Duelling Pianos

I have had a very busy week. Last Thursday, I embarked on an adventure at 6:30 am, driving halfway to Columbus to a regional dance festival. I would be accompanying classes for members of various youth ballet companies from all over Ohio, Pennsylvania, New Jersey and New Hampshire, led by the cream of the crop of instructors and paying 75 bucks a class, plus mileage and free food. My first class was scheduled for 8:30 am (ugh) but I was wide-awake and excited.

I arrived at 8:05, where a staff person gave me a tote bag full of goodies (cookies, water bottle, pens, tourist info on Ashland county, etc.) and led me to my first class location. "Some of the locations had pianos but some only had keyboards," he said, adding that some of the other pianists had, shall we say, expressed dissatisfaction with the keyboards the night before.

"Oh, Diva Syndrome!" I said with amusement, adding that I am used to playing a keyboard for class (I play mine for Troy's class twice a week). I was sure I could deal with whatever was there, and I had long ago learned that crappy pianos in the dance studio are simply a fact of life.

So we get to an enormous gymnasium. On one side was a taped-down marley floor with a Yamaha Clavinova (circa 1988) in the corner. I saw Troy and waved, thinking we were going to work together. "No, your space is over there," said my guide, pointing to an identical setup on the other side of the gym.

"Two pianos in one room?! How is that going to work?" I wanted to know. He assured me that they would roll a divider down the middle of the room and that should help some. I wasn't so sure about this but figured they must have thought this through so it must be okay. I checked out my keyboard, noting the volume was set only halfway to the max. Well, I guess it won't be that loud, I thought.

The divider, a thin vinyl sheet with nothing but mesh on the top third, was rolled down. Of course, it did absolutely nothing to mute the sound from the other side of the room. I heard Troy's voice giving the first exercise to his class, and then the music from the other guy's keyboard filled the room as if its speakers were directly in front of us. Uh-oh.

My instructor, Nina Danilova, started showing her combination. I couldn't hear her at all and when I started playing, could hardly hear myself. I turned up the volume to three quarters max. I could now hear myself, but the other guy still sounded louder. Plus, the instrument, although cutting edge technology in 1988, only has 16-note polyphony. This means that with the pedal down, once you play 16 notes either as chords or as a series, the first ones you played start cutting out. It sounded disjointed and all cut up, which certainly didn't help the 50 or so students in my side of the room hear any better. They couldn't even hear me well enough to tell whether they were on the music, so they were always ahead or behind me.

Eventually a staff person came in with an extension cord and I moved away from the wall and toward the middle of the space where we could hear each other a little better. Nina and I developed a system where, when I saw that they were off, I would yell out the counts. Oh, I forgot to mention that I was going on only about 4-5 hours of sleep so my focus wasn't the greatest. But I was eventually able to focus enough to shut out the other pianist so at least it wouldn't throw me off.

It was kind of cold in there but I had the foresight to bring a long-sleeved shirt. At precisely 11:00 am, halfway through my second class, a huge, earthquake-like rumbling sound engulfed the room. Big thunderstorm outside, I thought. But no. It was followed by grinding and whooshing of gigantic industrial-strength fans directly overhead. Blowing cold air, I might add. Just what we needed, a white noise machine! Now it was even harder to hear, and also freezing. The staff person came back saying they were working on getting it turned off, which never did happen.

At lunch in the Ashland University cafeteria (which had very good food, I might add), I sat with some of the other pianists, including the one I had "duelled" with, and laughingly shared our horror story with the others. It turned out that on his side of the room, all they could hear was me! We all agreed that whoever thought this setup was a good idea was seriously lacking something upstairs.

New Arrival: Galion

Proud mama Karin Tooley is pleased to announce

the birth of her newest composition

Galion*

started onThursday, May 18, 2005

finished on Wednesday, May 24, 2005

8.5 minutes long

This is the longest piece I've ever composed. Michael didn't finish setting the choreography until last Friday. We thought it was going to be 4 minutes, maybe 5, but turned out to be twice as long! Not wanting to have a symphony's worth of material, I managed to develop just one main motif throughout the piece. At first it seemed lame and overly repetitive, but I'm very pleased at how it came out. I hardly wrote anything down--who has time?!--and have already memorized it.

It is now on endless loop in the soundtrack of my mind. Every time I hear or play it for the rest of my life, it will remind me of this week. It's nice to know I've still got it. I can compose, even though I never do it unless for a performance and a deadline.

*This is Michael's title for the choreography. Curious, I googled it and came up with nothing except a small town in Ohio. I asked him how he came up with the title, and he said he saw the signs for the town when driving recently. The piece is a sort of fairy tale and the title sounds a little otherworldly.

Idle Hands and All That...

So here it is the middle of May. My job at Case is over for the summer, so I now have all this extra time in the mornings. Most days I don't have anything scheduled until 4 pm. What a perfect opportunity to clean up my Windsong repertoire for this Saturday's performance and compose something decent for the modern piece for the Cleve. School of Dance performance the following Saturday.

Only I haven't been doing any of it. My horrible procrastination tendency has been rearing its ugly head. Until today, the weather has been crappy for a week (48 degrees and pouring all day). I'm not usually such a baby about weather, but man, this depressed my mood. I've been sleeping too much, spending way too much time on the internets, and had two very bad days foodwise (Monday and yesterday).

I know I'm not "cured" as far as the sweets go, and I don't think I ever totally will be. I have been keeping some around the house and mostly have been able to eat them in moderation. Well, moderation for me--that would be a few small pieces of hard candy+ 1 serving of Good Stuff (premium ice cream, dark chocolate, etc.) per day. It works for me--I enjoy it, I don't overdo it, and I can maintain my weight. But, oh lately, I have been reading and just snarfing the stuff down like I used to, only my gut got disturbed (to put it delicately) before I ever got near the quantities I used to eat. Bleah, that felt nasty!

At least now my body won't let me do what I used to do without penalty. At least I have still been keeping up my workouts and not letting that slide, too. At least today I gave myself a new start, and am having no problem whatsoever steering clear of self-sabotaging behavior. Two bad days isn't really much in the big picture, so I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

I'ts interesting to pay attention to my food triggers. The procrastination mindset is the worst, followed by boredom/insufficient stimulation. Periods of underemployment, which unfortunately are part of this career, are times I need to be especially vigilant. I really can't afford to feel that crappy. Next step: start on my practicing and composing. I feel my usual good self now, and the weather has cleared up. No more excuses!

Music: Connecting With the Spirit

Tomorrow's church service is about connecting to the spirit through music and art. I've volunteered to speak for a few minutes about my experience. Of course, I've spent the whole week procrastinating writing out my thoughts. So here it is, almost 1:30 in the morning the night before, but I finally finished. Here it is.

Music: Connecting With the Spirit

My earliest experiences in life, before I can even remember, had music. My parents had a very small record collection, maybe half a dozen, and played them over and over while I was in utero. My mother sang and played the autoharp and a little piano. One of my earliest memories was wildly dancing around the living room to whatever was playing on the stereo. I was maybe 3 or 4 years old, still at that pre-self-concious age when it is effortless to live fully in the moment, totally connected to the spirit. When I was upset and nothing else would calm me down, my mom would play one of our records and it always worked. There is something about rhythm (like a heartbeat) and melody (like a breath) that can take us back to the time in the womb. It is profoundly comforting and centering, and surprisingly powerful and universal.

Starting in my childhood, and to this day, if I listen to the noisiness of my brain, there is always a constant musical soundtrack. It can be anything from a simple rhythm to a song from my childhood, to a symphony I heard on the radio yesterday, to a repeating phrase caught in an endless loop. Sometimes, when I'm really paying attention, I notice what thought in my mind triggered that particular music. When the song "Somebody Done Sombody Wrong" enters the playlist, for instance, maybe I've unintentionally upset someone by something I've said or done and this is the spirit's way of calling it to my attention.

Certain pieces of music get tied to certain memories or experiences for me. Hearing a top-40 song from junior high will take me right back to 7th grade. I can practically smell the raspberry lip gloss and feel the heart palpitations as I pass by my first crush opening his locker, both hoping and fearing he'll look up and notice I'm alive. 1812 Overture? A muggy July night, fireflies twinkling, the smell of suphur as the fireworks boom. Silent Night? Echoes of every Christmas in my memory, especially singing by candlelight with my church community on Christmas Eve. These musical memories I have in common with others in my age group, culture, or religious community help me feel easily connected with them.

I've used music to get me through a hard time. Sometimes when I'm too upset to cry, a song or a sonata will open the floodgates. If I need to wallow in misery for a while, the perfect piece of music is just what I need. If I don't have the luxury of falling apart, or I need a break from the misery, another piece of music will provide me a lifeline, a much needed distraction, or a beacon of hope that things will get better. When I'm feeling apathetic or unmotivated, listening or playing some music usually helps me feel engaged and interested again.

Besides all of these things, I also use music as my main spiritual practice, much as someone else would use yoga, prayer or meditiation. When I hear certain pitches, I see certain colors associated with those pitches. I've had this my whole life, since before I knew notes had names. So when I hear music, it's like an impressionistic kaleidescope. If I'm listening or learning with the analytical part of my brain, splashes of color might be superimposed over images of notes on the page. Or my brain will come up with an architectural pattern or shape of the structure of the whole piece, with big sections, subsections, phrases, and individual notes all color-coded. This makes it really easy to memorize things--it's like having the answer book in front of you! I've had a third of a century of experience since I started learning to play the piano, so a lot of things that used to be awkward and labored are now effortless and second nature.

When you're just starting out, you're just worried about getting through what comes next without making a mistake. When you have to conciously think about every little thing, you're so preoccupied with that that there is no room for the big picture. Once you get the notes, then you can think about expression. I have been through this cycle countless times. In fact, I go through a miniature version of it to this day every time I learn a new piece. It's like a spiral of details-expression-communication, getting to an ever higher level every time I go around the circle. Technical refinement and perspective from life experience over the years has gotten me away from getting stuck in the details and closer to focusing on the pure expression and the big picture.

Sometimes I even have moments of transcendence, where nothing exists but the music and I am engrossed by all the pretty colors resolving themselves. Most days I have at least a few seconds of this. This is as close as I can get to feeling oneness with everything. For me, music is a metaphor for my life. It's full of little details. It's so easy to get bogged down in the minutae, constantly trying not to mess up. But this life has something larger. Maybe my music practice can help me see it.

Same Hobby, Different Focus

Remember how I said I need a new hobby now, now that I'm done with the weight loss project?* Well, I've really come to enjoy exercise, how it makes me feel, and how much more it enables my body to do, so I've been taking my fitness to the next level since reaching my weight loss goal on March 20.

That week I upped my heaviest dumbells to 15 lbs (up from 12 lbs) for my 12 WHFN workout DVDs, making me pretty sore all over again for the first 2 weeks. I also started to challenge my stability and balance by doing all the stick-assisted segments without the stick and standing on one leg for upper-body dumbell work. These workouts are still great after 6 months and are still moderately challenging, but I figured it was time to mix in some new, harder ones to shake things up a bit.

After much research, I ordered four new DVDs from Tracie Long Training that have an emphasis on functional fitness and core strength. They just came this week. I've done two so far, and they are butt-kickers! Quite a bit more challenging and I'm sore in all kinds of weird places. (Only medium-sore, not run-over-by-a-truck sore, but then I'm working light because I don't know the choreography yet.)

Paul pulled out his library of yoga tapes for me to try on off days, as there isn't as much stretching (which I desperately need) on these new workouts. My flexibility is approaching average, but everything on the back of my body is still super tight so there's lots of room for improvement.

I still walk to work at Case every day, but Case will be over on May 1. I know I won't be so likely to do it without the motivation of saving gas, getting from Point A to Point B, etc. so my plan is to walk to my job at the Cleveland School of Dance (7.6 mile round trip) twice a week. I walked 7.5 miles one day last week when I was getting maintenance done on my car--it was energizing and didn't make me sore or tired at all.

So here's my plan:

Monday: 7.6 mile walk
Tuesday: DVD workout
Wednesday: 7.6 mile walk
Thursday: Yoga or Pilates DVD workout
Friday: DVD workout ( hard one)
Saturday: rest
Sunday: DVD workout+ short yoga tape


*By the way, maintenance rocks! While still watching my portions most of the time, I am enjoying eating more, including candy, and not having to be so anal. I take my measurements once a week and am happy to report that all have either stayed the same or gone down slightly.

Spring Has Sprung

Our "spring foliage" season, like the fall foliage season, is really short--about 6 weeks. Well, maybe eight. Last year, I did a spring photo project to capture the beauty of the flowers that grow along my walk to work and in our neighborhood. It helped me feel like I didn't blink and miss it, like I usually did in the past. I haven't taken a lot of pictures lately, but on Friday I took a few of flowers that I missed last time.

Today, Easter, was one of those rare occasions when Paul & I both are off work during the daytime. This won't happen again until Memorial Day (not the weekend, the actual day). It's like a harmonic convergence. We always savor this kind of time because it's so rare.

I played for church this morning. Even though Easter at the Unitarian Universalist Society is just another Sunday, I still felt the urge to wear something springy and dressy with no black in it, so we were a little extra dressed up. I'm glad I kept one of my old skirts that I love and couldn't bear to give away even though now it's 3 sizes too big for me. I have a new coral pink shell (that fits) that I wore over it, not tucked in of course, and just gathered the skirt's waistline together with a paperclip because I couldn't find a safety pin. I like how I feel in this pretty outfit and it helped make the day feel special.

After church, a group of us decided to go out for lunch on Coventry. All the restaurants were closed for Easter, so we ended up carpooling for a short drive to the diner on Lee Road. I'd never been before, and it was great! We had turkey burgers and sweet potato fries (delicious!) and, as always with this group, thoughtful and fun conversation.

Then Paul and I stopped at the Lakeview Cemetery on our way home to take the Flower Tour. It's daffodil season here and the flowers are in their prime. There's one hill there that reputedly has 10,000 daffodils growing on it:

Here's one of both of us in our Easter finery:

We went to the Garfield Memorial and took in the view from the observation balcony. You can see Case Western Reserve University with downtown and the lake in the background.

When we got home, we enjoyed a nap, followed by a little egg decorating and enjoyment of Dove dark chocolate foil-wrapped Easter eggs (highly recommended) and listening to some chamber music we'd like to learn this summer. All in all, a very enjoyable day!

ABT Weekend

Over the weekend I got to play for 4 warm-up classes for the American Ballet Theatre when they were in town. Conveniently, Case was on spring break so I was free in the mornings. I decided to walk to Playhouse Square on Thursday and Friday since it's not that far away (5.2-mile round trip). This gave me a nice light workout and saved me the hassle of finding parking.

This company is one of the premier ballet companies in the world. The dancers are extremely musical as well as technically breathtaking. It is an honor and pleasure to play for them. The ballet master was very easy to follow, clear and musical, and moved at a super-fast pace. I abstained from caffeine all weekend, knowing the slight adrenaline buzz would be plenty to keep me awake and alert. I played my best stuff, including original compositions, symphony excerpts, show tunes, etc.

Saturday was a master class for advanced-level area students (62 of them, it turned out!) taught by 22-year-old company member Craig Salstein. He was adorable--he looks a little like a young Matthew Broderick. He got very intense and passionate while teaching, never losing his charm. He would signal me to start with varying theatrical gestures that cracked me up.

On St. Patrick's Day, I started the class with "Danny Boy" (which I only play once a year). This turned out to be a big hit with some of the ABT dancers from South America. Turns out they know a pop song that uses the same melody, so on Sunday I got a request to play it again. When I did, a few of them burst into spontaneous applause. That made me feel great. I mean, these dancers have heard it all when it comes to accompanists.

On Saturday night, Paul & I went to see them perform Le Corsaire, a nineteenth-century story ballet about a pirate and his love for a harem girl. Paul and I giggled at the cheesy bodice-ripper plot idea. It sounds like fodder for a role-playing fantasy. ("You be the studly, well-endowed stable boy and I'll be the innocent, busty milkmaid.") In spite of that, the ballet really was gorgeous. Unlike, say, Swan Lake, there was a lot of action for the men in this one. Seeing the men jump and levitate in the air so effortlessly was really something to see.

I've Made Goal!!

Well, technically I am jumping the gun a tiny bit posting this, since I still have 1/4" left to lose on my waist, but I consider that a rounding error. If I were the type to go through life sucking my stomach in (I'm not), I would already be there and then some. At the rate I'm going, I will have lost it by this coming Monday---and then I will be done with this weight loss project!!

I have lost 40 pounds in 6 months! Here are some stats:

Bust: -7.0 inches
Waist: -7.5 inches
Hips: -6.75 inches
Thighs: -4.25 inches each
Total Body Volume: -5.26 gallons*
Percentage of original body weight lost: 21.74. (I'm only 78.26% of the woman I used to be!)

*I read somewhere that 7.6 pounds of fat=1 gallon. Weird thought.

________________________________________________________________
I have been looking forward to posting my Before and After pictures for months. Here I am Before:

August, 2005. Here's another from the same trip, and you can see better what I looked like without the big shirt. I was probably above what I think of as my starting weight of 184.

Mostly I felt I looked at least okay, although I tired easily and my feet often hurt. However, there were some views I almost never got to see that were a bit eye-opening. This pic of the back rolls was one of the catalysts that helped me decide I wanted to do something about it.

___________________________________________

And now (my favorite part!) the After photos, taken this afternoon. Here I am in new clothes I bought last week, still glowing from my workout:

I saved my biggest pair of jeans just for these next two pics--they are the same ones I was wearing in the Before pic above. (I always wanted to do the Cheesy Weight-Loss Product Ad pose.) They look a little different on me now:




I promise this is the last weight-loss post I'll make. Maintenance is just too uneventful to blog about. I'll still do the same amount of exercise, and I'll eat the same way, just a little more food, like having my sandwiches with 2 pieces of bread instead of one. I know, having learned the hard way, that if I want to keep this up, I'll have to stay mindful of what I eat (at least most of the time) for the rest of my life. But now that I've made the commitment for a lifestyle change, I plan to be successful at it. I'm even giving away all of my old clothes tomorrow, not keeping them "in case I gain." You read it here first.

I'm gonna need a new hobby now.

March is Jam-Packed With Activities

So many things are going on this month. First of all, the Cleveland International Film Festival March 16-26. I love this event--people talk about film while waiting in line, you get to vote on the films, and you can see things you just don't see anywhere else, like shorts, foreign films, and documentaries, not to mention foreign documentaries. (You may think I'm kidding, but I have one in my lineup of films to see!) I received my 12 CIFF vouchers that I won at the church auction last fall, and spent much of today eagerly poring over the festival guide to make my picks. I've learned over the years that, at least for me, seeing more than 6 films in the 10-day period triggers the law of diminishing returns, and it just gets to be too much to digest, so I'll have a few vouchers left to give away.

In the midst of this, American Ballet Theatre will be performing (and I'll be playing for their warm-up classes). I'm not so sure we'll be going, because there is only so much culture one can digest in a week.

Tomorrow, Paul, Sharon and I will be playing some chamber music for the church service. It's a really great piece and we sound good together. Last night we had a rehearsal at our house, with the piano newly tuned, and we were really enjoying ourselves. It's kind of a loud piece and I didn't realize how late it was getting (10 pm) until our next door neighbor rang our doorbell and told us, "Please, please stop!" (This only happened once before and that was 6 months ago.)

Fortunately we were just about done anyway, but my mood deflated like a balloon. Most of the time they're not even in town (and therefore not around to complain) so it's easy to forget that it might bother them. I know it was a reasonable request, but still. When other people are loud, it just doesn't bother me, after spending 20 or so years in apartments next to fraternities and practicing conservatory students. Paul says it's moments like these that are the only thing that makes him consider moving some day. But I think, no matter where you live, there's always going to be something. If we lived in a traditional single-family home, we would have to do yardwork, which neither of us is into at all. I think we've got it pretty good.

"Rate My Life" Quiz

Just for fun, I took this online quiz. Some of these quizzes are off-the-wall ("What Kind of Fruit Are You?") but this one asks questions that actually make sense. My results were pretty much what I expected, except "Friends & Family" was lower than I would have thought:

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	8.3
Mind:	7.9
Body:	8.2
Spirit:	7
Friends/Family:	5.6
Love:	9.1
Finance:	8.5
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

I guess that's because I answered "1 or 2" when it asked how many good friends I have. (Hi, Darce!) I guess it depends on your definition of "good." I have a lot of church friends who I really connect with, but we don't invest a ton of energy in getting closer. Some energy, yes--we go out to lunch, invite each other to our parties, are involved in covenant groups and church activities together, and have occasionally provided support for each other during hard times. But it's not like we call each other or hang out on a regular basis.

I've always been one to invest most of my relationship energy into my significant other. I think I've gotten better but that's still my default setting. Is that so terrible?

"I Thought He Brought Somebody Else!"

Paul and I have been able to consistently take our ballroom dance lessons every two weeks since New Years, and we're really making excellent progress. We always make an effort to go to the Saturday night dance party at the Cavana Ballroom the same day as our lesson so we can solidify and practice what we've just learned. Well, besides, it's really fun!

Tonight I wore my black stretch pants and one of my new tops that fits close to the body (it has some spandex). I must say, it sure is fun to dress like this--I feel like a different person. Since we're only there at most twice a month, we are always greeting people we haven't seen in a while. Four or five different people complemented me on my weight loss and said I look great!

I have to share the comments from one older couple that cracked us up.

She: You look like you've lost a lot of weight.
Me: I have.
She: You look great!
Me (beaming): Thank you!
He (to Paul): You know, I saw you here a couple of weeks ago, and (to his wife) I thought he brought somebody else!
She: We didn't recognize you.
He: But then I realized, That's his wife!
She (to Paul): And we knew you weren't that type.

A Rosy Day

I admit it--I love Valentine's Day. I enjoy holidays, including birthdays, as a chance to make a day special and different from all the rest. Paul and I are freakishly well-adjusted and take the time and energy make each other feel appreciated every day, so I don't need to read meanings into what he decides to give me, or even whether he gives me anything. I know that sounds smug, but it's really true. I think he's been traumatized in the past, having been "tested" and found wanting when it comes to symbolic gestures. And Lord knows I've been guilty in the past of investing all sorts of meaning, intentional or not, into what kind of thought went into a romantic gift.

For holidays, we "pre-decide" and discuss what we are going to do for gifts. Yes, it removes the elements of surprise and spontaneity, but it also removes the fallout that comes with poor communication. For Valentine's Day, he got chocolates and I made heart-shaped cookies. We both brought flowers (unexpected and sweet, and now we have two bouquets!). I had to work until 8:00, so Paul made dinner, easy poached salmon from Andrew Weil's book that was also the first meal he ever cooked for me. We ate at home by candlelight, had good wine, listened to Sinatra, and went to bed early. ;-)

Lift & Separate...Well, Certainly Lift!

I just couldn't put it off any longer. I've been wearing my old bras for over a year, and they would have been stretched out and useless even if I hadn't lost weight, but now they are truly sad, even a little deflated looking. So Monday night I hit the lingerie department at Dillard's (I'm too small for Lane Bryant anything now!) to buy 3 new bras and 10 pairs of new underwear. I've gone down two band sizes (to a 34) and back down to a regular large (size 7) underwear, and boy, does it feel great! (Yesterday I couldn't wait to get out of bed so I could wear my new bra--what a difference. I felt extra energized all day.)

While I was there, I checked out pants to replace my beige chinos that now gape horribly at the waist, and bought a pair of stone-colored linen pants by Calvin Klein at 75% off that fit me perfectly right now....and they're size 12! Yes, I know, insert vanity sizing/non-standardized women's clothing sizing disclaimer here, but still, that felt energizing. For good measure, I also got a pair of black slacks with purple pinstripes, different brand, also a size 12.

Monday and yesterday, I spent a lot of time sewing to alter my clothes, hemming both of my new pairs of pants and taking in 5 of my favorite Lane Bryant blouses that I love and don't want to have to get rid of. (God, I'm becoming such a girly-girl! But the health makeover has become my main hobby and now it's turning into a looks-makeover as well.)

At first I started this to improve my health. When I started out I was just over the obese threshhold (30.1 on the BMI calculator) and realized I had to do something about it or else be at high risk of diabetes, heart disease, etc. Now, at 32 pounds down, my BMI is 24.9, just under the overweight threshhold. I am now officially a minority, the 1 out of 3 American adults who is not overweight or obese! These last 12 pounds are completely for vanity, baby. And vanity as motivator is sure working for me these days.

This is What 30 Looks Like

...30 pounds, that is.


I celebrated by buying a few new tops. Here I am wearing one of them with the Muffin Top pants, which currently look great as long as I'm standing up. :-)

Good Karma

Wow. The Karma Fairies are really smiling down at me today. My stunt that saved the day at the BalletMet audition a couple of weeks ago moved them to send a thank-you note and a check that was more than the gig paid me in the first place!

Dear Karin,

Thank you so much for "going the extra mile" (literally) for us at our audition. You saved the day for us and we could not have done the audition without your quick thinking and extra effort.

Please use the enclosed gift to treat yourself.

Sincerely,

Chris Rogers
BalletMet

This is awesome! I am going to treat myself when I get a chance to go to Sephora and use my gift card Darcy gave me for my birthday, as I'm running low on several goodies at once.

On another ballet-related note, tonight was $5.00 noght at the Cedar Lee movie theatre, so I went to see Ballets Russes, a documentary on the 20th Century dance troupe that, as I learned, actually brought ballet to most of America. There were tons of stunning archival footage interspersed with interviews with some of the dancers, now in their 80s and 90s.

Also, a lot of the music, soundtracks to the pieces choreographed decades ago on the company, were pieces I play for class all the time, that I didn't even know were used in a ballet ever!

I actually owe a lot of what I do for a living to the Ballets Russes, when I think about it. They almost singlehandedly brought ballet to American conciousness.

I Look Like My Dog

These I Look Like My Dog contest winners are impressively hillarious!

Saturday's Windsong Concert

Last weekend, Windsong performed our winter concert to a capacity (240+) crowd. My hands never got warm the entire time, though I think that was due more to adrenaline than the coolness of the room, but we did an excellent job! Here a really cool review. (Only one quibble--she says I provided "occasional" accompaniment. I guess that's true if by "occasional," one means "only" 75% of the songs.)

Muffin Tops (Boring, Girly Weight-Loss/Body Size Post)

Our house is cold, I constantly wear sweaters, and my fingers and toes never get warm unless I'm exercising, but I keep reminding myself: body trying to keep warm=higher metabolism!

I lost a freakish 3.0 more pounds between Jan. 2 and Jan. 9, which includes another 1/4" on all measurements, so I am now down 28.5 pounds! And this in a week that included no walking, short (1 job) workdays (except Sunday!), and cookies and/or chocolate every single day. I celebrated by wearing my new size 14 Target jeans Monday and Tuesday. They're still a bit snug--if they weren't stretch there's no way I could have done it--and I have serious "muffin tops" over the waistband, necessitating a strict "all shirts long and untucked" policy, but I bet they'll fit in a month. (I wish I had made up the term "muffin tops." But I actually learned it from one of those lists of Top 10 New Words of 2005. Here is an example of the word used in an article. It was the first Google result after a search for "muffin tops." Oh, here's a link that's even better--an entry from the Double-Tongued Word Wrester Dictionary, complete with word history!)

I just saw this article in Newsweek about the importance of core muscle strength for long-term health (yoga, pilates, etc.). My workout DVDs incorporate this training, and I already notice my back is a lot less sore. I gave Mouchie my ugly office chair and now use an exercise ball to sit at the computer, and sitting at a backless piano bench all day is a lot easier! Mouchie loves the chair, too--he sleeps on it, sheds on it, and uses it as a horizontal scratching post. At first I discouraged this behavior, but I've noticed it's saving wear and tear on the office futon. :-)

Surprisingly, I didn't gain any weight or girth over the Houston trip, despite lots of sitting, no exercise, meals out, and a party full of Texas-style entrees and an entire table full of homemade brownies, cakes, and cookies. I actually lost .5 pound that week, don't ask me how. That included the closest thing to a binge I've had since September--eating 24 oz of Jelly Bellies and saltwater taffy from a gift shop all by myself over 2 days. I guess that actually is a binge. :-S Strangely, we can have massive amounts of chocolate in the house and I won't do that. But I just can't handle the soft, chewy candies. Well, part of it was the "I'm on vacation/holiday" syndrome, which, mercifully, ended the day after we got home. Even that amount (I used to eat at least 24 oz of candy every day!) made me feel icky and gave me nasty gastrointestinal side effects. You'd think that would be a deterrent, but I still didn't stop. Oh well, my goal was just to maintain over the vacation, which I still managed to do.

Don't worry, I am not going to waste away! I started out with a 37.75" waist, and my goal is a 30" waist. (I have exactly 3" to go and I'll be there.) I don't even care what the other measurements are. Last time I was that size, I was at 140 pounds. I'm realizing as I get closer that my waist might not be that small at 140 this time (10 years older), so I might end up shooting for 135 or so. We'll see.

An Unintended Workout

I knew today was going to be jam-packed, but I had no idea just how much I would end up doing today. Here was my schedule:

9:30-10:30 UU Choir practice at chuch
10:45-12:00 Play for church service with choir singing
12:30-1:30 Potluck lunch, yak with friends
1:30-2:00 The first 1/2 hour of Worship Committee meeting, which I have to leave early from so I can get downtown in time for
2:30-4:00 Gig playing for audition class for BalletMet's Summer Intensive workshop. I then leave ASAP to arrive as soon as possible (though I will still be late) for
4:00-6:00 Windsong rehearsal (concert is this Saturday). Then I rush back to church for
6:30-8:30 Building Your Own Theology Class.

But how could anything else possibly fit into this schedule? you're probably thinking. Well, here's the story. Everything went great until I arrived downtown for the audition gig. It was held at the West Studio at the State Theatre (part of Playhouse Square). I have been gigging there intermittently for the past 18 years, and (other than it sometimes being chilly or the piano being out of tune) never have had any problems there. So I really didn't expect the scenario that awaited me.

I got there 10 minutes early (like a good little professional). I stuck my head inside the studio and noticed something unusual--the piano was gone. I glanced down the hallway and saw (what I thought was) the back of an upright piano against the wall. I introduced myself to the instructor and asked if there was someone who could help me move it back into the studio. She volunteered herself, and as we approached the "piano," we realized it was just a prop from the opera. The opera people were in the other studio, but there was only one piano in there and they were using it. Uh-oh.

I went down to the security guard, who first asked me if I had "ordered a piano" for the studio. He found the invoice, and, what do you know, there was the piano request in writing. He made a call to a worker, who was on break from 2:00-3:00. These are union guys, he explained. If he made them work during their break, they would charge double. They wouldn't be back until at least 3 and then they still had to "locate" a piano and then bring it up the freight elevator. I figured that, since the audition was over at 4 and it was now 2:30, by the time they got their act together it would be too late.

So after relaying this unwelcome information to the instructor, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I ran like a bat out of hell back to my car (3 minutes), drove home, making all the lights and only speeding a little bit (9 minutes), ran up the stairs to grab my little keyboard and accessories and back out to the car (2 minutes), and drove back downtown to my same parking spot (10 minutes). Fortunately, it was a nice, dry day. I then slung the 15-pound bag of accessories over my shoulder, tucked the 20-pound keyboard under one arm, and galumphed back to the studio and up the stairs (4 minutes). Smiling ballet moms greeted me and held doors for me. The instructor was beside herself with relief. "Oh, you're beautiful!" she exclaimed ecstatically.

She started showing an exercise when I entered the room, and by the time she'd finished I was all plugged in, set up, and ready to play (60 seconds).

Another example of how my regular workouts are paying off!
Total time spent saving the day: 25 minutes
Cardio minutes: 8
Strength training minutes: 6
Total minutes in target heart-rate zone: at least 25. Nothing like a beat-the-clock challenge to rev up the ol' metabolism!

Now my little keyboard is woefully inadequate for a ballet class. It only has 5 octaves. The touch is hard to control. I've banged it up over the past 13 years and some notes cause a rattling vibration or stick out too much or don't sound. But nobody cared. They were just so thrilled I was able to fix the problem.

The Great Purge of 2006

I did something today to celebrate my 25-pound weight loss milestone--I indulged in a huge purge. Oh no, you're thinking, don't tell me she's developing an EATING DISORDER?! Oh no, my little chickadees. Besides knowing that that's totally f****d up, I loathe vomiting and find the idea of doing it on purpose alien and vile.

On the contrary, I spent the morning purging my closet of unwearable clothes, something I haven't done in 4 years. Most of my pants and jeans are now swimmingly huge on me, to the point where even a belt doesn't work. All of my summer clothes from post-2002 look laughably dumpy, as they billow shapelessly around me with huge armpit holes and saggy waists.

A mood-booster: a little dark green dress and sweater set, labeled size 14 (not 14W, but Misses 14) fits me as well as it did in the summer of 2000! Can it be that I've now lost 5 1/2 years' worth of weight gain?!

I also put in the pile clothes I've had forever that now fit me, but didn't age well or just look too dowdy or out of style. I gave everything the benefit of the doubt, and tried everything on. Anything which inspired me to say, "You will never, ever wear this!" went in the pile.

I ended up with 2 kitchen garbage bags full of neatly folded clothes (about 50 pounds) and just got back from getting rid of them forever at the Goodwill. Boy, does that ever feel good!

On Monday, I went to Target to buy a "transitional" pair of jeans, as all of my denim is too big for me now. I got a pair of size 14 stretch jeans that almost fit me now. They still cause a bulge above the waistline so I probably won't wear them for another 3-4 weeks, but they already feel comfortable. I'm really, really getting there!

January Health Update Stats:

60% toward goal
Weight: -25.5 pounds
Bust: -4.0"
Waist: -4.5"
Hips: -3.75"
Thigh: -3.0"

Random Coincidence

I have morning off this week, and as usual, instead of doing something productive, I have been catching up on all my favorite web haunts I randomly came across this article about people who crash weddings. Imagine my surprise when, getting down to the last part of the article, "Todd" (in picture above) turns out to be Angus MacLane. Now he's an animator at Pixar, but once he was the 3-year-old down the street who was the first kid I ever babysat when I was 13. I babysat him and his little sister for the next five years. It's moments like this when the world just seems really small.

Birthday Weekend

My birthday was Friday and I'm 41 now. I love celebrating birthdays, no matter how old I get and I've never felt the need to be "discreet" about my age. So far every decade has been better than the last and I have no reason to expect the 40s to be any different. I like being this age--old enough to have some perspective on life and young enough to still feel pretty good physically.

Actually, I feel a lot better than I did on my 40th. It was nice this year, for one thing, for my entire family, Paul, and myself not to be violently ill with the flu.

I had a wonderful day Friday. After a workout, Paul took me to see Brokeback Mountain (which I highly recommend). An early dinner at Lopez followed, a heavenly chicken enchilada suiza with a kickass margarita--my favorite cuisine plus my favorite drink. It was so deliciously satisfying, I didn't need to eat for the rest of the day.

After dark, we went to see the holiday decorating and lighting display at Stan Hywet Hall, which, although it was cold and crowded, was beautiful and very fun. When I got home, I returned calls of all the family members who called to wish me a happy birthday. All in all, it was a great way to start my own personal new year.

Speaking of the New Year, we went out dancing at the Cavana Ballroom, where we take our lessons. Last time we did this, two years ago, my feet killed me for a whole day after dancing off and on for 4 hours. But now that I'm in better shape and weigh 25.5 pounds less (yay me!), the only discomfort I felt in my feet was not from the dancing, but from the fact that my dance shoes have a 1.5" heel and no arch support, and my toes kept jamming into the tip of the shoes from gravity, which I am not used to.

We had a catered dinner and met some new people, who took this pic of us:

I'm wearing my new jacket that Mom & Ron gave me for my birthday, and that I've been living in for the past 4 days. Took it off to dance, though!

At about 11 pm, we were treated to an exhibition dance by our instructor Jim and his wife Suzanne. She played the role of Jessica Rabbit, complete with bright orange wig and body-hugging dress with fake boobs, knocking the men dead with her wiles. It was cute and very entertaining.

We had a midnight countdown with champagne punch and a balloon drop, followed by more dancing. I have high hopes that 2006 will be a great year!

Texas Family Reunion

You know, I was expecting Texas to be more of a foreign country. Well, beautiful 70-80 degree weather right after Christmas was a pretty dramatic shift. And it is true, everything's bigger there. Even the traffic lights are 2-3 miles apart, and it takes at least 45 minutes to go anywhere there. We passed by signs pointing out Tom DeLay's district and the Halliburton headquarters--we were definitely in BushCroneyland.

Most of our time was spent near where Paul's brother David lived. All of us visiting family members stayed at the Holiday Inn about 2-3 miles from David's house, and spent most of our time hanging out together talking, eating, driving, and eating some more, having an overall good time.

We all first met, some of us straight from the airport, at a Sears portrait studio for family pictures. Paul's family always does this at reunions, as they tend to happen only once every decade or so. I think it's a great idea.

We decided to get some taken of the two of us, and I think they turned out pretty cute.

We ordered prints, including some wallet-sized ones, plus a CD of all of the images so if people want to make calendars, cards, extra prints, etc, just email me and I'll send you the original jpeg file. You can see them all here, along with the pics I took during the rest of our trip.

I really enjoyed meeting and hanging out with Paul's people. Everybody knew not to talk about inflammatory topics, so there was no weirdness on that issue. I loved seeing family resemblance here and there, and seeing family photo albums.

You have to see this pic. It's Paul's grandmother holding a tuba with Paul's father in it! :-)

That Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Well, one of them, anyway! Yesterday, Darcy came by to visit for a few hours. We spent the whole time just yakking, catching up on all the topics we miss in our phone conversations, exchanging fun presents, and indulging in our annual photo session--this is the third Christmas Eve we've done this. It was so good to see her. It meant a lot to me.

We thought we'd shoot some obligatory Cute Couple pics while we were at it. One of them might make our Christmas cards next year.


At about 6, we had to kick Darcy out because I had to get up to church to rehearse with Amy and Sharon for the service, which started at 7 pm. It as a lovely service--carols interspersed with readings, some humorous and some touching, and ending with several verses of Silent Night by candlelight. We hung around for another half hour socializing over cookies.

We had minestrone soup and a few more cookies for dinner while we watched our DVD of It's a Wonderful Life, a tradition that Dad started maybe 10-15 years ago (not from my childhood). Paul & I have watched it every Christmas Eve we've been together--this is our fourth--and I love this tradition. This time we didn't have to cram packing into our schedule because we didn't have to fly anywhere today, or leave the house at all, for that matter.

We slept in as late as Mouchie would let us (about 8:30) and then enjoyed our stockings filled with clementines, shelled mixed nuts and dark Malley's chocolate foil-wrapped bells. We had a few fun little gifts from mostly family, and laughed at Mouchie as he played with the wrapping paper.

We roasted a 10-lb ham (my first ever). Wow, was that ever good. We got it yesterday morning at the West side market. It was a bone-in, non-precooked one, and super high quality. We coated it with a sugar rub with ginger, cloves, mustard and lime zest with pecan halves all over it--delicious, and not that hard. I managed to fit in a workout and we did our Christmas cards together while listening to David Sedaris's Santaland Diaries, one of our "sentimental" holiday favorites. We got to talk to Dad, Becky & Hannah, Eric, and Mom on the phone.

The rest of the evening's plans include watching A Christmas Story and packing for our trip to Houston tomorrow. Paul's family is having a huge reunion there from the 26-29th. I checked the weather and it's supposed to be in the 70s the whole time we're there! Whoo hoo!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I Hate Being Late

Being late is one of the things that stresses me out. I've noticed that peole fall into one of two types: the Time Concious and the Time Oblivious, and I am firmly in the former camp. Other people have nightmares about being chased, falling off a cliff, or being naked in public. I have those, too, but my worst ones are about missing an important flight or being hours late for work with no way of communicating to the person waiting for me.

This morning, I woke up in the dark worrying about the Christmas packages (non-calendar stuff and kids' gifts) that I sent last Monday by Priority Mail (Guaranteed 2-3 Days Delivery Most Locations!) Surely they should have made it by Friday (yesterday), and actually should have made it by Wednesday or Thursday.

Yesterday Paul brought home a box of all nine of our calendars that had been sent to our box at the UPS Store. I had asked the company, Digi-Labs, to send them individually to the intended recipients, they emailed me back saying they said they would, but it looks like they all got sent to me. Oh well, they're here, so I won't complain.

I sent an email to you all, asking if any of you had received one individually, and since everyone who replied back said no, I wrapped them and sent them off today. There was absolutely no line at the Post Office today, as people are aware that it's Just Too Late for Christmas delivery, so there was no stress at all, and I am happy that you all will get them before New Years'.

So why the early morning stress? you ask. Well, Becky said she hadn't gotten my package for Hannah Jo, either. This is upsetting to me, because late Christmas presents for adults, especially when warned about, are really no big deal. But to a kid, it can be really disappointing. Flaky as I can sometimes be, I've never let kids down with late Christmas or birthday presents, and I don't want to start now.

I can't help but wonder what other of my Monday packages still haven't made it. I know Mom & Ron's did because she emailed me Thursday. Eric & Rusty? Alec? And it's not even my fault! Stupid Post Office.

Christmas Present Disaster

Warning to loved ones: Spoiler Alert Re: Your Christmas Gift

I was all excited that, after tracking the package all week, the calendars I had ordered were delivered today. We have a crazy weekend hosting a party tomorrow, then overnight guests Sunday, so the earliest I could lovingly wrap and mail our gifts out would be Monday, cutting it close but not so close that I would have to pay premium postage.

When Paul picked up the box and brought it home, he was suspicious of its lightness. Shouldn't 9 calendars weigh more than 1.0 pounds? I opened it--and it was only one calendar--somebody else's! I was SOOO PISSED!

No customer service contact info was in the paperwork, so I went to turn on the computer and find it online. While waiting for it to start up, I noticed the paperwork had a different order#, 2 digits away from mine, plus the rightful recipient's contact info, including email and phone number. She lives in El Cajon, CA! I was just flabbergasted that they could fail to notice the completely non-matching zip codes, at least!

So I call the number, wait on hold for a few minutes, and.........eventually get directed to an answering machine! This really didn't look good. I didn't know what else to do so I left my number along with a request to either fix it and send it overnight or give me my money back. Not trusting they would get the message, I also sent them an email.

Then I thought, hmmm, maybe Lisa in California got my calendars, and we can just send them to each other and be done with it. I should call. As it turns out, she got 10 calendars that should have gone to yet another family, in Maryland! Who, by the way, she has tried to contact via email and hasn't heard back from. Arrrrgh. Did I mention I was pissed? Ain't no way my family members and other loved ones are gonna get these in time for Christmas.

The tech guy did call back half and hour later, though, offered to reprint them and send them directly to my recipients if I just email him their addresses. So I did that and requested that they reply and confirm that they're really going to do this.

I still feel very uneasy, given that this is the beginning of the weekend, and the last weekend before Christmas, as it happens, and I won't even know they got the message until at least Monday. And if they don't get it together, your presents won't be there in time.

Cold December Health Update, or A 21-Pound Salute

It's been so freakin' cold here since Thanksgiving. In fact, it's the second coldest December ever recorded here so far. Because of the high cost of heating oil, this is the first time in my 23 years here that the room temperature settings in buildings I frequent have been cool enough that sweaters are a necessity. I have never understood the peculiar midwestern custom of cranking up the heat to 75-80 degrees, which to me is more appropriate for shorts and t-shirts than winter sweaters and layered ensembles a la L. L. Bean.

Of course we keep our house on the cool side, because we're on the frugal side. If I'm chilly, I just put on another sweater, light jacket, bathrobe, etc. and I'm fine. But even the landlord for the Cleveland School of Dance is being cheap this year, or perhaps merely negligent with heat maintenance. Usually in the past, the building is so stifling we are tempted to open windows in the middle of winter, but now it's noticably cooler. At first, I thought this was great. I could finally wear the cute sweaters I almost never wear and not be uncomfortably hot!

But every day, it's been getting colder and colder there. Today it had to be 60 or below, and my piano is right next to the drafty window. Everyone was commenting/complaining about the cold. The students were even getting silly the way you do during a crisis such as a blizzard or power outage. We felt the radiators--stone cold. It was like the heat wasn't even on! Between every single exercise I got up to jog in place or do lunges to keep warm, which helped a lot.

I have just been feeling cold all the time, and much hungrier. We've been eating things like pork with sauerkraut or barbequed ribs, plus a few Christmas cookies every single day (I made leb kuchens and gingerbread cookies last week). But (here comes the Health Update) being cold really gooses your metabolism, as it takes a lot more energy when your body is trying to keep warm. This is why our wise fellow animals fatten up all summer and fall, and by the spring have lost a third of their body weight.

I am now down a whopping 21.5 pounds in 13 weeks--that's 8.5 in the past 4 weeks alone! One more pound and I will be exactly halfway to my goal! Here are my new stats to date:

48% toward goal
Weight: -21.5 lbs
Bust: -3.25 inches
Waist: -3.75 inches
Hips: -3.25 inches
Thighs: -2.5 inches

Yay me, and still not a single day of relapsing! And cheers to Darcy, who I talked to last night--she's lost 20.5 pounds so far! We are awesome.

Also, after a 5-week rotation of my new FitPrime DVDs, I've started to do the other, more demanding set I got, the KickButts, every other day. Yes, they're harder, and I can't do all the reps yet. I don't think I overdid it today (it was a tough body-sculpting one emphasizing weights), but ask me again tomorrow. I hope I don't wake up feeling like I got run over by a truck.

The Challenges of Winter Walking

Ever since Thanksgiving, we have had bone-chillingly cold and snowy days more typical of January than of early December (technically still autumn). But have I wimped out and started taking the car to work at Case and CSA? Oh, nooooo. I am absolutely determined to keep walking 5 days a week all winter no matter how disgusting or forbidding the weather. I've decided I can walk in anything as long as I'm dressed for it.

The things I hate most about winter weather (besides it being the longest season of the year here) are as follows:

1. Sidewalks and roads with standing nasty water/slush due to poor drainage, causing me to get splashed by clueless motorists and/or coming to the realization that my boots aren't as waterproof as I thought

2. My face gets freezing numb, inspiring colorful language whan a particularly brutal blast of wind assaults me. This also causes me to involutarily hunch and cringe against the cold, therefore causing a bad-posture-induced backache.

3. Constant runny nose from the cold, or worse, nostril-cicles

4. Hat hair

My solutions to the above gripes:

1. 2 years ago I splurged and got a huge, calf-length down parka that is as bulky as a winter sleeping bag, but it's a lovely color, keeps me warm and provides a layer of protection from car splashes. Personally, I don't get the concept of short down parkas. I mean, if the wind chill's 15 below, aren't your legs and butt gonna get cold, too?

2. Last week I ordered this face mask online. Genius--it covers your nose to your neck without covering your whole head, therefore keeping your hair from being more of a disaster than it already is from your parka's hood. Sadly, the only solutions to hat hair are 1. Don't cover your head and endure the agonizing cold or 2. Give up walking outside.

This past week had wind chills in the single digits every single day. At least 3 people at work expressed disbelief that I was still walking, but your intrepid heroine was ready for it, slogging through unplowed sidewalks feeling fairy warm and comfortable, head held high. I had my mighty parka, with hood drawn tight, face mask, sunglasses against the blinding glare (it was sunny with a lot of snow on the ground), and laced-up hiking boots.

I noticed something interesting, though. Usually other pedestrians and I say hello as we pass each other, but now everybody avoided making eye contact with me, and some even looked a little freaked out as none of my actual face was visible under all the protective gear. When I got home and looked in the mirror, I could kind of see why:


I look like some sort of bloated, deranged insect. I have clearly reached the stage in life where function beats out form.

May-December

I've heard the Ashton Kutcher/Demi Moore marriage referred to as a "May-December romance." I don't know about you, but I think, metaphorically speaking, you don't reach the "December" phase of life until near the end of it. You know, "winter of my discontent" age. At the minimum, at least the age you're old enough to be a card-carrying member of the AARP.

Demi is 43, only a couple years older than myself! If she were the 28-year-old and he the 43-year-old, they would have called it "May-September," if anything, or at worst, "mid-life crisis meets trophy wife." It seems that women Of a Certain Age are perceived as older than men of the same age.

All of these seasonal descriptions got me thinking about the idea of the metaphor of months corresponding with the human life cycle--spring as the time of youth, summer young adulthood, autumn middle age, late autumn to early winter old age and death, and the bulk of winter perhaps that dormant time after death or before birth.

If I were going to assign what I consider appropriate ages for each month, what would they be for a human with an average 80-year lifespan?

March: Birth, infancy, early to mid childhood (0-8)
April: Late childhood to young teen (9-16)
May: Peak fertility years (17-24)
June: Young adulthood (25-32)
July: Mid Adulthood (33-40)
August: Early Middle Age (41-48)
September: Middle Age (49-56)
October: Late Middle Age/"Young" Old Age (57-64)
November: Old Age (65-72)
December: Late Old Age/Death (73-80)
January and February: The Twilight Zone

This little exercise has made me realize how much in denial our society is about how Aging=You're Gonna Die Someday. Middle age is always however old your parents are. We think death is optional, and if we just keep eating healthy/working out/getting ourselves sliced and diced with cosmetic surgery procedures, it won't happen to us.

A coworker of mine was going on and on about how someday in our lifetimes, we'll have the technology to live to 120, and he was all excited about the idea of living that long. Yeah, I don't particularly want to die either, but to me that just seems like hogging the stage and wearing out your welcome.

Dear Mr. Smoke Alarm

You know we love your desire to constantly look out for our safety, your willingness to stun our ears on all three floors at the merest whiff of smoke, amply warning us, and probably our nieghbors, of the possiblilty of a devastating fire.

But, with all due respect, I could have lived without your opinion on the wisdom of my decision to use the broiler the other night. Yes, I know, our oven isn't the cleanest. We don't know how to use its self-cleaning feature,* so it has a layer, or six, of our cooking spills from the past 3-4 years.

Every time I opened the oven, even before putting the chicken in, you just had to open your big mouth with that incessant, shrieking high A-flat "people repellent" tone of voice, causing me to drop to a fetal position with my fingers in my ears, moaning my annoyance. Getting a chair under you to fan you and calm you down was painful as it necessitated the removal of my fingers from my ears. I think I showed admirable restraint in not ripping you innards out, (as I so dearly desired,) but carefully took the time to figure out how to open your battery case and remove what I thought was the equivalent of your brain. A humane lobotomy, if you will.

Imagine my surprise when, as I was basting the chicken, you let forth with more mighty wailing, even battery-less! And not only you, but your syncophant disciples on the basement and top floors who just have to echo everything you have to say. It's enough to make one wonder whether all that public safety talk about replacing your batteries whenever there's a time change is just a load of B.S.

I know it was you, though, because you finally stopped when I fanned you, not your siblings on the other floors.

I know some people pray in vain for miracles, and it doesn't seem fair that I, who never requested one, should receive the Miracle of the Battery-less, but Still Functioning Smoke Alarm, and I don't even appreciate it. Can I trade this one in for a Vision of How To Temporarily Deactivate the Smoke Alarm?

*After this incident, Paul went online and found an oven manual, not of our model, but of one very similar, with self-cleaner instructions. I guess we'll have to wait until spring to do it, since it will be very smoky and smelly so we'll need to have every window open.

Mid-November Health Update

Edited 11/18/05 to add: Here's a new pic of me standing up straight and holding it in on a good hair day.* I make a pretty good-looking size 18, even if I do say so myself. <grin>

*I think I've finally figured out how to style this cut and it's finally finished growing out, looking much better than three months ago.

In 1996, the first time I ever modified my lifestyle on purpose, I lost 35 pounds in 4 months, more or less keeping it off for a year and a half. I have been known to refer self-deprecatingly to that time as my "weight-loss-as-a-full-time-hobby period," meaning, of course, how worth it could it be when I had to spend every waking moment thinking about it?

Well, here I am 9 weeks into my health makeover with not a single week passing without measurable progress, not a single day of backtracking or bingeing (which I can't say about the first time). And I've come to realize I can't be successful at this without it being a full-time hobby or "project." I'm not OCD about it--I don't count calories, I don't do workouts more than 4 times a week, and no particular food is completely off-limits--but I do constantly think about things like how I can get more walking or fiber in, or how many weeks until I can comfortably wear my 2002 jeans.

It is so worth it, though. I feel like I've knocked 5 years off how old I feel (no longer feeling "middle-aged"). Caffeine is no longer necessary to jump-start me in the morning. My feet hurt a lot less, most days not at all. And I already look noticeably different, and can wear all of my 2003 clothes, having lost almost 3 years' worth of weight gain!

My new workout DVDs finally came about 10 days ago, and I've done all 6 FitPrimes once each already. They are the best workouts ever, and perfect for what I need at this stage of my life. I'm still walking 5 days a week, too.

I've set myself an ambitious but realistic goal--to get back to a size 12 (38-30-40) and 140 lbs, which is healthy for me. At the rate I'm going, I should get there by spring!

I'm about 30% there. Progress so far:
Weight: -13.0 lbs
Bust: -2.0 inches
Waist: -2.75 inches
Hips: -2.25 inches
Thighs: -2.0 inches

An Evening at Dale & Joy's

Last Friday, we spent a fun evening with our friends Dale & Joy, plus two of their kids and a few other assorted friends of theirs we met for the first time. It started with the preparation of gioza, or Japanese dumplings, made by Paul and Dale. They used to make them for years every Friday night after marital arts class, so they really know their stuff.

Here is a close-up of Dale's hands mixing the filling:

Dale, Paul and Joy cooking up a storm. I had the enviable position of staff photographer. :-)

After dinner, which included gioza, Paul's beef curry rice, and sake, we adjourned to the living room for some music making. This was the first time Paul and Dale had ever played together. The audience was very appreciative!

I asked Dale to take a picture when it was Paul's and my turn to play. This is the very first picture of us playing together! It was lots of fun.

Tonight we went to the Haunted Autumn Auction at the UU, which included yummy appetizers, a silent auction and a concert of live rock/folk music. What a great time! Since Paul was coming later, I walked (3 mi.) so we wouldn't have to use gas for 2 cars. I won a buttload of stuff, including 12 vouchers for Cleveland International Film Festival tickets, 4 vouchers for Cleveland Public Theatre, 3 gift certificates for food, and a homemade pumpkin coffee cake that smells heavenly. I immediately froze 3/4 of it wrapped in single portions.

Tomorrow Bev is coming over for a blogging tutorial from me--not that I think I'm an expert--but I guess since she knows zilch about it and I know a little, I can share what little I know.

Andrew's Apology and Other Updates

On Tuesday, I got a cell phone message from Andrew apologizing, saying he was in the wrong and I was right to be upset, and they didn't want to lose me. That did make me feel better. Am I a terrible person for not getting around to calling him back? I have a built-in hiatus from the Gospel choir (until Nov. 13) and it is just so nice to not have to deal with it for a month.

Weather Update
It has finally cooled down to jacket/coat weather, about 50 degrees. I love it. I can finally wear long sleeves, even at work (the studios are now "only" 75-80 degrees) and I no longer need a fan contantly pointed at my face attempting to dry off the sweat. Our house really holds the heat. Even when it gets down to 45 at night, it's still in the mid-60s inside, and that's without the heat on. Every day we keep thinking we'll have to break down and turn it on for the first time since April, but we still haven't. I love beating the system and saving on our gas bill by not using the furnace!

Fitness Update
This week I'm down 2 more pounds and another 1/4" off everything. My jeans are loose enough that they look better with a belt(!) This hasn't been the case for over 2 years.

I've moved up from my beginner videos to the more intermediate ones I haven't used for over 5 years. I'm taking it somewhat easy. They're kicking my butt, but I'm staying just this side of overdoing it. I'm 5 years older and, oh, 35 pounds heavier and my joints and feet don't appreciate some of the high-impact stuff.

I did a little research online to discover what's new with The FIRM's exercise videos, reading lots of reviews. It turns out the the original founders of The FIRM are now in their mid-fifties, and have come out with a new line of workouts for people over 35 that incorporates aerobics, strength training, Pilates and Yoga, with an emphasis on functional fitness, flexibility, and good workouts that don't kill you or strain your joints. I thought, perfect! and promptly ordered the whole master set. It should get here in 2-3 weeks. I can't wait!

I'm Having Doubts About the Gospel (Choir)

My Gospel Choir gig was so fun over the spring and summer. We sang every month in May, June, and July, culminating in the Raise the Roof Gospel Service on August 7, which was attended by over 200 people. We sang for 20 minutes and it went really well. We had the rest of August off and it was my understanding that we were going to start up in September with rehearsals to sing on the 4th Sunday as previously agreed upon.

Now I'm on the mailing list for their newsletter, which is how I found out they were planning to sing on the 3rd Sunday (their homecoming Sunday) in September ("featuring special music," etc.). Now this would have been fine with me if someone had let me know, but I was already committed that day at my own church. I got the feeling that no one there had any idea that my Sundays are full of other jobs and commitments, and I can't just be "on call" and flexible.

It's hard because their minister is on a 3-month sabbatical that doesn't end until November, so it seems like no one is in charge there. Andrew, the choir director, is talented and passionate but has real problems being organized, following through, and remembering agreements from one week to the next. So I wrote him a letter letting him know about my other Sunday jobs and reviewing the agreement for my availability for rehearsals and services. So no problem, Dorothea would play for their service on Sept. 18, then they would sing again on the 25th with me playing.

So I learned the 2 new songs, got there at 9:30 am as agreed on the 25th for rehearsal. Only one person showed up and Andrew himself was 30 minutes late! I was understandably irritated, especially when no one else ever showed up and we ended up not even singing after all that. I said I was going home and would see them not the next week, but the week after, as per our schedule agreement.

Last Sunday (Oct 9) was the day. Luckily it occured to me to check my cell phone for messages before trekking all the way there. There was a message from Andrew saying he was sick and rehearsal was cancelled. I called him back and said this was no problem, as I was sick too, see ya next week, etc.

So today I checked my phone--no messages--and drove all the way there, only to see no one in the sanctuary. I went downstairs to the fellowship hall, and there was Andrew along with 2 of the choir members. Everyone else had evidently left already. So once again, no rehearsal. I couldn't help feeling annoyed. I said maybe we should just sing for special occasions, two or three times a year maybe, because I was getting tired of putting energy into preparation only to have rehearsals fall through again and again.

Andrew was upset because every time he sees me I'm irritated, he doesn't like being bitched at, and if he had known I had so many other Sunday commitments in the first place, he wouldn't have hired me because, as he puts it, in his church tradition down South, a Gospel choir is a full-time commitment and his goal was to have it singing every Sunday! The other choir members were trying to calm him down, trying to explain to him that that isn't our agreement, apologizing to me for their fellow choristers' flakiness and thanking me for coming.

I guess we're not singing next Sunday, as we haven't had a rehearsal for too many weeks. I agreed to give them another chance for November, but really, I just don't need this aggravation. It doesn't help that David (the minister) isn't available, especially since he was the one to actually "hire" me. I know Andrew was just upset and venting, but that remark really bugs me. I feel like saying, "Well, good luck finding someone else who is both 1) able to learn your songs from a CD as well as I can and willing to do it for the small amount you're paying me and 2) available every Sunday to be at your beck and call. These 2 requirements tend to be mutually exclusive!" Grrrr.

5 Weeks In--Health Makeover Kickin' Butt!

Other than a horrendously awful cold that just started improving a couple of days ago, my health has improved tremendously in the past month, one lifestyle change at a time. I knew if I tried to change everything at once, it would have been too overwhelming, and I probably would have said, "Oh, screw it--this is too hard."

I haven't had one single moment of weakness in over a month, I think because I'm thinking "Moderation" instead of "You Shouldn't." As an example, I eat extra sharp cheddar cheese every day--1 piece, with an apple.

Here's my timeline so far:

8/29/05. My job at Case starts and the price of gas goes through the roof. I have ample motivation to walk to work 5 days a week. every week I walk a total of 15 miles for a total time of 4 hours and 10 minutes.

9/8/05. I finish my last economy-size bag of bite-sized candy bars and decide to stop bingeing. For the next few days I still eat more than I need to, but at least it's real food instead of candy.

9/12/05. I begin watching portion sizes and eating more fiber. My stomach "shrinks" overnight and I am amazed at how little I actually need to feel full.

9/19/05. I decide to take my measurements so I can measure progress, even weighing myself for the first time in a couple of years. If I were a more typical female victim of our society's brainwashing, I probably would have thought, "Ugh, huge, what a cow," etc. But I don't hate my body. I just thought, "Wow, kind of big."

9/26/05. Time to start incorporating stength training, putting the mid-day holes in my work schedule to good use. I am alternating my 2 entry-level Firm videos 3 times a week. So far I've only skipped once, this past weekend, because I was sick.

I feel great. I've lost about 5 pounds and at least half an inch of every measurement. Ideally, I could stand to get rid of about 40 extra pounds (!) but I'm not in any big hurry. I don't want to become one of those boring people and get all anal about it. Last time I did that, and I eventually rebelled--for the last 6 years.