So here it is the middle of May. My job at Case is over for the summer, so I now have all this extra time in the mornings. Most days I don't have anything scheduled until 4 pm. What a perfect opportunity to clean up my Windsong repertoire for this Saturday's performance and compose something decent for the modern piece for the Cleve. School of Dance performance the following Saturday.
Only I haven't been doing any of it. My horrible procrastination tendency has been rearing its ugly head. Until today, the weather has been crappy for a week (48 degrees and pouring all day). I'm not usually such a baby about weather, but man, this depressed my mood. I've been sleeping too much, spending way too much time on the internets, and had two very bad days foodwise (Monday and yesterday).
I know I'm not "cured" as far as the sweets go, and I don't think I ever totally will be. I have been keeping some around the house and mostly have been able to eat them in moderation. Well, moderation for me--that would be a few small pieces of hard candy+ 1 serving of Good Stuff (premium ice cream, dark chocolate, etc.) per day. It works for me--I enjoy it, I don't overdo it, and I can maintain my weight. But, oh lately, I have been reading and just snarfing the stuff down like I used to, only my gut got disturbed (to put it delicately) before I ever got near the quantities I used to eat. Bleah, that felt nasty!
At least now my body won't let me do what I used to do without penalty. At least I have still been keeping up my workouts and not letting that slide, too. At least today I gave myself a new start, and am having no problem whatsoever steering clear of self-sabotaging behavior. Two bad days isn't really much in the big picture, so I'm not going to beat myself up over it.
I'ts interesting to pay attention to my food triggers. The procrastination mindset is the worst, followed by boredom/insufficient stimulation. Periods of underemployment, which unfortunately are part of this career, are times I need to be especially vigilant. I really can't afford to feel that crappy. Next step: start on my practicing and composing. I feel my usual good self now, and the weather has cleared up. No more excuses!
About Me
- Karinderella
- I'm a pianist, happily married. Socially progressive, chocolate lover, interested in the nature of reality, alternates between being a slacker and being a grind.
1 comment:
Oh honey, I feel you! I know what unstructured time can do to those of us who are bored easily. I'm getting to the point now where I tape ALL of my shows on TV because I can't stand waiting through the ads. The only live-time TV I watch is when I'm practicing, and then I'm not bored because I can concentrate on the horn on the ads!
Maybe it would help to make a list of things to do when the weather is crappy? Go somewhere and get out of the house. Even just going to the library to read can be a good way to escape and get away from the fridge. Or go treat yourself to a movie. Or rent some movies. I am going to investigate netflix.com for the summer; I hear it's great!
I'm definitely rooting for you and hope that you can find enough to occupy your time. Fortunately for those of us who are creative intellectuals, we are good with coming up with solutions! ;)
XO Love,
Darcy
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