Primate tendencies

We were eating tuna salad sandwiches for dinner, and Paul got a blob of food stuck to his cheek. I picked it off his face instead of saying something. He immediately used a napkin to wipe, saying, "My sweetie has primate tendencies."

It finally occured to me to ask after all these years, "Does it bug you when I do that?"

"Sometimes."

"Sorry!" I said. Wow, the first time he's ever admitted something I do bugs him, and I had to ask or I would never have known.

He said, "Sometimes I think it's sweet, but sometimes I get a parental vibe from it."

"Makes sense," I said. "And if I licked it off your face, I guess it could have a.....
....sort of 'puppy dog' vibe to it, couldn't it? Not the sort of vibe you're looking for."

Exactly. "We'd like to keep the bestiality or incest vibes out of our vibe repertoire, right?" he said jokingly.

Inspiration struck me. I can just see one of those supermarket checkout line mags geared to tired housewives, like Women's Day, Good Housekeeping, etc. They always have the same headlines every month--Melt the Pounds Away in 14 Days While Eating Anything You Want (next to a picture of a birthday cake in the shape of a train) , How to Get More Energy, Protect Your Kids From the Bogeyman o' the Month, and my favorite, How to Get That Spark Back Into Your Marriage.

Relight the Passionate Fires in Your Marriage With These Easy Bestiality and Incest Roleplaying Games!