far. Losing slowly/moderately (1-2 pounds per week) is best, so don't get discouraged if it seems to be taking forever. A good starting goal is 10% of starting weight. That alone will slash your health risks and make you feel so much better.

_________________________
*This is called the Harris-Bennedict formula. I pulled it from an e-book called Burn The Fat, Feed the Muscle (by Tom Venuto). Once you figure out your calorie intake to maintain weight, you can then deduct a % of your cals. BMR=Basic Metabolic Rate

Men: BMR = 66 + (13.7 X wt in kg) + (5 X ht in cm) - (6.8 X age in years)
Women: BMR = 655 + (9.6 X wt in kg) + (1.8 X ht in cm) - (4.7 X age in years)
Note: 1 inch = 2.54 centimeters 1 kilogram = 2.2 lbs.

Example:

You are male
You are 30 yrs old
You are 5' 8 " tall (172.7 cm)
You weigh 172 lbs. (78 kilos)
Your BMR = 66 + 1068 + 863.6 - 204 = 1793 calories/day

Once you know your BMR, you can calculate TDEE by multiplying your BMR by the following activity factor.

Activity factor

Sedentary = BMR X 1.2 (little or no exercise, desk job)
Lightly active = BMR X 1.375 (light exercise/sports 1-3 days/wk)
Mod. active = BMR X 1.55 (moderate exercise/sports 3-5 days/wk)
Very active = BMR X 1.725 (hard exercise/sports 6-7 days/wk)
Extr. Active = BMR X 1.9 (hard daily exercise/sports & physical job or 2 X day training, marathon, football camp, contest, etc.)

Continuing with the previous example:

Your BMR is 1793 calories per day
Your activity level is moderately active (work out 3-4 times per week)
Your activity factor is 1.55
Your TDEE = 1.55 X 1793 = 2779 calories/day

Adjust your caloric intake according to your goal

Once you know your TDEE (maintenance level), the next step is to adjust your calories according to your primary goal. The mathematics of weight control are simple:

1) To keep your weight at its current level, you should remain at your daily caloric maintenance level.
2) To lose weight, you need to create a calorie deficit by reducing your calories slightly below your maintenance level (or keeping your calories the same and increasing your activity above your current level).
3) To gain lean body weight, you must increase your calories above your maintenance level (and engage in a program of progressive resistance training).

Reduce your calories by 15-20% below maintenance for optimal, safe fat loss

A more precise way to determine your correct calorie deficit would be to use a percentage deficit relative to your maintenance level. Reducing calories by 15-20% below maintenance level is a good place to start. A larger deficit (25-30%) might be necessary in some cases, but the best approach would be to keep your calorie deficit from diet small, while increasing your activity level to create a bigger deficit, if needed.

Remember, the larger of a deficit you create, the sooner your body will catch on that you are dieting and the sooner it will start slowing your rate of calorie burning.

Minus 500 method:

Your weight is 172 lbs.
Your TDEE is 2822 calories
Your calorie deficit to lose weight is 500 calories
Your optimal caloric intake for weight loss is 2822 - 500 = 2322 calories

Percentage method:

Your calorie deficit to lose weight is 20% (.20% X 2822 = 564 calories)
Your optimal caloric intake for weight loss = 2258 calories

Jewels: Sculpting Tomorrow's Artists

2006-05-29T17:59:00.000-04:00

Saturday was show day, and the premiere of Galion. I got to wear a new (skinny!) black outfit and play for three pieces, two of which were my original compositions. I felt very privileged that I get to do this. The theater was freezing, as usual, so my hands never fully got warm, and when the curtain went up an even chillier breeze blew onto the stage. I felt a bit of an adrenaline rush but it was just enough to focus me, not enough to make things start falling apart. I thought it went really well and the kids looked beautiful as always.

We weren't allowed to take pics on the theater, even during rehearsal, or the union guys would have a fit, so I took some during the dress rehearsal at the studio on Thursday afternoon. Here are the Level 2 and 3 students in their final pose:

Here are Paul and I in the accompanists' dressing room after the show. What a great evening!

Duelling Pianos

2006-05-29T16:49:00.000-04:00

I have had a very busy week. Last Thursday, I embarked on an adventure at 6:30 am, driving halfway to Columbus to a regional dance festival. I would be accompanying classes for members of various youth ballet companies from all over Ohio, Pennsylvania, New Jersey and New Hampshire, led by the cream of the crop of instructors and paying 75 bucks a class, plus mileage and free food. My first class was scheduled for 8:30 am (ugh) but I was wide-awake and excited.

I arrived at 8:05, where a staff person gave me a tote bag full of goodies (cookies, water bottle, pens, tourist info on Ashland county, etc.) and led me to my first class location. "Some of the locations had pianos but some only had keyboards," he said, adding that some of the other pianists had, shall we say, expressed dissatisfaction with the keyboards the night before.

"Oh, Diva Syndrome!" I said with amusement, adding that I am used to playing a keyboard for class (I play mine for Troy's class twice a week). I was sure I could deal with whatever was there, and I had long ago learned that crappy pianos in the dance studio are simply a fact of life.

So we get to an enormous gymnasium. On one side was a taped-down marley floor with a Yamaha Clavinova (circa 1988) in the corner. I saw Troy and waved, thinking we were going to work together. "No, your space is over there," said my guide, pointing to an identical setup on the other side of the gym.

"Two pianos in one room?! How is that going to work?" I wanted to know. He assured me that they would roll a divider down the middle of the room and that should help some. I wasn't so sure about this but figured they must have thought this through so it must be okay. I checked out my keyboard, noting the volume was set only halfway to the max. Well, I guess it won't be that loud, I thought.

The divider, a thin vinyl sheet with nothing but mesh on the top third, was rolled down. Of course, it did absolutely nothing to mute the sound from the other side of the room. I heard Troy's voice giving the first exercise to his class, and then the music from the other guy's keyboard filled the room as if its speakers were directly in front of us. Uh-oh.

My instructor, Nina Danilova, started showing her combination. I couldn't hear her at all and when I started playing, could hardly hear myself. I turned up the volume to three quarters max. I could now hear myself, but the other guy still sounded louder. Plus, the instrument, although cutting edge technology in 1988, only has 16-note polyphony. This means that with the pedal down, once you play 16 notes either as chords or as a series, the first ones you played start cutting out. It sounded disjointed and all cut up, which certainly didn't help the 50 or so students in my side of the room hear any better. They couldn't even hear me well enough to tell whether they were on the music, so they were always ahead or behind me.

Eventually a staff person came in with an extension cord and I moved away from the wall and toward the middle of the space where we could hear each other a little better. Nina and I developed a system where, when I saw that they were off, I would yell out the counts. Oh, I forgot to mention that I was going on only about 4-5 hours of sleep so my focus wasn't the greatest. But I was eventually able to focus enough to shut out the other pianist so at least it wouldn't throw me off.

It was kind of cold in there but I had the foresight to bring a long-sleeved shirt. At precisely 11:00 am, halfway through my second class, a huge, earthquake-like rumbling sound engulfed the room. Big thunderstorm outside, I thought. But no. It was followed by grinding and whooshing of gigantic industrial-strength fans directly overhead. Blowing cold air, I might add. Just what we needed, a white noise machine! Now it was even harder to hear, and also freezing. The staff person came back saying they were working on getting it turned off, which never did happen.

At lunch in the Ashland University cafeteria (which had very good food, I might add), I sat with some of the other pianists, including the one I had "duelled" with, and laughingly shared our horror story with the others. It turned out that on his side of the room, all they could hear was me! We all agreed that whoever thought this setup was a good idea was seriously lacking something upstairs.

New Arrival: Galion

2006-05-24T22:29:00.000-04:00

Proud mama Karin Tooley is pleased to announce

the birth of her newest composition

Galion*

started onThursday, May 18, 2005

finished on Wednesday, May 24, 2005

8.5 minutes long

This is the longest piece I've ever composed. Michael didn't finish setting the choreography until last Friday. We thought it was going to be 4 minutes, maybe 5, but turned out to be twice as long! Not wanting to have a symphony's worth of material, I managed to develop just one main motif throughout the piece. At first it seemed lame and overly repetitive, but I'm very pleased at how it came out. I hardly wrote anything down--who has time?!--and have already memorized it.

It is now on endless loop in the soundtrack of my mind. Every time I hear or play it for the rest of my life, it will remind me of this week. It's nice to know I've still got it. I can compose, even though I never do it unless for a performance and a deadline.

*This is Michael's title for the choreography. Curious, I googled it and came up with nothing except a small town in Ohio. I asked him how he came up with the title, and he said he saw the signs for the town when driving recently. The piece is a sort of fairy tale and the title sounds a little otherworldly.

Idle Hands and All That...

2006-05-17T16:19:00.000-04:00

So here it is the middle of May. My job at Case is over for the summer, so I now have all this extra time in the mornings. Most days I don't have anything scheduled until 4 pm. What a perfect opportunity to clean up my Windsong repertoire for this Saturday's performance and compose something decent for the modern piece for the Cleve. School of Dance performance the following Saturday.

Only I haven't been doing any of it. My horrible procrastination tendency has been rearing its ugly head. Until today, the weather has been crappy for a week (48 degrees and pouring all day). I'm not usually such a baby about weather, but man, this depressed my mood. I've been sleeping too much, spending way too much time on the internets, and had two very bad days foodwise (Monday and yesterday).

I know I'm not "cured" as far as the sweets go, and I don't think I ever totally will be. I have been keeping some around the house and mostly have been able to eat them in moderation. Well, moderation for me--that would be a few small pieces of hard candy+ 1 serving of Good Stuff (premium ice cream, dark chocolate, etc.) per day. It works for me--I enjoy it, I don't overdo it, and I can maintain my weight. But, oh lately, I have been reading and just snarfing the stuff down like I used to, only my gut got disturbed (to put it delicately) before I ever got near the quantities I used to eat. Bleah, that felt nasty!

At least now my body won't let me do what I used to do without penalty. At least I have still been keeping up my workouts and not letting that slide, too. At least today I gave myself a new start, and am having no problem whatsoever steering clear of self-sabotaging behavior. Two bad days isn't really much in the big picture, so I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

I'ts interesting to pay attention to my food triggers. The procrastination mindset is the worst, followed by boredom/insufficient stimulation. Periods of underemployment, which unfortunately are part of this career, are times I need to be especially vigilant. I really can't afford to feel that crappy. Next step: start on my practicing and composing. I feel my usual good self now, and the weather has cleared up. No more excuses!

Music: Connecting With the Spirit

2006-05-07T01:22:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow's church service is about connecting to the spirit through music and art. I've volunteered to speak for a few minutes about my experience. Of course, I've spent the whole week procrastinating writing out my thoughts. So here it is, almost 1:30 in the morning the night before, but I finally finished. Here it is.

Music: Connecting With the Spirit

My earliest experiences in life, before I can even remember, had music. My parents had a very small record collection, maybe half a dozen, and played them over and over while I was in utero. My mother sang and played the autoharp and a little piano. One of my earliest memories was wildly dancing around the living room to whatever was playing on the stereo. I was maybe 3 or 4 years old, still at that pre-self-concious age when it is effortless to live fully in the moment, totally connected to the spirit. When I was upset and nothing else would calm me down, my mom would play one of our records and it always worked. There is something about rhythm (like a heartbeat) and melody (like a breath) that can take us back to the time in the womb. It is profoundly comforting and centering, and surprisingly powerful and universal.

Starting in my childhood, and to this day, if I listen to the noisiness of my brain, there is always a constant musical soundtrack. It can be anything from a simple rhythm to a song from my childhood, to a symphony I heard on the radio yesterday, to a repeating phrase caught in an endless loop. Sometimes, when I'm really paying attention, I notice what thought in my mind triggered that particular music. When the song "Somebody Done Sombody Wrong" enters the playlist, for instance, maybe I've unintentionally upset someone by something I've said or done and this is the spirit's way of calling it to my attention.

Certain pieces of music get tied to certain memories or experiences for me. Hearing a top-40 song from junior high will take me right back to 7th grade. I can practically smell the raspberry lip gloss and feel the heart palpitations as I pass by my first crush opening his locker, both hoping and fearing he'll look up and notice I'm alive. 1812 Overture? A muggy July night, fireflies twinkling, the smell of suphur as the fireworks boom. Silent Night? Echoes of every Christmas in my memory, especially singing by candlelight with my church community on Christmas Eve. These musical memories I have in common with others in my age group, culture, or religious community help me feel easily connected with them.

I've used music to get me through a hard time. Sometimes when I'm too upset to cry, a song or a sonata will open the floodgates. If I need to wallow in misery for a while, the perfect piece of music is just what I need. If I don't have the luxury of falling apart, or I need a break from the misery, another piece of music will provide me a lifeline, a much needed distraction, or a beacon of hope that things will get better. When I'm feeling apathetic or unmotivated, listening or playing some music usually helps me feel engaged and interested again.

Besides all of these things, I also use music as my main spiritual practice, much as someone else would use yoga, prayer or meditiation. When I hear certain pitches, I see certain colors associated with those pitches. I've had this my whole life, since before I knew notes had names. So when I hear music, it's like an impressionistic kaleidescope. If I'm listening or learning with the analytical part of my brain, splashes of color might be superimposed over images of notes on the page. Or my brain will come up with an architectural pattern or shape of the structure of the whole piece, with big sections, subsections, phrases, and individual notes all color-coded. This makes it really easy to memorize things--it's like having the answer book in front of you! I've had a third of a century of experience since I started learning to play the piano, so a lot of things that used to be awkward and labored are now effortless and second nature.

When you're just starting out, you're just worried about getting through what comes next without making a mistake. When you have to conciously think about every little thing, you're so preoccupied with that that there is no room for the big picture. Once you get the notes, then you can think about expression. I have been through this cycle countless times. In fact, I go through a miniature version of it to this day every time I learn a new piece. It's like a spiral of details-expression-communication, getting to an ever higher level every time I go around the circle. Technical refinement and perspective from life experience over the years has gotten me away from getting stuck in the details and closer to focusing on the pure expression and the big picture.

Sometimes I even have moments of transcendence, where nothing exists but the music and I am engrossed by all the pretty colors resolving themselves. Most days I have at least a few seconds of this. This is as close as I can get to feeling oneness with everything. For me, music is a metaphor for my life. It's full of little details. It's so easy to get bogged down in the minutae, constantly trying not to mess up. But this life has something larger. Maybe my music practice can help me see it.

Same Hobby, Different Focus

2006-04-22T17:35:00.000-04:00

Remember how I said I need a new hobby now, now that I'm done with the weight loss project?* Well, I've really come to enjoy exercise, how it makes me feel, and how much more it enables my body to do, so I've been taking my fitness to the next level since reaching my weight loss goal on March 20.

That week I upped my heaviest dumbells to 15 lbs (up from 12 lbs) for my 12 WHFN workout DVDs, making me pretty sore all over again for the first 2 weeks. I also started to challenge my stability and balance by doing all the stick-assisted segments without the stick and standing on one leg for upper-body dumbell work. These workouts are still great after 6 months and are still moderately challenging, but I figured it was time to mix in some new, harder ones to shake things up a bit.

After much research, I ordered four new DVDs from Tracie Long Training that have an emphasis on functional fitness and core strength. They just came this week. I've done two so far, and they are butt-kickers! Quite a bit more challenging and I'm sore in all kinds of weird places. (Only medium-sore, not run-over-by-a-truck sore, but then I'm working light because I don't know the choreography yet.)

Paul pulled out his library of yoga tapes for me to try on off days, as there isn't as much stretching (which I desperately need) on these new workouts. My flexibility is approaching average, but everything on the back of my body is still super tight so there's lots of room for improvement.

I still walk to work at Case every day, but Case will be over on May 1. I know I won't be so likely to do it without the motivation of saving gas, getting from Point A to Point B, etc. so my plan is to walk to my job at the Cleveland School of Dance (7.6 mile round trip) twice a week. I walked 7.5 miles one day last week when I was getting maintenance done on my car--it was energizing and didn't make me sore or tired at all.

So here's my plan:

Monday: 7.6 mile walk
Tuesday: DVD workout
Wednesday: 7.6 mile walk
Thursday: Yoga or Pilates DVD workout
Friday: DVD workout ( hard one)
Saturday: rest
Sunday: DVD workout+ short yoga tape

*By the way, maintenance rocks! While still watching my portions most of the time, I am enjoying eating more, including candy, and not having to be so anal. I take my measurements once a week and am happy to report that all have either stayed the same or gone down slightly.

Spring Has Sprung

2006-04-16T20:40:00.000-04:00

Our "spring foliage" season, like the fall foliage season, is really short--about 6 weeks. Well, maybe eight. Last year, I did a spring photo project to capture the beauty of the flowers that grow along my walk to work and in our neighborhood. It helped me feel like I didn't blink and miss it, like I usually did in the past. I haven't taken a lot of pictures lately, but on Friday I took a few of flowers that I missed last time.

Today, Easter, was one of those rare occasions when Paul & I both are off work during the daytime. This won't happen again until Memorial Day (not the weekend, the actual day). It's like a harmonic convergence. We always savor this kind of time because it's so rare.

I played for church this morning. Even though Easter at the Unitarian Universalist Society is just another Sunday, I still felt the urge to wear something springy and dressy with no black in it, so we were a little extra dressed up. I'm glad I kept one of my old skirts that I love and couldn't bear to give away even though now it's 3 sizes too big for me. I have a new coral pink shell (that fits) that I wore over it, not tucked in of course, and just gathered the skirt's waistline together with a paperclip because I couldn't find a safety pin. I like how I feel in this pretty outfit and it helped make the day feel special.

After church, a group of us decided to go out for lunch on Coventry. All the restaurants were closed for Easter, so we ended up carpooling for a short drive to the diner on Lee Road. I'd never been before, and it was great! We had turkey burgers and sweet potato fries (delicious!) and, as always with this group, thoughtful and fun conversation.

Then Paul and I stopped at the Lakeview Cemetery on our way home to take the Flower Tour. It's daffodil season here and the flowers are in their prime. There's one hill there that reputedly has 10,000 daffodils growing on it:

Here's one of both of us in our Easter finery:

We went to the Garfield Memorial and took in the view from the observation balcony. You can see Case Western Reserve University with downtown and the lake in the background.

When we got home, we enjoyed a nap, followed by a little egg decorating and enjoyment of Dove dark chocolate foil-wrapped Easter eggs (highly recommended) and listening to some chamber music we'd like to learn this summer. All in all, a very enjoyable day!

ABT Weekend

2006-03-22T22:05:00.000-05:00

Over the weekend I got to play for 4 warm-up classes for the American Ballet Theatre when they were in town. Conveniently, Case was on spring break so I was free in the mornings. I decided to walk to Playhouse Square on Thursday and Friday since it's not that far away (5.2-mile round trip). This gave me a nice light workout and saved me the hassle of finding parking.

This company is one of the premier ballet companies in the world. The dancers are extremely musical as well as technically breathtaking. It is an honor and pleasure to play for them. The ballet master was very easy to follow, clear and musical, and moved at a super-fast pace. I abstained from caffeine all weekend, knowing the slight adrenaline buzz would be plenty to keep me awake and alert. I played my best stuff, including original compositions, symphony excerpts, show tunes, etc.

Saturday was a master class for advanced-level area students (62 of them, it turned out!) taught by 22-year-old company member Craig Salstein. He was adorable--he looks a little like a young Matthew Broderick. He got very intense and passionate while teaching, never losing his charm. He would signal me to start with varying theatrical gestures that cracked me up.

On St. Patrick's Day, I started the class with "Danny Boy" (which I only play once a year). This turned out to be a big hit with some of the ABT dancers from South America. Turns out they know a pop song that uses the same melody, so on Sunday I got a request to play it again. When I did, a few of them burst into spontaneous applause. That made me feel great. I mean, these dancers have heard it all when it comes to accompanists.

On Saturday night, Paul & I went to see them perform Le Corsaire, a nineteenth-century story ballet about a pirate and his love for a harem girl. Paul and I giggled at the cheesy bodice-ripper plot idea. It sounds like fodder for a role-playing fantasy. ("You be the studly, well-endowed stable boy and I'll be the innocent, busty milkmaid.") In spite of that, the ballet really was gorgeous. Unlike, say, Swan Lake, there was a lot of action for the men in this one. Seeing the men jump and levitate in the air so effortlessly was really something to see.

I've Made Goal!!

2006-03-14T20:42:00.000-05:00

Well, technically I am jumping the gun a tiny bit posting this, since I still have 1/4" left to lose on my waist, but I consider that a rounding error. If I were the type to go through life sucking my stomach in (I'm not), I would already be there and then some. At the rate I'm going, I will have lost it by this coming Monday---and then I will be done with this weight loss project!!

I have lost 40 pounds in 6 months! Here are some stats:

Bust: -7.0 inches
Waist: -7.5 inches
Hips: -6.75 inches
Thighs: -4.25 inches each
Total Body Volume: -5.26 gallons*
Percentage of original body weight lost: 21.74. (I'm only 78.26% of the woman I used to be!)

*I read somewhere that 7.6 pounds of fat=1 gallon. Weird thought.

________________________________________________________________
I have been looking forward to posting my Before and After pictures for months. Here I am Before:

August, 2005. Here's another from the same trip, and you can see better what I looked like without the big shirt. I was probably above what I think of as my starting weight of 184.

Mostly I felt I looked at least okay, although I tired easily and my feet often hurt. However, there were some views I almost never got to see that were a bit eye-opening. This pic of the back rolls was one of the catalysts that helped me decide I wanted to do something about it.

___________________________________________

And now (my favorite part!) the After photos, taken this afternoon. Here I am in new clothes I bought last week, still glowing from my workout:

I saved my biggest pair of jeans just for these next two pics--they are the same ones I was wearing in the Before pic above. (I always wanted to do the Cheesy Weight-Loss Product Ad pose.) They look a little different on me now:

I promise this is the last weight-loss post I'll make. Maintenance is just too uneventful to blog about. I'll still do the same amount of exercise, and I'll eat the same way, just a little more food, like having my sandwiches with 2 pieces of bread instead of one. I know, having learned the hard way, that if I want to keep this up, I'll have to stay mindful of what I eat (at least most of the time) for the rest of my life. But now that I've made the commitment for a lifestyle change, I plan to be successful at it. I'm even giving away all of my old clothes tomorrow, not keeping them "in case I gain." You read it here first.

I'm gonna need a new hobby now.

March is Jam-Packed With Activities

2006-03-11T22:15:00.000-05:00

So many things are going on this month. First of all, the Cleveland International Film Festival March 16-26. I love this event--people talk about film while waiting in line, you get to vote on the films, and you can see things you just don't see anywhere else, like shorts, foreign films, and documentaries, not to mention foreign documentaries. (You may think I'm kidding, but I have one in my lineup of films to see!) I received my 12 CIFF vouchers that I won at the church auction last fall, and spent much of today eagerly poring over the festival guide to make my picks. I've learned over the years that, at least for me, seeing more than 6 films in the 10-day period triggers the law of diminishing returns, and it just gets to be too much to digest, so I'll have a few vouchers left to give away.

In the midst of this, American Ballet Theatre will be performing (and I'll be playing for their warm-up classes). I'm not so sure we'll be going, because there is only so much culture one can digest in a week.

Tomorrow, Paul, Sharon and I will be playing some chamber music for the church service. It's a really great piece and we sound good together. Last night we had a rehearsal at our house, with the piano newly tuned, and we were really enjoying ourselves. It's kind of a loud piece and I didn't realize how late it was getting (10 pm) until our next door neighbor rang our doorbell and told us, "Please, please stop!" (This only happened once before and that was 6 months ago.)

Fortunately we were just about done anyway, but my mood deflated like a balloon. Most of the time they're not even in town (and therefore not around to complain) so it's easy to forget that it might bother them. I know it was a reasonable request, but still. When other people are loud, it just doesn't bother me, after spending 20 or so years in apartments next to fraternities and practicing conservatory students. Paul says it's moments like these that are the only thing that makes him consider moving some day. But I think, no matter where you live, there's always going to be something. If we lived in a traditional single-family home, we would have to do yardwork, which neither of us is into at all. I think we've got it pretty good.

"Rate My Life" Quiz

2006-03-01T15:30:00.000-05:00

Just for fun, I took this online quiz. Some of these quizzes are off-the-wall ("What Kind of Fruit Are You?") but this one asks questions that actually make sense. My results were pretty much what I expected, except "Friends & Family" was lower than I would have thought:

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	8.3
Mind:	7.9
Body:	8.2
Spirit:	7
Friends/Family:	5.6
Love:	9.1
Finance:	8.5
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

I guess that's because I answered "1 or 2" when it asked how many good friends I have. (Hi, Darce!) I guess it depends on your definition of "good." I have a lot of church friends who I really connect with, but we don't invest a ton of energy in getting closer. Some energy, yes--we go out to lunch, invite each other to our parties, are involved in covenant groups and church activities together, and have occasionally provided support for each other during hard times. But it's not like we call each other or hang out on a regular basis.

I've always been one to invest most of my relationship energy into my significant other. I think I've gotten better but that's still my default setting. Is that so terrible?

"I Thought He Brought Somebody Else!"

2006-02-25T23:03:00.000-05:00

Paul and I have been able to consistently take our ballroom dance lessons every two weeks since New Years, and we're really making excellent progress. We always make an effort to go to the Saturday night dance party at the Cavana Ballroom the same day as our lesson so we can solidify and practice what we've just learned. Well, besides, it's really fun!

Tonight I wore my black stretch pants and one of my new tops that fits close to the body (it has some spandex). I must say, it sure is fun to dress like this--I feel like a different person. Since we're only there at most twice a month, we are always greeting people we haven't seen in a while. Four or five different people complemented me on my weight loss and said I look great!

I have to share the comments from one older couple that cracked us up.

She: You look like you've lost a lot of weight.
Me: I have.
She: You look great!
Me (beaming): Thank you!
He (to Paul): You know, I saw you here a couple of weeks ago, and (to his wife) I thought he brought somebody else!
She: We didn't recognize you.
He: But then I realized, That's his wife!
She (to Paul): And we knew you weren't that type.

A Rosy Day

2006-02-16T13:38:00.000-05:00

I admit it--I love Valentine's Day. I enjoy holidays, including birthdays, as a chance to make a day special and different from all the rest. Paul and I are freakishly well-adjusted and take the time and energy make each other feel appreciated every day, so I don't need to read meanings into what he decides to give me, or even whether he gives me anything. I know that sounds smug, but it's really true. I think he's been traumatized in the past, having been "tested" and found wanting when it comes to symbolic gestures. And Lord knows I've been guilty in the past of investing all sorts of meaning, intentional or not, into what kind of thought went into a romantic gift.

For holidays, we "pre-decide" and discuss what we are going to do for gifts. Yes, it removes the elements of surprise and spontaneity, but it also removes the fallout that comes with poor communication. For Valentine's Day, he got chocolates and I made heart-shaped cookies. We both brought flowers (unexpected and sweet, and now we have two bouquets!). I had to work until 8:00, so Paul made dinner, easy poached salmon from Andrew Weil's book that was also the first meal he ever cooked for me. We ate at home by candlelight, had good wine, listened to Sinatra, and went to bed early. ;-)

Lift & Separate...Well, Certainly Lift!

2006-02-01T22:02:00.000-05:00

I just couldn't put it off any longer. I've been wearing my old bras for over a year, and they would have been stretched out and useless even if I hadn't lost weight, but now they are truly sad, even a little deflated looking. So Monday night I hit the lingerie department at Dillard's (I'm too small for Lane Bryant anything now!) to buy 3 new bras and 10 pairs of new underwear. I've gone down two band sizes (to a 34) and back down to a regular large (size 7) underwear, and boy, does it feel great! (Yesterday I couldn't wait to get out of bed so I could wear my new bra--what a difference. I felt extra energized all day.)

While I was there, I checked out pants to replace my beige chinos that now gape horribly at the waist, and bought a pair of stone-colored linen pants by Calvin Klein at 75% off that fit me perfectly right now....and they're size 12! Yes, I know, insert vanity sizing/non-standardized women's clothing sizing disclaimer here, but still, that felt energizing. For good measure, I also got a pair of black slacks with purple pinstripes, different brand, also a size 12.

Monday and yesterday, I spent a lot of time sewing to alter my clothes, hemming both of my new pairs of pants and taking in 5 of my favorite Lane Bryant blouses that I love and don't want to have to get rid of. (God, I'm becoming such a girly-girl! But the health makeover has become my main hobby and now it's turning into a looks-makeover as well.)

At first I started this to improve my health. When I started out I was just over the obese threshhold (30.1 on the BMI calculator) and realized I had to do something about it or else be at high risk of diabetes, heart disease, etc. Now, at 32 pounds down, my BMI is 24.9, just under the overweight threshhold. I am now officially a minority, the 1 out of 3 American adults who is not overweight or obese! These last 12 pounds are completely for vanity, baby. And vanity as motivator is sure working for me these days.

This is What 30 Looks Like

2006-01-23T22:51:00.000-05:00

...30 pounds, that is.

I celebrated by buying a few new tops. Here I am wearing one of them with the Muffin Top pants, which currently look great as long as I'm standing up. :-)

Good Karma

2006-01-23T22:23:00.000-05:00

Wow. The Karma Fairies are really smiling down at me today. My stunt that saved the day at the BalletMet audition a couple of weeks ago moved them to send a thank-you note and a check that was more than the gig paid me in the first place!

Dear Karin,

Thank you so much for "going the extra mile" (literally) for us at our audition. You saved the day for us and we could not have done the audition without your quick thinking and extra effort.

Please use the enclosed gift to treat yourself.

Sincerely,

Chris Rogers
BalletMet

This is awesome! I am going to treat myself when I get a chance to go to Sephora and use my gift card Darcy gave me for my birthday, as I'm running low on several goodies at once.

On another ballet-related note, tonight was $5.00 noght at the Cedar Lee movie theatre, so I went to see Ballets Russes, a documentary on the 20th Century dance troupe that, as I learned, actually brought ballet to most of America. There were tons of stunning archival footage interspersed with interviews with some of the dancers, now in their 80s and 90s.

Also, a lot of the music, soundtracks to the pieces choreographed decades ago on the company, were pieces I play for class all the time, that I didn't even know were used in a ballet ever!

I actually owe a lot of what I do for a living to the Ballets Russes, when I think about it. They almost singlehandedly brought ballet to American conciousness.

I Look Like My Dog

2006-01-19T14:36:00.000-05:00

These I Look Like My Dog contest winners are impressively hillarious!

Saturday's Windsong Concert

2006-01-18T21:04:00.000-05:00

Last weekend, Windsong performed our winter concert to a capacity (240+) crowd. My hands never got warm the entire time, though I think that was due more to adrenaline than the coolness of the room, but we did an excellent job! Here a really cool review. (Only one quibble--she says I provided "occasional" accompaniment. I guess that's true if by "occasional," one means "only" 75% of the songs.)

Muffin Tops (Boring, Girly Weight-Loss/Body Size Post)

2006-01-13T14:13:00.000-05:00

Our house is cold, I constantly wear sweaters, and my fingers and toes never get warm unless I'm exercising, but I keep reminding myself: body trying to keep warm=higher metabolism!

I lost a freakish 3.0 more pounds between Jan. 2 and Jan. 9, which includes another 1/4" on all measurements, so I am now down 28.5 pounds! And this in a week that included no walking, short (1 job) workdays (except Sunday!), and cookies and/or chocolate every single day. I celebrated by wearing my new size 14 Target jeans Monday and Tuesday. They're still a bit snug--if they weren't stretch there's no way I could have done it--and I have serious "muffin tops" over the waistband, necessitating a strict "all shirts long and untucked" policy, but I bet they'll fit in a month. (I wish I had made up the term "muffin tops." But I actually learned it from one of those lists of Top 10 New Words of 2005. Here is an example of the word used in an article. It was the first Google result after a search for "muffin tops." Oh, here's a link that's even better--an entry from the Double-Tongued Word Wrester Dictionary, complete with word history!)

I just saw this article in Newsweek about the importance of core muscle strength for long-term health (yoga, pilates, etc.). My workout DVDs incorporate this training, and I already notice my back is a lot less sore. I gave Mouchie my ugly office chair and now use an exercise ball to sit at the computer, and sitting at a backless piano bench all day is a lot easier! Mouchie loves the chair, too--he sleeps on it, sheds on it, and uses it as a horizontal scratching post. At first I discouraged this behavior, but I've noticed it's saving wear and tear on the office futon. :-)

Surprisingly, I didn't gain any weight or girth over the Houston trip, despite lots of sitting, no exercise, meals out, and a party full of Texas-style entrees and an entire table full of homemade brownies, cakes, and cookies. I actually lost .5 pound that week, don't ask me how. That included the closest thing to a binge I've had since September--eating 24 oz of Jelly Bellies and saltwater taffy from a gift shop all by myself over 2 days. I guess that actually is a binge. :-S Strangely, we can have massive amounts of chocolate in the house and I won't do that. But I just can't handle the soft, chewy candies. Well, part of it was the "I'm on vacation/holiday" syndrome, which, mercifully, ended the day after we got home. Even that amount (I used to eat at least 24 oz of candy every day!) made me feel icky and gave me nasty gastrointestinal side effects. You'd think that would be a deterrent, but I still didn't stop. Oh well, my goal was just to maintain over the vacation, which I still managed to do.

Don't worry, I am not going to waste away! I started out with a 37.75" waist, and my goal is a 30" waist. (I have exactly 3" to go and I'll be there.) I don't even care what the other measurements are. Last time I was that size, I was at 140 pounds. I'm realizing as I get closer that my waist might not be that small at 140 this time (10 years older), so I might end up shooting for 135 or so. We'll see.

An Unintended Workout

2006-01-08T22:22:00.000-05:00

I knew today was going to be jam-packed, but I had no idea just how much I would end up doing today. Here was my schedule:

9:30-10:30 UU Choir practice at chuch
10:45-12:00 Play for church service with choir singing
12:30-1:30 Potluck lunch, yak with friends
1:30-2:00 The first 1/2 hour of Worship Committee meeting, which I have to leave early from so I can get downtown in time for
2:30-4:00 Gig playing for audition class for BalletMet's Summer Intensive workshop. I then leave ASAP to arrive as soon as possible (though I will still be late) for
4:00-6:00 Windsong rehearsal (concert is this Saturday). Then I rush back to church for
6:30-8:30 Building Your Own Theology Class.

But how could anything else possibly fit into this schedule? you're probably thinking. Well, here's the story. Everything went great until I arrived downtown for the audition gig. It was held at the West Studio at the State Theatre (part of Playhouse Square). I have been gigging there intermittently for the past 18 years, and (other than it sometimes being chilly or the piano being out of tune) never have had any problems there. So I really didn't expect the scenario that awaited me.

I got there 10 minutes early (like a good little professional). I stuck my head inside the studio and noticed something unusual--the piano was gone. I glanced down the hallway and saw (what I thought was) the back of an upright piano against the wall. I introduced myself to the instructor and asked if there was someone who could help me move it back into the studio. She volunteered herself, and as we approached the "piano," we realized it was just a prop from the opera. The opera people were in the other studio, but there was only one piano in there and they were using it. Uh-oh.

I went down to the security guard, who first asked me if I had "ordered a piano" for the studio. He found the invoice, and, what do you know, there was the piano request in writing. He made a call to a worker, who was on break from 2:00-3:00. These are union guys, he explained. If he made them work during their break, they would charge double. They wouldn't be back until at least 3 and then they still had to "locate" a piano and then bring it up the freight elevator. I figured that, since the audition was over at 4 and it was now 2:30, by the time they got their act together it would be too late.

So after relaying this unwelcome information to the instructor, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I ran like a bat out of hell back to my car (3 minutes), drove home, making all the lights and only speeding a little bit (9 minutes), ran up the stairs to grab my little keyboard and accessories and back out to the car (2 minutes), and drove back downtown to my same parking spot (10 minutes). Fortunately, it was a nice, dry day. I then slung the 15-pound bag of accessories over my shoulder, tucked the 20-pound keyboard under one arm, and galumphed back to the studio and up the stairs (4 minutes). Smiling ballet moms greeted me and held doors for me. The instructor was beside herself with relief. "Oh, you're beautiful!" she exclaimed ecstatically.

She started showing an exercise when I entered the room, and by the time she'd finished I was all plugged in, set up, and ready to play (60 seconds).

Another example of how my regular workouts are paying off!
Total time spent saving the day: 25 minutes
Cardio minutes: 8
Strength training minutes: 6
Total minutes in target heart-rate zone: at least 25. Nothing like a beat-the-clock challenge to rev up the ol' metabolism!

Now my little keyboard is woefully inadequate for a ballet class. It only has 5 octaves. The touch is hard to control. I've banged it up over the past 13 years and some notes cause a rattling vibration or stick out too much or don't sound. But nobody cared. They were just so thrilled I was able to fix the problem.

The Great Purge of 2006

2006-01-05T15:08:00.000-05:00

I did something today to celebrate my 25-pound weight loss milestone--I indulged in a huge purge. Oh no, you're thinking, don't tell me she's developing an EATING DISORDER?! Oh no, my little chickadees. Besides knowing that that's totally f****d up, I loathe vomiting and find the idea of doing it on purpose alien and vile.

On the contrary, I spent the morning purging my closet of unwearable clothes, something I haven't done in 4 years. Most of my pants and jeans are now swimmingly huge on me, to the point where even a belt doesn't work. All of my summer clothes from post-2002 look laughably dumpy, as they billow shapelessly around me with huge armpit holes and saggy waists.

A mood-booster: a little dark green dress and sweater set, labeled size 14 (not 14W, but Misses 14) fits me as well as it did in the summer of 2000! Can it be that I've now lost 5 1/2 years' worth of weight gain?!

I also put in the pile clothes I've had forever that now fit me, but didn't age well or just look too dowdy or out of style. I gave everything the benefit of the doubt, and tried everything on. Anything which inspired me to say, "You will never, ever wear this!" went in the pile.

I ended up with 2 kitchen garbage bags full of neatly folded clothes (about 50 pounds) and just got back from getting rid of them forever at the Goodwill. Boy, does that ever feel good!

On Monday, I went to Target to buy a "transitional" pair of jeans, as all of my denim is too big for me now. I got a pair of size 14 stretch jeans that almost fit me now. They still cause a bulge above the waistline so I probably won't wear them for another 3-4 weeks, but they already feel comfortable. I'm really, really getting there!

January Health Update Stats:

60% toward goal
Weight: -25.5 pounds
Bust: -4.0"
Waist: -4.5"
Hips: -3.75"
Thigh: -3.0"

Random Coincidence

2006-01-04T14:04:00.000-05:00

I have morning off this week, and as usual, instead of doing something productive, I have been catching up on all my favorite web haunts I randomly came across this article about people who crash weddings. Imagine my surprise when, getting down to the last part of the article, "Todd" (in picture above) turns out to be Angus MacLane. Now he's an animator at Pixar, but once he was the 3-year-old down the street who was the first kid I ever babysat when I was 13. I babysat him and his little sister for the next five years. It's moments like this when the world just seems really small.

Birthday Weekend

2006-01-02T20:35:00.000-05:00

My birthday was Friday and I'm 41 now. I love celebrating birthdays, no matter how old I get and I've never felt the need to be "discreet" about my age. So far every decade has been better than the last and I have no reason to expect the 40s to be any different. I like being this age--old enough to have some perspective on life and young enough to still feel pretty good physically.

Actually, I feel a lot better than I did on my 40th. It was nice this year, for one thing, for my entire family, Paul, and myself not to be violently ill with the flu.

I had a wonderful day Friday. After a workout, Paul took me to see Brokeback Mountain (which I highly recommend). An early dinner at Lopez followed, a heavenly chicken enchilada suiza with a kickass margarita--my favorite cuisine plus my favorite drink. It was so deliciously satisfying, I didn't need to eat for the rest of the day.

After dark, we went to see the holiday decorating and lighting display at Stan Hywet Hall, which, although it was cold and crowded, was beautiful and very fun. When I got home, I returned calls of all the family members who called to wish me a happy birthday. All in all, it was a great way to start my own personal new year.

Speaking of the New Year, we went out dancing at the Cavana Ballroom, where we take our lessons. Last time we did this, two years ago, my feet killed me for a whole day after dancing off and on for 4 hours. But now that I'm in better shape and weigh 25.5 pounds less (yay me!), the only discomfort I felt in my feet was not from the dancing, but from the fact that my dance shoes have a 1.5" heel and no arch support, and my toes kept jamming into the tip of the shoes from gravity, which I am not used to.

We had a catered dinner and met some new people, who took this pic of us:

I'm wearing my new jacket that Mom & Ron gave me for my birthday, and that I've been living in for the past 4 days. Took it off to dance, though!

At about 11 pm, we were treated to an exhibition dance by our instructor Jim and his wife Suzanne. She played the role of Jessica Rabbit, complete with bright orange wig and body-hugging dress with fake boobs, knocking the men dead with her wiles. It was cute and very entertaining.

We had a midnight countdown with champagne punch and a balloon drop, followed by more dancing. I have high hopes that 2006 will be a great year!

Texas Family Reunion

2006-01-02T14:50:00.000-05:00

You know, I was expecting Texas to be more of a foreign country. Well, beautiful 70-80 degree weather right after Christmas was a pretty dramatic shift. And it is true, everything's bigger there. Even the traffic lights are 2-3 miles apart, and it takes at least 45 minutes to go anywhere there. We passed by signs pointing out Tom DeLay's district and the Halliburton headquarters--we were definitely in BushCroneyland.

Most of our time was spent near where Paul's brother David lived. All of us visiting family members stayed at the Holiday Inn about 2-3 miles from David's house, and spent most of our time hanging out together talking, eating, driving, and eating some more, having an overall good time.

We all first met, some of us straight from the airport, at a Sears portrait studio for family pictures. Paul's family always does this at reunions, as they tend to happen only once every decade or so. I think it's a great idea.

We decided to get some taken of the two of us, and I think they turned out pretty cute.

We ordered prints, including some wallet-sized ones, plus a CD of all of the images so if people want to make calendars, cards, extra prints, etc, just email me and I'll send you the original jpeg file. You can see them all here, along with the pics I took during the rest of our trip.

I really enjoyed meeting and hanging out with Paul's people. Everybody knew not to talk about inflammatory topics, so there was no weirdness on that issue. I loved seeing family resemblance here and there, and seeing family photo albums.

You have to see this pic. It's Paul's grandmother holding a tuba with Paul's father in it! :-)

That Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2005-12-25T19:19:00.000-05:00

Well, one of them, anyway! Yesterday, Darcy came by to visit for a few hours. We spent the whole time just yakking, catching up on all the topics we miss in our phone conversations, exchanging fun presents, and indulging in our annual photo session--this is the third Christmas Eve we've done this. It was so good to see her. It meant a lot to me.

We thought we'd shoot some obligatory Cute Couple pics while we were at it. One of them might make our Christmas cards next year.

At about 6, we had to kick Darcy out because I had to get up to church to rehearse with Amy and Sharon for the service, which started at 7 pm. It as a lovely service--carols interspersed with readings, some humorous and some touching, and ending with several verses of Silent Night by candlelight. We hung around for another half hour socializing over cookies.

We had minestrone soup and a few more cookies for dinner while we watched our DVD of It's a Wonderful Life, a tradition that Dad started maybe 10-15 years ago (not from my childhood). Paul & I have watched it every Christmas Eve we've been together--this is our fourth--and I love this tradition. This time we didn't have to cram packing into our schedule because we didn't have to fly anywhere today, or leave the house at all, for that matter.

We slept in as late as Mouchie would let us (about 8:30) and then enjoyed our stockings filled with clementines, shelled mixed nuts and dark Malley's chocolate foil-wrapped bells. We had a few fun little gifts from mostly family, and laughed at Mouchie as he played with the wrapping paper.

We roasted a 10-lb ham (my first ever). Wow, was that ever good. We got it yesterday morning at the West side market. It was a bone-in, non-precooked one, and super high quality. We coated it with a sugar rub with ginger, cloves, mustard and lime zest with pecan halves all over it--delicious, and not that hard. I managed to fit in a workout and we did our Christmas cards together while listening to David Sedaris's Santaland Diaries, one of our "sentimental" holiday favorites. We got to talk to Dad, Becky & Hannah, Eric, and Mom on the phone.

The rest of the evening's plans include watching A Christmas Story and packing for our trip to Houston tomorrow. Paul's family is having a huge reunion there from the 26-29th. I checked the weather and it's supposed to be in the 70s the whole time we're there! Whoo hoo!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I Hate Being Late

2005-12-24T11:32:00.000-05:00

Being late is one of the things that stresses me out. I've noticed that peole fall into one of two types: the Time Concious and the Time Oblivious, and I am firmly in the former camp. Other people have nightmares about being chased, falling off a cliff, or being naked in public. I have those, too, but my worst ones are about missing an important flight or being hours late for work with no way of communicating to the person waiting for me.

This morning, I woke up in the dark worrying about the Christmas packages (non-calendar stuff and kids' gifts) that I sent last Monday by Priority Mail (Guaranteed 2-3 Days Delivery Most Locations!) Surely they should have made it by Friday (yesterday), and actually should have made it by Wednesday or Thursday.

Yesterday Paul brought home a box of all nine of our calendars that had been sent to our box at the UPS Store. I had asked the company, Digi-Labs, to send them individually to the intended recipients, they emailed me back saying they said they would, but it looks like they all got sent to me. Oh well, they're here, so I won't complain.

I sent an email to you all, asking if any of you had received one individually, and since everyone who replied back said no, I wrapped them and sent them off today. There was absolutely no line at the Post Office today, as people are aware that it's Just Too Late for Christmas delivery, so there was no stress at all, and I am happy that you all will get them before New Years'.

So why the early morning stress? you ask. Well, Becky said she hadn't gotten my package for Hannah Jo, either. This is upsetting to me, because late Christmas presents for adults, especially when warned about, are really no big deal. But to a kid, it can be really disappointing. Flaky as I can sometimes be, I've never let kids down with late Christmas or birthday presents, and I don't want to start now.

I can't help but wonder what other of my Monday packages still haven't made it. I know Mom & Ron's did because she emailed me Thursday. Eric & Rusty? Alec? And it's not even my fault! Stupid Post Office.