Night Out (the Having-A-Life Part of My Weekend)

Last night, Paul & I went to see Verb Ballets at the new Breen Center for the Performing Arts in Tremont, a whopping 12-minute drive from home. It's a beautiful facility for dance--just a few hundred seats, all with good sight-lines and an excellent sound system. Saw lots of people from the Cleveland area dance community. It was a one-night engagement, so everyone who wanted to come was there the same night. Highlights:

• The opener, "Cleveland Flats Symphony," had stunningly bright and sharp video images of architecture and scenery from the Cleveland flats projected on the backdrop. The dance seemed almost like an accompaniment to the video, the choreography echoing its images. One I liked: a dancer doing the backstroke across the stage as river paddle-boats floated by across the screen.
• "Reflections of...'" a new duet by the Greene/Medcalf Project (Terence Greene and Michael Medcalf, both of whom have taught classes I've played for over the years). Terence's choreography is to movement what melisma is to a melody. It was nice to talk to both of them after the show.
• After intermission, under the pretense that she had won a Verb t-shirt in a raffle, a young lady was called up to the stage where her sweetheart presented her with a red rose bouquet. He asked the audience to sing "Happy Birthday" to her, which we did, in the keys of D major and F# Major simultaneously ("Happy Birthday" arranged by Charles Ives). He then proposed to her on stage, much to the delight of the audience (lots of shrieking and standing ovations). Good thing she said yes!
• The final piece was "The Myth and The Madness of Edgar Allen Poe." Schubert and Bizet were mixed in with eerie, diabolical- and and dramatic-sounding music to accompany this narrative of Poe's descent into madness as all of his loved ones die before their time, one after another. Lots of black ravens carrying them off into the next world and dancing menacingly. It made me think about how nasty, brutish, and short life (and death) were back then, when most people died of acute diseases and infections around age 36.
• Afterwards, we went out for dinner at the Flying Fig (first time for us) with Brad and Elaine and Brad's mom, Grace, who we know from the CWRU Dance Department. Great food and great conversation--we talked a lot about the tension between science and religion in this country, and about the book about the changing nature of death that Paul and I read last month. Next thing we knew, it was after midnight and we were closing down the restaurant!

I've got four (count 'em) nights playing at Stages Restaurant this month, starting tonight, after a five-month hiatus. I'm a second-stringer there, and usually get called about once a month when one of the regular pianists gets another gig that pays more. One of them John Parkinson, is convalescing after having a heart attack and won't be up to it for a while. I wish him a full recovery. Meanwhile, I'll enjoy the windfall of extra paid work.

Of course, this also means my having-a-life nights will probably not take up a whole evening again for a while. After the gig tonight, we could have gone to a party, a wine tasting, or out dancing, but I'll be cracking the books for school until the wee hours instead.

Ace

What a great feeling. For my second big math test, I took two days to study. I finished it in an hour and 10 minutes and got 100%!!

We have a project for class in the form of a short play, a murder mystery. The point is to use a formula and logarithms to figure out whodunit. It's not due until the 24th, but I (fortunately) started it on Monday. After 4 hours, my brain hurt. I know I did something wrong because when I plugged in the known times and cooling dead body temperatures that were given to us, it didn't add up with the formula I came up with. So I knew it wouldn't be right to derive the unknown time. My dreams that night were about frustration and failing to get it (not fun).

I was able to get a hint from Mike (my prof) in class, not enough to give me the answer but at least enough to know where I started going wrong. Tonight, in only an hour, I solved it!! (This equation is nothing like anything in the book, so required some thinking outside the box and some trial and error.) Boy, that sure does feel good.

MAAATH!

You know how sometimes a funny comic sticks in your mind for years? This one cracked us up when we first saw it in the Funny Times:


We started saying, "Darwin!" "E=MC squared!" "Chaos Theory!" and other assorted silliness, leering at each other at the dinner table, etc. Paul's favorite reference to this comic is, "Maaaath!"

Since June 10, I have been devoting a lot of time to my college algebra homework. The summer session crams 16 weeks worth of material into an 8-week period. That means for a 4-credit-hour class, I need to devote16 or more hours a week to homework and study time, as opposed to 8.

During the 4-week break between school sessions, did I spend any time whatsoever reviewing basic algebra concepts? Had I done any reviewing besides last year's 10 days devoted to improving my score on the math assessment test? Of course not! No one else in the class has gone 27 years since Algebra 2. I was a little overwhelmed by the pace at first, and had no idea where to start when the class was given an example problem to work out. Couldn't remember how to factor a polynomial to save my life. Uh-oh, I thought. Will it even be possible for me to get an A in this class?

By the end of the first week I was hitting the books for several hours a day most days. My math mind is officially back in shape now. When I'm working out a problem, time has no meaning. I occasionally look up at the clock in the middle of my homework, surprised to see that 2 hours have passed when it feels like 15 minutes. Paul will leave to teach his class, saying, "I see you're doing MAAATH!" and I'll still be at it when he comes home.

I have to stop no later than 11:30 pm though. Otherwise my brain is still racing and I can't calm down and go to sleep until after 2 am. My dreams have been full of graphs and functions and numbers. That means it's sinking in.

I spent about 7 hours studying for the first test (last Thursday). It really took that long. There is just so much information, like a foreign language I'm not quite fluent in. We had 2 hours to take the test, and I finished in an hour and 20 minutes. I felt pretty good about it. Today we got the tests back, and I got a 96 on it!

I sure like MAAATH a lot more than English Composition.

Yess!

I did it--just found out--I got straight A's. Yippee!! And in the English course I have the full breakdown online--an average of 96%. I worked so hard for that. I swear, 16th-century counterpoint was easier for me. I'm also thrilled to get an A in accounting--it is, after all, my major. Here's my progress so far: 16 credit hours earned. 4.00 GPA. After the summer, when I'll finally take that College Algebra class in person, I will have earned 20 credit hours out of 72 needed--slightly more than 1/4 of the way through. My goal: 4.0 all the way.

Needless to say, I have been celebrating all week with a spectacular spree of non-productivity. I went to the public library to check out books to read just for fun (I've read about 500 pages since Monday) and a daytime trip to the Cedar Lee to see Note by Note, the movie about the making of one particular Steinway concert grand piano from start to finish. Making a piano is extremely intricate--it's all handmade and takes about a year. The craftspeople interviewed took great pride in their work. Interspersed were segments of pianists, from concert artists to students, speaking with passion on what they seek in a piano and on how music connects people and takes them out of themselves. I loved it. There were only about five other people in my 2:15 p.m. Monday showing. It was fun to chat afterwards. The movie only showed for a week, and I'm glad I didn't miss it.

Well, speaking of piano, it's time for me to finally get off my butt and start cleaning up my piano arrangement of Eine Kleine Nachtmusik for the Cleveland School of Dance year-end performance that is 8 days away. I don't have the excuse of homework any more.

At Semester's End

Hi, I'm back.

Wow, has this been a tough month. But school is almost over--tonight I have my accounting final and Monday my final term paper for English is due, and that's it. I feel relaxed now because I'm ahead of the game.

For accounting, I've never missed a class, never been late with a homework assignment, participated in class probably more than anyone else in the class, and spent 6 hours studying for the final yesterday so I could let the information sink in overnight and then just review today. Underemployment certainly has its upside--my job at Case is over until the end of August, which gives me my mornings and early afternoons back, so I've had luxuriously huge amounts of time to devote to schoolwork just when all the final projects come due.

Last week wasn't too fun, as I spent at least 20 hours (not that I actually counted) cranking out the "rough draft" of my English term paper, which was due Sunday. I put that in quotes because I am almost fundamentally incapable of doing anything in rough draft form, at least if anyone else is going to see it. I go straight from nothing to final polished product. In this online class, I know that not only the professor but all of my fellow students can read and comment on everything I write, so I always want it to be my best. And in making it my best, of course what happened is that I finished it. It's even over the minimum page limit already so I won't have to add material just to make it long enough. I'm sure I'll be changing something for my final version, but I bet it won't take 20 hours.

I really, really want to get straight A's. I've worked so hard.

Not a Pretty Seasonal Transition

I have to say, this is one of my least favorite times of year. The weather mostly sucks. We still have a few filthy mounds of snow from the storm I wrote about three weeks ago. Wet, mud, and/or slush seem to be the most prominent features of "spring" so far. I thought surely the crocuses must be up by now, and took a walk up Hessler Street to check them out the other day. Not a one. Not even the greens yet. Just a few hardy snowdrops. Usually the crocuses are about spent by now and the daffodils are about to explode. It looks like the snowiest March on record has slowed down our already typically late start to spring.

The semester is almost two thirds over--only 6 weeks to go. I am enjoying the Financial Accounting class, but I have to say, the next College Composition class I take will not be the honors one. I am doing extremely well--my grade is a 95.77 so far--but, boy, do I ever have to work for it. I am still a slow writer. The assignments are getting harder and harder, so I never get any faster. The last one was the worst. I had to read several esoteric literary criticisms on Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, most of which were so dense I had to read them all 5-6 times before I could even begin to understand their arguments. Then I had to pick one and write an essay on my take on their arguments, backed up with plenty of evidence from multiple sources. Ack. Easter was not fun. In fact, as Borat would say, writing it was major "pain in my assholes," as I described it to Paul. As a small comfort, my classmates also had a hard time with it and we were able to commiserate online. I actually did very well on mine, finally scoring a perfect 10 for the first time in this class. The discussion afterwards was actually exhilarating, and I made a really good comment in support of the value of literary criticism. Prof. Panza quoted my comment in one of his online announcements to the class, which made me feel pretty great.

Things are getting better. Sure signs of spring:

• I was able to ride my bike to church today, since it was above 35 and not raining!
• It's not pitch-black at 8 pm anymore.
• Spring concert rehearsal season is in full swing,

and

• Mouchie has taken to peeing on the floor in front of the front door again.

Ugh, ugh, ugh. As if "yack season*" weren't bad enough. I have no idea why he feels so compelled to do this. Every. Single. Spring. It's not marking behavior. He was neutered at 4 months, and it's only on the floor (not the wall). We actually use the front door multiple times a day, so if he thinks I'll give in and put another litterbox there, well, sorry, ain't happening. I've tried tinfoil and a carpet runner with the pointy side up. Supposedly, cats don't like walking on those surfaces, but he just brazenly pees on it. It only makes my clean-up job harder. Pet repellents and "training aids," both the clove- or citrus-scented organic and the nuclear-waste chemical varieties, have absolutely no effect on him. Even serving his food there won't stop him from peeing less than 12 inches away from the food dish.

Last year, I bought a heavy rubber front porch mat from the hardware store that had such a strong chemical smell it almost knocked us out. That really worked, and I thought I had fixed this for good. Apparently, the smell has faded to the point of losing its repellent power. There must be something about the changing light or the sound of the birds that brings out this lovely behavior. He only does it in the early morning before I get up to feed him. I wish I could booby-trap the area to dump water and/or make a nasty noise only when HE enters it, not when we do.

One thing that did work for 3 days last week: I put up a cheap wooden baby gate in front of the stairs, but that's not all. He can leap over it easily enough, so I got a large blanket out and draped it over the railing, clipping it in place to make the barrier too high and deep for him to penetrate. He foiled me yesterday morning, though. All the papers from the ledge over the stairs were scattered in the stairwell by the front door, and there was the puddle of pee. My barrier was untouched. The little stinker had used his acrobatic skills (which I had sorely underestimated) to leap down and then up several feet because he really wanted to pee there. This morning, Paul got up at 7:30 and put him out on the deck, which solved the problem for today, but only works if the weather is decent. I am running out of ideas.

Maybe I should go to the hardware store and buy a big-ass piece of thin plywood, big enough to reach from the top of the stairs to to door, and just lay it down over the entire area at night. If the entire surface is at a 45-degree angle,with no toeholds, may that will render it sufficiently unpleasant for him. I'd hate to have to shut him in the downstairs family room all night, every night, but that's the next step if this doesn't work, and if I do that, he might find some even more unpleasant way of showing us what he thinks of that idea. Any of you cat people have any advice?

*Yack season: that lovely time of year when we shed our winter coats and leave a lovely upchucked surprise on the floor (carpet only) several times a week.

Too Much of a Perfectionist?

I've just had a hellishly busy week. Since last Monday morning, I have put in the following homework and study time:

• 4 hours studying for accounting exam
• 8 hours over 3 days on accounting homework (having to do it in Excel, as opposed to pencil and paper, takes considerably longer)
  
• 3.5 hours watching 2 out of the 3 movies I need to use as sources for this week's English essay
• 2 hours reading and studying the reference essays for last week's essay
• 2 hours mulling over last week's essay assignment, figuring out what to say, and looking up more citation sources online
• 5 hours writing last week's essay
• 1.5 hours reading everyone else's essays and essay responses on the online message board
• 2.5 hours composing my own (required) essay responses

Let's see, that adds up to...
28.5 hours spent on schoolwork alone, not counting 3 hours commuting time and 4 hours class time for attending my accounting class. Holy crap. Put it all together, and that's more time than I spent on my paid work.

I like getting A's. (Not surprisingly, I'm getting A's so far in both classes.) I did have time to have somewhat of a life for 3 of the last 7 nights, although it was a challenge which involved staying up until at least 1 :30 am much of the time. At the rate I'm going, it will probably take me at least 3 1/2 more years, including summers, to finish the degree. Is this kind of a life worth it for such a long time?

Yesterday at church, my friend Joy said I was too much of a perfectionist. She had learned for herself, after hard experience, that it was better to just pass the classes so you could have a life. No prospective employer, she says, will care what your grades were. B's are good enough. But I haven't reached the point of being willing to settle just yet. I'm not trying to juggle this with motherhood, as she did. (I can't imagine motherhood being any easier than my life right now.) This is hard but not impossible. Paul is really supportive, even though it means we have less time together in the short term.

Prune Juice for my Writer's Block

It's only the third week of school, and it's already hard. I'm taking Honors English Composition and having to write an essay every week, each one longer and better than the last. Do you know how long it's been since the last time I wrote an essay? About 25 years. 22 years since I've written any sort of term paper whatsoever. For over half my life, my skills, though still decent, have atrophied and slowed down like the heart muscle of a couch potato. Right now, it feels like I'm trying to run a mile when I should be starting with a walk around the block.

I'm just whining, really. I'm doing just fine, getting an A so far. It's just taking me forever to do the writing. A three credit-hour class is supposed to take about six hours of study and homework time per week, and this one is taking me at least twelve. We're writing on the semiotics of popular culture, which I really enjoy. I do have something to say--it just takes me a while to figure out what it is. Then I have to make it articulate, find and correctly cite references to back up my views, and tie the whole thing together coherently.

Three weeks (and three essays) in, I have increased my speed to about 100 words per hour. It's still a mighty effort, and I still feel mentally constipated, but even in casual conversation, my vocabulary seems sharper and I feel a little bit more articulate. Things are starting to "move along." :-)

Back From Under a Rock

I have fallen off the face of the earth for the past 4 months--sorry about that! I just got out of the habit of blogging. I kept a (pen and paper) travel journal during the entire Europe trip. (And took a lot of pictures. )I know how quickly memories fade and change and wanted to capture everything as it happened. I am a slow writer, and it sometimes took me 2 hours a day just to keep up. The thought of migrating even part of it over here just seemed overwhelming with school starting 2 days after we got back.

Oh yeah, school. At first a bit of a shock after a 20-year break from studying anything, I soon got in the groove as my semi-dormant nerd tendencies took over and I became the class smartypants in all 3 of my classes. Most of you with whom I've kept in touch know that I decided to postpone College Algebra until the summer, when I have time to take it with a live human being instead of online. I got hopelessly behind the first week (due to computer technical difficulties) and dropped it.

Everything else, though, I found very engaging, even the potentially boring Introduction to Business. I took my books with me to my job at Case so I could do homework during my 2-hour break there. Don't believe anybody who tells you community colleges give easy A's. I actually worked my butt off, sometimes working on the computer until 1 am (though I have to say less than perfect time management skills have something to do with that).

All of my classes were in subjects I knew next to nothing about, so I couldn't coast much on previous knowledge. I now know all the material in two 500-page textbooks and I've learned how to use Word, Excel, Access and PowerPoint. I set a high goal for myself, to ace everything, and got mid- to high-nineties on most of my exams. My last final was Dec. 19th. Tonight, via the MyTri-CSpace site, I learned officially that I got straight A's in everything. It's all the sweeter because I had to work hard for it.

Yesss!

I went in to take the mathematics assessment test today after a total of 10 days of study/review. It had everything on it from pre-algebra word problems (which I almost aced) through Trigonometry, which left me feeling quite humbled by my absolute cluelessness. But guess what? I placed at the college algebra level (a level above the minimal requirement for my accounting degree), so now I don't have to spend a semester and several hundred dollars of tuition just to catch up to where I should have been. Yay me!

I picked 3 classes from the first semester sequence* and registered and paid online. (Just in time, too--2 of them were already almost filled.) I'll be taking 10 credit hours starting August 27.


*College Algebra (I'll be taking the web-based course), Intro to Business, Business Math Applications

Meltdown

Last Wednesday evening, while Paul was teaching his Aikido class, I opened the algebra book and began reading the definition of a function. It was hot in the room (82 degrees) and a little humid, but I hadn't minded it all day and was enjoying being cheap and saving on air conditioning costs. Now this was pretty abstract stuff and I had to read the paragraph over again. It made even less sense the second time. Oh no, I thought; it seemed I had slammed my intellect against the brick wall of its limitations. (And I had been doing so well until now, too!)

I started breaking a sweat as the words ran together on the page. It was suddenly unbearably hot in there. Then and there I gave up on economizing, slamming the windows shut and moving the AC from "off" to "cool." I couldn't believe how hot I was; I felt a little dizzy, almost feverish, and totally unable to string together a coherent thought. I was actually mopping my face with a hand towel. My entire body was soon soaked, as if I had just finished an intense workout. It lasted about 30 minutes.

I think I had just experienced my first hot flash! I guess no matter what your age, the study of mathematics and hormonal insanity are inextricably linked.

You Forget a Lot of Math in 26 Years

I've spent the last week

• futzing around the Tri-C website gathering information--how to apply, assessment test information, class schedules, etc
• sleeping on this some more and finally deciding that, yes, I really do want to do this, not just think about doing it
• realizing that, though I was pretty good at math at age 16, I haven't taken a math class since, and, boy, have I forgotten everything I don't use in my everyday life.
• buying The Complete Idiot's Guide to Algebra and reviewing the first 14 chapters, filling up pages of legal-size paper working out problems and mostly understanding it at least as well as I did before.
  

I need to take the math assessment test for placement since I never took math in college and I will be totally lost in my accounting classes if I don't know this stuff. I'm supposed to take a math class at the Intermediate Algebra level or above during my first semester. Last week I looked at the sample assessment test questions online. I aced the basic calculation section (basics, fractions, decimals, easy geometry, etc.) but even the "beginning" algebra questions stumped me.

What a difference a few hours of concentrated attention make, especially with a good guidebook that explains it in everyday English with a bit of humor thrown in. I now remember how to do things like graph a linear equation, factor a polynomial, and solve a quadratic inequality. When I have the explanation in front of me, I tend to do very well on the practice problems. My mistakes tend to be arithmetic oversights, like forgetting that one of the numbers was negative, and I am understanding it well enough to realize where I made the mistake.

I think I am well into the Algebra 2 part of the book (only 5 chapters to go) and after I finish the book, I just need to practice. I need to take the test soon (like next week) so I can register for my classes and get all of the pre-enrollment tasks done before we leave for Europe. Classes start the week of August 27 so I'll be hitting the ground running.

Today I went down to the Admissions Office and officially applied. Also, I sent a transcript request form to CIM so they can send Tri-C my transcript from my Bachelor of Music degree. At least the credit from my English class should transfer, although I don't think anything else will.

Doors Closing and Windows Opening

Last week I got my contract paperwork for one of my regular jobs. My stomach flipped unpleasantly when I saw that I was only offered classes 3 days a week instead of 6. I can't say it was a total surprise, since I know there have been financial issues.

This isn't the first time this has happened. In 2000, the Cleveland Ballet folded, everyone lost their jobs, and we found out about it by coming to work one day only to find the doors padlocked and the electricity cut off. That was definitely the worst.

Then in the fall of 2003, I lost a third of my hours at one of my jobs because classes were condensed due to low enrollment (bad economy, fallout from No Child Left Behind, etc.). Now I'm down another 8 hours. At this rate, the next time this happens, there will be no more hours left to cut.

I lost some sleep the first couple of nights, thinking first of all, how am I going to make up that lost income? All of the surviving dance companies in town are so financially lean they can't afford an accompanist. Freelancing (shows, weddings, parties, etc) are a nice supplement but aren't a steady source of income. Yes, I know, I have Paul, but I really need to be doing something more than 22 hours a week. I'm not old enough for this Lady of Leisure lifestyle and won't be for at least another 25+ years. Besides, his job won't be there forever either--once his boss retires, he'll need to find something else, which will probably involve a substantial pay cut. It would be pretty ugly if I have a long-term pay cut at the same time.

I'm starting to think that the career of dance accompanist will become obsolete pretty soon as budget cuts force schools and companies to save money by using CDs for music. And pretty much what's out there as steady jobs for musicians involves teaching. "Why not do that?" I'm sure you're asking. Well, because I hate it. I mean, really hate it. I'd rather go back to school and train to learn how to do something else, that's how much I hate it.

I started thinking about this on Thursday when I was browsing the want ads on cleveland.com. All of the available music-related jobs involved teaching in the schools. I also checked out entry-level general office jobs which could be part-time and make a dent in the lost income, but they really don't have a future. I really don't want to get stuck in that path--I know I could do better than that if I'm willing to take a little risk.

So I thought about other things I like to do that, with some education or training, could become a marketable skill, preferably one that would never become obsolete. I do enjoy anal-retentive detail work, computers, numbers and money, and have an aptitude for all of those things. Just for fun, I went to the Tri-C (our community college) website to see what programs they offer. I looked at the accounting program and actually started getting inspired.

You're probably thinking, that sounds so boring. Some parts probably are. But I'm good with numbers. I've been keeping track of every cent of my own money, income and spending, for almost 14 years straight, because I like to. I like all those graphs and reports in the Money software. If I get an Associates degree in accounting, I could get a job as a bookkeeper while keeping my other music jobs. If I decide I want to later, I could transfer those credits to Cleveland State, get a Bachelors and become a CPA.

I could totally do this. We have savings left even after the Europe trip, including most of my inheritance from Grandma. What better use of it than investing in my future? The whole 2-year program adds up to about $5000 in tuition, so I wouldn't even need loans. And heck, it would be easier to do this now than it would if I were, say 57 years old.

I feel smiled upon by fortune that I've managed to have a 20-year career in my dream job. Most people in the arts never got the lucky breaks I've had, and have had to have "day jobs" to pay the bills. I'm not giving up or anything--my other music jobs are still there. For now. But I'm ready to diversify my marketable skills for the first time in my life, and I find this incredibly energizing.