Last Saturday evening, Paul & I went to an Oberlin Alumni Potluck in Cleveland Heights. This was the second one I've been to, and I always enjoy the conversations with articulate, like-minded people. We had met a few of the people last time, including our hosts, who happened to live in the house next door to the house I had shared with 3 roommates over 20 years ago.
We met one 50-something woman in a beautiful bohemian-looking blouse who used to work at Delphic Books in Coventry. She introduced us to her companion, a man of about the same age. He was very pleasant, so when we got plates of food, we sat near him.
Well, he just started venting about illegal immigrants, lazy welfare moochers, etc. Now keep in mind that by now I had only about half my voice left, and the room was very loud. I really had to think about whatever I said, since I had to save my voice and I couldn't project. I could see his point of view, but it was really off-putting how sneering and contemptuous he was of other human beings. I made non-committal comments, but he wasn't interested in hearing my point of view.
It was weird that by his age, he hadn't yet learned that it's not the best idea to vent about politics with people you don't know--what made him think I agreed with him? Couldn't he see by my body language that I was trying to disengage from the conversation? He was absolutely clueless. Then he started dissing Ohio as a place to live. I said, "Well, I'm happy here and I chose to live here." You'd think he would get a hint.
When I mentioned an article I had read in the New York Times to support my thesis that if we got rid of illegal immigrants, Americans don't want to/don't have the physical stamina to work those migrant farm worker jobs he started dissing my NYT. That was it. I said, " I don't agree with you, and I'm ending this conversation," got up, and went to the other room.
I don't like to think of myself as someone who refuses to talk about politics with someone I don't agree with. I think it was his tone that got me. And his assumption that I would be on his side. Really, dude? At an Oberlin function in Cleveland Heights? I really wonder what Ms. Delphic Books sees in him.
I proceeded to talk for three more hours (with other people), which was a blast, but by the end of the evening, my voice was gone and I've been totally mute ever since. It gets me thinking about people who really don't have a voice. Maybe next time, I will take the risk to speak up when someone is speaking contemptuously of others. And I should be more mindful before opening my mouth, because sometimes I do the same thing.
